Is "mommy brain" just another way to blame someone else (your baby) for your forgetfulness, talent for losing things, ability to lose track of all thoughts and conversations, etc.?
I used to think not. In fact, up until a week ago, I would never have even uttered the two words "mommy" and "brain" in the same sentence. Up until a week ago, I could pretty much stay on track with everything, including conversations, my things, my baby's things, and whatever else I was supposed to be in charge of.
In fact, I was better than fine. I was and still am scrapbooking a few times a week and keeping on top of Ailin's book, and I even started a new album about my hometown. I was emailing people on a semi-regular basis, and I was even keeping up to date with family news, gossip and some Hollywood gossip. (Okay, so what if I never really had much interest in real news...thank god though because I doubt I could keep up.)
Then, the continued lack of sleep over time has somehow caught up with my brain, and I am now slowing down. Fuzziness has taken over as I rack my brain trying to remember the last sentence I said just 5 seconds ago. Or when I set something down and can't remember what it was or where I put it, and then I suddenly don't remember what I am looking for.
And, this might explain my problem with the lost keys. (Although Red Ferrari Lady is partly to blame for their continued loss...) Or the stupid pot being stuck in the pan. Did I forget that both were very hot? Then, just yesterday, Suk reminded my 5 times to give him Ailin's insurance card, and when he reminded me again this morning, and I had no idea where it was and I started to panic. 'It's gone. I don't know where it is. What! It should be right here, but it's not! Oh my god!!!" Suk opened the diaper bag and found it right away, amongst our bank account books.
This afternoon, as I waited for Ailin to settle down into a nap so I could get ready for the day. (Yes, I admit it, I was still not ready to go out and it was 2pm by then.) Of course, she refused to nap and just wanted to play. Oh, if Suk had been here, she'd be napping already!!!! Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and do the next best thing. I got ready quickly, rushed her out to the car and strapped her in seat. She fell asleep just after we began driving, and she stayed asleep for a good hour.
I, on the other hand, was also very sleepy, and I found myself nodding off at intersections while waiting for the light to turn green. I stopped at a gas station convenience store to buy coffee, coke and chocolate. When I opened my wallet to pay, there was NO money inside! I explained that I had money in the car and would be right back to pay. (I could only pray and hope that I actually did have money in the car.) After a bit of searching, I found a 10,000 yen bill, and I used that to pay. This 10,000 yen bill was meant for the revenue stamps for my renewal of spousal visa and re-entry permit, which brings me to my reason for bringing up this topic today.
Our reason for going outside today was so I could go to the immigration office and renew these two important documents. Without the spousal visa, which expires every three years, I cannot live in Japan. Without the re-entry permit, which also expires every three years, I cannot return to Japan to live should I leave for a vacation or something.
So, last week, I spent a couple evenings preparing all the documents I would need for these two procedures. I even downloaded the forms on-line and filled them out. I went around collecting all the documents I would need, and I thought I was ready to do this. I really wanted to start the process before leaving for the States on Thursday as it can take up to one month to process the spousal visa, and I don't want to be late like I was last time.
My friend advised that I arrive at the immigration office just before closing to ensure the shortest wait time. Makes sense to me. I clocked in about 10 minutes before the "take a number" machine was turned off. Then, I dutifully went downstairs to the post office and bought the stamps. I thought this would save me some time later.
I waited about 45 minutes and finally my number was called. Immediately, the lady told me that this was the wrong line for spousal visas. She only handles re-entry permits, and I should have taken a separate number for each line. I guess I would have known that if I had more carefully read the signs which clearly explain this fact just above the "take a number" machine!!! (Just because I can read doesn't mean my Mommy brain can process the information!) However, since it was the end of the day, she agreed to look at my papers and process both documents for me.
Turns out that I didn't have any of the correct documents and evidential information to show that my Japanese spouse does indeed exist. I needed to show a copy of his "resident card" and his "proof of income". The proof of income is to show that he can actually support me. Okay, so here's me and my mommy brain with it's screwy logic.
(Roughly translated into English)
"But, you see, my husband is a Japanese citizen. He doesn't have a resident card. The English explanation from the internet says nothing about bringing in a juminhyo."
"Well, a Juminhyo IS a resident card."
"Oh really? Because the phrase 'resident card' is not a good translation for juminhyo. I really didn't know that I needed his juminhyo."
(Um first of all, the juminhyo is NOT a card. It is a piece of paper which states the person's address. Basically, it is a proof of residence, and not what we would think of as a resident's card, which might be something that a foreigner keeps with him/her to prove that he has the right to reside in such and such country. In the USA, we do not have juminhyo. If we need to prove our residence, we show them a recent electric bill or something like that. Of course, I know what a juminhyo is, but I have never translated it in my head to resident's card, but I guess I will from now on!)
Then,
"You also need to show proof of his income. It says so right here."
"Why should I have to show proof of his income. I checked the box for "supporting self" and I brought in proof of my income."
"We don't care about your income. We only care about your spouse's income because you are living here on a SPOUSE visa."
"Yes, but I checked the box for SELF. And, I know my income has been low this year, but that's because I am on childcare leave, and actually, I am going back to work at the same place in February. I brought proof of my contract with my school, and it states my salary right here."
"Okay, it's very nice that you have a job, and that you are going back to work soon. That nice, really. But, frankly, we don't care about your income. We just want to know what your husband does. If he was here with you, he would be able to vouch for himself, but he's not, so we need evidence."
"Fine, I understand. I wanted to bring evidence of his income, but they don't release the paperwork until the very end of the year. And, you know this deadline for my visa is really bad timing, especially if I am supposed to start the process one month ahead of time."
"Well, you didn't have to start this early. You could have waited until after the new year."
(Get the picture? I could go on and on with this one. I am not sure why I was being difficult. I just felt so ... fuzzy.)
Another document I needed was a "Letter of Guarantee" that would be filled out by my spouse. I hadn't seen this on the internet, so I just ignored it when I saw it on the list of necessary documents. I mean, I figured it must not apply to me or something. I guess it did because the immigration officer was like,
"You are missing so many documents. Why didn't you come prepared? I am not sure why you would not have brought the letter of guarantee with you, or least your husband. I mean, if you can't read the Japanese explanations, you could have shown it to your husband, right?"
"Yes, but the explanations were also in English, and I thought I understood everything."
I must say though...she showed me the Japanese explanations of necessary documents, and it is one full page in very very small print. The English version is about 6 lines long, in very large print. TYPICAL!!! For those of you who live in Japan, you will understand exactly what I mean by that.
So, after I left, I kind of realized just how stupid I was. I had absolutely no proof that A. Suk actually exists and B. that Suk wants me to have a spouse visa. I do get it now.
Luckily for me though, I do not have to go back. She marked my applications as pending, and I just have to send in the rest of the documents. She even gave me an envelope to send them in. I'll just go back to pick up my visa and re-entry permit when they are ready in January.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
More Broken Things
I may have written about all the broken weird things in my life over the summer, and I really thought it was all over with. I was starting to think my home's feng shui was really bad, so I borrowed a book from someone to learn more about the topic. I still haven't found the time to work with the book, and needless to say, my feng is not getting any better!!!!
In the last two weeks alone, three weird things happened.
The Case of the Missing Keys
Two weeks ago, Max and I were out walking in a field and for once in my life, I decided to play fetch with him. At the end of our walk, we began making our way back to the apartment building and I automatically checked my pockets for my keys. Gone!!!! I panicked slightly, but we turned around and started looking for them. Of course, we couldn't find them...I mean, I couldn't find them - Max was busying himself with his usual sniffing and leash-pulling. I knew Suk was waiting for me to get back so he could go to work, so after about 30 minutes, we made our way back to home.
Luckily for us, Suk was still at home so we could get into the house. Later that day, I went to the police station (that little field is between our apartment building and the police station, lucky for us.) and reported my keys missing. I hoped some other dog walker would find them and turn them in.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk offered to go out to the field with me and help look for the keys. Thank god he did because it took him about 30 seconds to spot them in the clover! Okay, I promised myself that I would not play fetch again with Max.
The Case of the Missing Keys Part 2
Last week, Ailin and I were going somewhere by car, and I was in a hurry. In the parking lot of our building, I stuck my keys in the keyhole of the code box to open the gate and then proceeded to drive off without taking my keys with me. This happens to people a lot, and usually the keys are either put on top of the box or are turned into the condo caretaker.
To make a long story short, when I came back hours later, the condo caretaker did not have my keys and neither did the box! I had to drive over to MIL's house and borrow her spare key, and then the caretaker lent me a key for the parking gate. He assured the keys would be turned in with a day or two.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk went down and asked him what could be done about the missing keys. After a few days, the caretaker offered to watch the security camera footage and see if he could solve the mystery. Somehow, and I am not sure how this happened, but Suk ended up viewing the footage with him and they thought they had caught the "thief" red-handed.
Speaking of red-handed, the "key thief" is someone who owns a red ferrari. The red ferrari-driving lady has two cars in her possession and was seen parking her red ferrari just after I left, and then leaving a a couple hours later in her other car. When she went to take her less-ritzy car out of the parking gate, her co-hort (could be a relative or friend) walked over and apparently grabbed my keys and they drove off with them.
It is complicated, I know. If it was just the butler in the dining room with the candlestick, life would be so much simpler. But it wasn't, and now the caretaker hung up some signs indicating that he is searching for the keys and if anyone has any information regarding their whereabouts, to please contact him.
Needless to say, I could understand if Red Ferrari Lady wants an extra parking gate key, but could she just give me back my house key? I don't feel so comfortable about another resident holding on to my house key!!!!!
Will keep you posted about my key mystery.
The Case of the 2 Pans
This could also be called "The Case of the Clumsy Science Flunky".
You know how when something that gets hot also expands a little bit? Then when it cools down, it contracts a little bit? Well, you may have forgotten this, but you learned about it in 8th grade science class.
The other night, I was in a rush to cook dinner, and I was using two pans of a approximately the same circumference. One was a big pot for cooking pasta in. The other was just a fry pan. After using the big pot, I had no where to set it as it was too hot to set directly on the counter top. So, I set it in the frying pan, which incidently, was also very hot as I had just finished using it.
Well, lo and behold, when I went back to do the dishes a few hours later, I found that these two pots were stuck together. I tried and tried to get them apart, but nothing doing.
The next day, I asked Suk to hold one while I hold the other and pull with our mights, but that didn't help either. Then he had this bright idea (did I ever mention how unbelievably handy Suk is?) to take a hammer and try to pound them and pry them apart. This only caused tiny jagged pieces of teflon and metal to fly about, and I could see the frying pan was slowing becoming a piece of shit...excuse my language.
(Incidentally, I just bought this teflon frying pan to replace the one that Suk scratched the coating off of when he "washed" it with a metal sponge. I guess he thought the teflon needed to scraped off as well as the food particles.)
So, anyway, not that we have any money right now, but we need to buy ourselves a new spaghetti pot and a new fry pan for Christmas.
In the last two weeks alone, three weird things happened.
The Case of the Missing Keys
Two weeks ago, Max and I were out walking in a field and for once in my life, I decided to play fetch with him. At the end of our walk, we began making our way back to the apartment building and I automatically checked my pockets for my keys. Gone!!!! I panicked slightly, but we turned around and started looking for them. Of course, we couldn't find them...I mean, I couldn't find them - Max was busying himself with his usual sniffing and leash-pulling. I knew Suk was waiting for me to get back so he could go to work, so after about 30 minutes, we made our way back to home.
Luckily for us, Suk was still at home so we could get into the house. Later that day, I went to the police station (that little field is between our apartment building and the police station, lucky for us.) and reported my keys missing. I hoped some other dog walker would find them and turn them in.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk offered to go out to the field with me and help look for the keys. Thank god he did because it took him about 30 seconds to spot them in the clover! Okay, I promised myself that I would not play fetch again with Max.
The Case of the Missing Keys Part 2
Last week, Ailin and I were going somewhere by car, and I was in a hurry. In the parking lot of our building, I stuck my keys in the keyhole of the code box to open the gate and then proceeded to drive off without taking my keys with me. This happens to people a lot, and usually the keys are either put on top of the box or are turned into the condo caretaker.
To make a long story short, when I came back hours later, the condo caretaker did not have my keys and neither did the box! I had to drive over to MIL's house and borrow her spare key, and then the caretaker lent me a key for the parking gate. He assured the keys would be turned in with a day or two.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk went down and asked him what could be done about the missing keys. After a few days, the caretaker offered to watch the security camera footage and see if he could solve the mystery. Somehow, and I am not sure how this happened, but Suk ended up viewing the footage with him and they thought they had caught the "thief" red-handed.
Speaking of red-handed, the "key thief" is someone who owns a red ferrari. The red ferrari-driving lady has two cars in her possession and was seen parking her red ferrari just after I left, and then leaving a a couple hours later in her other car. When she went to take her less-ritzy car out of the parking gate, her co-hort (could be a relative or friend) walked over and apparently grabbed my keys and they drove off with them.
It is complicated, I know. If it was just the butler in the dining room with the candlestick, life would be so much simpler. But it wasn't, and now the caretaker hung up some signs indicating that he is searching for the keys and if anyone has any information regarding their whereabouts, to please contact him.
Needless to say, I could understand if Red Ferrari Lady wants an extra parking gate key, but could she just give me back my house key? I don't feel so comfortable about another resident holding on to my house key!!!!!
Will keep you posted about my key mystery.
The Case of the 2 Pans
This could also be called "The Case of the Clumsy Science Flunky".
You know how when something that gets hot also expands a little bit? Then when it cools down, it contracts a little bit? Well, you may have forgotten this, but you learned about it in 8th grade science class.
The other night, I was in a rush to cook dinner, and I was using two pans of a approximately the same circumference. One was a big pot for cooking pasta in. The other was just a fry pan. After using the big pot, I had no where to set it as it was too hot to set directly on the counter top. So, I set it in the frying pan, which incidently, was also very hot as I had just finished using it.
Well, lo and behold, when I went back to do the dishes a few hours later, I found that these two pots were stuck together. I tried and tried to get them apart, but nothing doing.
The next day, I asked Suk to hold one while I hold the other and pull with our mights, but that didn't help either. Then he had this bright idea (did I ever mention how unbelievably handy Suk is?) to take a hammer and try to pound them and pry them apart. This only caused tiny jagged pieces of teflon and metal to fly about, and I could see the frying pan was slowing becoming a piece of shit...excuse my language.
(Incidentally, I just bought this teflon frying pan to replace the one that Suk scratched the coating off of when he "washed" it with a metal sponge. I guess he thought the teflon needed to scraped off as well as the food particles.)
So, anyway, not that we have any money right now, but we need to buy ourselves a new spaghetti pot and a new fry pan for Christmas.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Flickr Update
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandejlife/
I decided to update my flickr for the first time in 18 months. I just put my pages from Ailin's scrapbook on there. Rather than lug that heavy thing over to the States this Christmas, I thought I had better just take photos of the pages. Not as good as the real thing but you'll get the idea.
If you cannot access this and you want to, please let me know and I will send an invitation to you.
I decided to update my flickr for the first time in 18 months. I just put my pages from Ailin's scrapbook on there. Rather than lug that heavy thing over to the States this Christmas, I thought I had better just take photos of the pages. Not as good as the real thing but you'll get the idea.
If you cannot access this and you want to, please let me know and I will send an invitation to you.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Thank you all for your kind comments. At least one of the photos stands out more than the others. It is certainly not the family photo, but that's okay. I will get over it. (By the way, my mom reads this blog and she commented that we all look quite stiff in the photos. I guess that is a no go for her birthday present. Oh well...)
I had to scan these JC Penneys photos anyway, so I thought I would put them up here to compare. They were taken during our trip to Wisconsin last summer. Ailin was 5 months old. There are a few more poses, but these are the ones I have on hand. Can you see the difference?
I had to scan these JC Penneys photos anyway, so I thought I would put them up here to compare. They were taken during our trip to Wisconsin last summer. Ailin was 5 months old. There are a few more poses, but these are the ones I have on hand. Can you see the difference?
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Stupido Arisu Part 2
I am sorry to have inadvertantly deceived anyone regarding half price coupons at Studio Alice. I checked further into it and it turns out that the half price coupons they hand out pertain to the sitting fee only. The sitting fee is 3000 yen at full price, but I heard that on weekly days, the price is reduced or free anyway. I did also hear that some photo studios have you pay a certain price PER POSE, so if you want your family or kids to try out 5 different poses, you will have to pay the price. I have to say that is a big rip off.
I decided to post my heinous Alice photos up here. One reason is because this story is kind of funny. I was really going for the natural look, and I wanted a close, affectionate familial pose. Imagine one where Suk and I hug Ailin close between us, and only our upper torsos and heads appear in the photo.
The other reason is I am so NOT putting any of these photos in our Christmas letter, so I might as well put them somewhere. They are barely passing inspection for wasting a page in her scrapbook album. Actually, one copy is supposed to be for MIL. And we got an 8x10 for my mom. I guess she will have to suffer looking that for a whole year or until we get another one made.
I have to say, in defense of Ailin, that she is so much cuter in real life. Without sounding like a stage mother or anything of the sort, she is the type of kid who always smiles these big wide, toothy grins. At Studio Alice, she did not crack one smile which was very out of character for her. Even that idiotic Disneyland- type photographer could not get her to smile with all her little "tricks and toys." I certainly don't want my Christmas card recipients to think that Ailin always looks this confused.
I decided to post my heinous Alice photos up here. One reason is because this story is kind of funny. I was really going for the natural look, and I wanted a close, affectionate familial pose. Imagine one where Suk and I hug Ailin close between us, and only our upper torsos and heads appear in the photo.
The other reason is I am so NOT putting any of these photos in our Christmas letter, so I might as well put them somewhere. They are barely passing inspection for wasting a page in her scrapbook album. Actually, one copy is supposed to be for MIL. And we got an 8x10 for my mom. I guess she will have to suffer looking that for a whole year or until we get another one made.
I have to say, in defense of Ailin, that she is so much cuter in real life. Without sounding like a stage mother or anything of the sort, she is the type of kid who always smiles these big wide, toothy grins. At Studio Alice, she did not crack one smile which was very out of character for her. Even that idiotic Disneyland- type photographer could not get her to smile with all her little "tricks and toys." I certainly don't want my Christmas card recipients to think that Ailin always looks this confused.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Kuso Arisu - Out of the Loop
Today, we went to have professional photos taken at a local studio called Studio Alice. Now, I call it Stupido Alice. It took Suk about a week to catch on to that subtle joke.
Anyway, I was planning to scan a family photo for our Christmas letter, but I also wanted to frame a nice family photo for my mom. Anyway, I found out why it is WAY WAY better to just have photos taken at JCPenneys or Target. You'll save yourself a lot of hassle and money.
Last summer, on a whim, we got Ailin's photo taken at JCPenneys and they turned out really nice. I paid about $60 bucks for several copies in a variety of sizes and poses. Included in that price was a cool collage one that they put together using 5 different poses. Oh my - I did not realize the deal we were getting at that price.
For Christmas, I insisted that we go to Studio Alice, and I made the appointment. Suk seemed like he didn't care either way, but was willing to go along with it for my sake. I had never been to Studio Alice before, but 3 different Japanese friends recommended this particular store because the "photographer" was so good! I had seen their photos, and although they were nice, I noted that they were the "typical" pro photos often taken here in Japan.
Here is a sampling of "typical":
A photo taken when your baby is 100 days old
A photo taken when your child hits 3, 5 or 7 years old - usually in a kimono, but some kids choose to wear a prom dress or wedding dress instead
A birthday photo
Now, mind you, these studios have lots of dresses on the racks for kids to choose from - everything from kimono to bright yellow fluffy prom dresses to bee costumes. You name it, they've got it. And, in the dressing room, a woman fixes the little girls' hair in a fancy updo with bows and flowers - almost every girl's dream!
We showed up in very simple ivory shirts (uniqlo!) and jeans. Ailin was wearing a red dress with an ivory turtleneck underneath. I specifically chose this dress because it is kind of Christmasy. They offered that we look at the costumes anyway to see if there might be something we like better. Um...no, but thanks.
(Oh, and did I mention that we lost her brush, so her hair was a disaster and there was nothing much we could do. Then, I forgot her barrette int he car, and my husband was out getting it when they called us into the studio to start her photos.)
Did the photographer ask us what type of poses or style we were going for? No. Did she ask if we preferred a certain background to another? No. Did she talk to us at all? No.
As luck would have it, Ailin had had a bad night - up wanting to crawl around at 3am - then she and I slept in until 9, so by the time we got to the photo studio, she was ready for her morning nap. How could I have predicted that when I made the appointment weeks ago?
So, in essence, we got to choose from a million photos and our child was not smiling in even one of them. She just looked kind of like, "where am I? Who are these people? Why are they talking to me? Why am I sitting in this fancy victorian chair. Ooh, christmas tree. Can I eat it?"
One 8x10 costs about $70. One wallet is $11. Um, okay. Was I obligated to buy something just so as not to waste this lady's time? Yes, I felt the need to for god knows why. Not only did I buy one, but I bought about 5 photos that I didn't want just because I thought that's what people do.
And, at the end, she asked if we had the HALF PRICE coupon. Those exist? Well, no, but I found out from one of my "friends" that she had a few coupons and would have given one to us had we told her about our appointment. She claimed that "everyone knows about them, no one actually pays full price for those things!!!"
Why is it that Suk and I are always out of the loop?
Anyway, I was planning to scan a family photo for our Christmas letter, but I also wanted to frame a nice family photo for my mom. Anyway, I found out why it is WAY WAY better to just have photos taken at JCPenneys or Target. You'll save yourself a lot of hassle and money.
Last summer, on a whim, we got Ailin's photo taken at JCPenneys and they turned out really nice. I paid about $60 bucks for several copies in a variety of sizes and poses. Included in that price was a cool collage one that they put together using 5 different poses. Oh my - I did not realize the deal we were getting at that price.
For Christmas, I insisted that we go to Studio Alice, and I made the appointment. Suk seemed like he didn't care either way, but was willing to go along with it for my sake. I had never been to Studio Alice before, but 3 different Japanese friends recommended this particular store because the "photographer" was so good! I had seen their photos, and although they were nice, I noted that they were the "typical" pro photos often taken here in Japan.
Here is a sampling of "typical":
A photo taken when your baby is 100 days old
A photo taken when your child hits 3, 5 or 7 years old - usually in a kimono, but some kids choose to wear a prom dress or wedding dress instead
A birthday photo
Now, mind you, these studios have lots of dresses on the racks for kids to choose from - everything from kimono to bright yellow fluffy prom dresses to bee costumes. You name it, they've got it. And, in the dressing room, a woman fixes the little girls' hair in a fancy updo with bows and flowers - almost every girl's dream!
We showed up in very simple ivory shirts (uniqlo!) and jeans. Ailin was wearing a red dress with an ivory turtleneck underneath. I specifically chose this dress because it is kind of Christmasy. They offered that we look at the costumes anyway to see if there might be something we like better. Um...no, but thanks.
(Oh, and did I mention that we lost her brush, so her hair was a disaster and there was nothing much we could do. Then, I forgot her barrette int he car, and my husband was out getting it when they called us into the studio to start her photos.)
Did the photographer ask us what type of poses or style we were going for? No. Did she ask if we preferred a certain background to another? No. Did she talk to us at all? No.
As luck would have it, Ailin had had a bad night - up wanting to crawl around at 3am - then she and I slept in until 9, so by the time we got to the photo studio, she was ready for her morning nap. How could I have predicted that when I made the appointment weeks ago?
So, in essence, we got to choose from a million photos and our child was not smiling in even one of them. She just looked kind of like, "where am I? Who are these people? Why are they talking to me? Why am I sitting in this fancy victorian chair. Ooh, christmas tree. Can I eat it?"
One 8x10 costs about $70. One wallet is $11. Um, okay. Was I obligated to buy something just so as not to waste this lady's time? Yes, I felt the need to for god knows why. Not only did I buy one, but I bought about 5 photos that I didn't want just because I thought that's what people do.
And, at the end, she asked if we had the HALF PRICE coupon. Those exist? Well, no, but I found out from one of my "friends" that she had a few coupons and would have given one to us had we told her about our appointment. She claimed that "everyone knows about them, no one actually pays full price for those things!!!"
Why is it that Suk and I are always out of the loop?
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Updates
I know I always do this, and it is so lame. Kuri has been keeping up her blog about all her adventures with little Nao. Meanwhile, I have a hard time writing because I want to keep it positive, yet honest. Things are going well right now, so I guess it as good a time as any to write.
Suk and Me
Suk and I came close to throwing in the towel, but decided to try therapy instead. I wish I could say it was massage therapy or something to that effect, but it is your run-of-the-mill marriage counseling type of therapy. He was really reluctant to go because he had this image of some dull politician-type Japanese guy choosing sides and telling the other one to fuck off. We chose the therapist together through the list provided by Tokyo Mental Health Professionals, an organization which refers bilingual and English-speaking therapists from various backgrounds.
It turns out she is a life-saver, extremely intelligent and fairly neutral. And, though I wouldn't say she can take full credit for miracles happening, Suk and I are in a much different place then we were 2 months ago. He has been making some major changes, and I guess I have to (but I always felt like I was making all the changes before), so this makes a big difference.
I really don't want to get into details about such a private issue, but I will say that it has been worth the money in our case. We have to trek all the way to Omotesando in Tokyo (about 1 hour and 15 minutes by train) on Saturdays, leaving Ailin with her Grandma for the afternoon. These afternoons in Omotesando, although they consist of a 15-minute stop off at Starbucks, a one-hour therapy session, and 2 1/2 hours on public transportation, do kind of seem like a date.
Now, we have been prescribed to twice monthly therapy sessions, and gradually, we'll taper down to once a month, and then just once in a while - like when there is a big change in our lives.
Family Activities
For us, I consider it a family activity when the dog is included in our outings. Thus, Suk and I have to find places which accommodate doggies. We have not been too successful on this front because of Suk's level of conservativeness. For example, when we take Max to a park, we cannot let him loose like every other dog owner does. This is partly due to Max's overzealousness. He simply loves people and other dogs and he wants so desperately to make new friends. This is also due to the fact that he seems to be attracted to small children who happen to be playing with bouncy, round objects, like balls.
So far, we have taken Max and Ailin to Mother Farm in Chiba, Inage Seaside Park in our town, the Flower Museum restaurant, Starbucks and other smaller parks in our neighborhood. My goal is to stay at a resort hotel which allows dogs. That is a pretty big goal, actually.
Outings without Max have consisted of Ario shopping mall in Soga, Narita Temple, Roppongi, & Azabujuban. My goal there is to go on more drives to see other parts of Chiba prefecture and perhaps even venture outside of Chiba with the car. I have done this on my own (with Ailin and while I was still pregnant, but shhhh....that's a secret). The goal is to have Suk do the driving.
Ailin's Development
She is 8 1/2 months now. We just celebrated Halloween where I dressed her as an angel. I must have a very high opinion of her.
She enjoys looking at books, playing with her blocks, knocking down any towers that I build, eating anything she picks up like tissues and papers, petting and watching Max, going for walks with Max every day, and attempting to crawl.
Her crawl is more of a sliding backwards type movement. She slides backwards until she gets her feet stuck under the couch or other piece of furniture and then she cries to be rescued.
She eats like a little piggy, loving just about anything I give her. Last week, I went to a seminar to learn how to make baby food, the Japanese way. That was informative, and since then, I have tried several of the recipes - basically things like carrot/spinach/fish mixture, carrot/spinach/chicken mixture, mashed potatoes, etc. All very interesting, but I do often cheat and feed her jarred baby food anyway. She seems to like pretty much anything.
Mama's Free Time
Now that I have chosen her day care for next year, and just have to apply within their application period in December, I am a bit more relaxed, relatively speaking.
From 6:30 am to 8:00 pm, my minutes revolve around entertaining Ailin, watching Ailin, feeding Ailin, preparing Ailin's diaper bag, cleaning up after Ailin, playing with Ailin, preparing Ailin's and my meals, taking dangerous things away from Ailin, dressing Ailin, going out with Ailin, bathing Ailin, etc. You get the picture, anyway. I really marvel at mothers who have more than one child.
During nap times or when she is (thankfully) playing contentedly by herself, I steal a few minutes to do email, search the internet for something, clean up something, use the toilet, put on make up, etc. Granted, this never lasts very long. (Luckily, she really enjoys playing with my make up bottles, so that is a safe thing to do in her presence.)
After Ailin goes to bed, I have to make dinner, eat it, clean up the kitchen, tidy the apartment up, do laundry and then collapse on the couch. Lately, because Suk is making special efforts to come home early and spend time with me, he usually arrives home right about the time I collapse on the couch, so needless to say, I must "cheerily" warm up his dinner, keep him company while he eats, then clean it up. Oh my god...I am just so tired these days.
But, once or twice a week, I make a special effort to do something for myself. For one thing, MIL is more willing to babysit now that Ailin is older, eats baby food and doesn't cry the entire time I am away. So, for a few hours a week, she usually babysits while I sneak out to meet a friend for coffee, get my hair done or just do some errands that take half the amount of time without you-know-who around. My next major goal is to get someone to babysit her so that I can thoroughly mop the floors in our apartment, but I don't want to waste my precious alone time. This is what hired help is for, if only I could afford it.
Also, once or twice a week, I make a very simple dinner for myelf, and I reserve the right to do scrapbooking rather than all the other chores that await me. Right now, I am working on a couple of projects and would like to get a couple more started, so I need some time to concentrate.
That's it for now!
Suk and Me
Suk and I came close to throwing in the towel, but decided to try therapy instead. I wish I could say it was massage therapy or something to that effect, but it is your run-of-the-mill marriage counseling type of therapy. He was really reluctant to go because he had this image of some dull politician-type Japanese guy choosing sides and telling the other one to fuck off. We chose the therapist together through the list provided by Tokyo Mental Health Professionals, an organization which refers bilingual and English-speaking therapists from various backgrounds.
It turns out she is a life-saver, extremely intelligent and fairly neutral. And, though I wouldn't say she can take full credit for miracles happening, Suk and I are in a much different place then we were 2 months ago. He has been making some major changes, and I guess I have to (but I always felt like I was making all the changes before), so this makes a big difference.
I really don't want to get into details about such a private issue, but I will say that it has been worth the money in our case. We have to trek all the way to Omotesando in Tokyo (about 1 hour and 15 minutes by train) on Saturdays, leaving Ailin with her Grandma for the afternoon. These afternoons in Omotesando, although they consist of a 15-minute stop off at Starbucks, a one-hour therapy session, and 2 1/2 hours on public transportation, do kind of seem like a date.
Now, we have been prescribed to twice monthly therapy sessions, and gradually, we'll taper down to once a month, and then just once in a while - like when there is a big change in our lives.
Family Activities
For us, I consider it a family activity when the dog is included in our outings. Thus, Suk and I have to find places which accommodate doggies. We have not been too successful on this front because of Suk's level of conservativeness. For example, when we take Max to a park, we cannot let him loose like every other dog owner does. This is partly due to Max's overzealousness. He simply loves people and other dogs and he wants so desperately to make new friends. This is also due to the fact that he seems to be attracted to small children who happen to be playing with bouncy, round objects, like balls.
So far, we have taken Max and Ailin to Mother Farm in Chiba, Inage Seaside Park in our town, the Flower Museum restaurant, Starbucks and other smaller parks in our neighborhood. My goal is to stay at a resort hotel which allows dogs. That is a pretty big goal, actually.
Outings without Max have consisted of Ario shopping mall in Soga, Narita Temple, Roppongi, & Azabujuban. My goal there is to go on more drives to see other parts of Chiba prefecture and perhaps even venture outside of Chiba with the car. I have done this on my own (with Ailin and while I was still pregnant, but shhhh....that's a secret). The goal is to have Suk do the driving.
Ailin's Development
She is 8 1/2 months now. We just celebrated Halloween where I dressed her as an angel. I must have a very high opinion of her.
She enjoys looking at books, playing with her blocks, knocking down any towers that I build, eating anything she picks up like tissues and papers, petting and watching Max, going for walks with Max every day, and attempting to crawl.
Her crawl is more of a sliding backwards type movement. She slides backwards until she gets her feet stuck under the couch or other piece of furniture and then she cries to be rescued.
She eats like a little piggy, loving just about anything I give her. Last week, I went to a seminar to learn how to make baby food, the Japanese way. That was informative, and since then, I have tried several of the recipes - basically things like carrot/spinach/fish mixture, carrot/spinach/chicken mixture, mashed potatoes, etc. All very interesting, but I do often cheat and feed her jarred baby food anyway. She seems to like pretty much anything.
Mama's Free Time
Now that I have chosen her day care for next year, and just have to apply within their application period in December, I am a bit more relaxed, relatively speaking.
From 6:30 am to 8:00 pm, my minutes revolve around entertaining Ailin, watching Ailin, feeding Ailin, preparing Ailin's diaper bag, cleaning up after Ailin, playing with Ailin, preparing Ailin's and my meals, taking dangerous things away from Ailin, dressing Ailin, going out with Ailin, bathing Ailin, etc. You get the picture, anyway. I really marvel at mothers who have more than one child.
During nap times or when she is (thankfully) playing contentedly by herself, I steal a few minutes to do email, search the internet for something, clean up something, use the toilet, put on make up, etc. Granted, this never lasts very long. (Luckily, she really enjoys playing with my make up bottles, so that is a safe thing to do in her presence.)
After Ailin goes to bed, I have to make dinner, eat it, clean up the kitchen, tidy the apartment up, do laundry and then collapse on the couch. Lately, because Suk is making special efforts to come home early and spend time with me, he usually arrives home right about the time I collapse on the couch, so needless to say, I must "cheerily" warm up his dinner, keep him company while he eats, then clean it up. Oh my god...I am just so tired these days.
But, once or twice a week, I make a special effort to do something for myself. For one thing, MIL is more willing to babysit now that Ailin is older, eats baby food and doesn't cry the entire time I am away. So, for a few hours a week, she usually babysits while I sneak out to meet a friend for coffee, get my hair done or just do some errands that take half the amount of time without you-know-who around. My next major goal is to get someone to babysit her so that I can thoroughly mop the floors in our apartment, but I don't want to waste my precious alone time. This is what hired help is for, if only I could afford it.
Also, once or twice a week, I make a very simple dinner for myelf, and I reserve the right to do scrapbooking rather than all the other chores that await me. Right now, I am working on a couple of projects and would like to get a couple more started, so I need some time to concentrate.
That's it for now!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Neglecting my Blog for Better Things (like Fish and Facebook)
Okay, I admit it. I have been neglecting my blog for FACEBOOK, which is a totally addictive interactive way to communicate with your friends without actually meeting them face to face, because let's face it, that takes way too much energy for the modern person. (How many times can YOU use the face in a sentence?)
Face Face Face Face. I am loving that word, especially when said with a faux french accent - fa-chay, my darling, fa-chay.
Now, I am going to write about something real.
I am getting busier now that Ailin is more mobile and talkative. I am also getting my mind set on going back to work in 5 months, so I am searching a decent day-care center for her. Luckily, in Japan, there are so many to choose from just in our immediate surroundings that the main problem is discerning the slight differences between each one. It keeps me busy, anyhow. I also need to figure out how I am going to make this kid bilingual while working a full time job. It certainly won't happen by dumping her off at day care every day.
Now, I am also working on expanding my reportraire of recipes. I am, in fact, a Martha Stewart addict, but I prefer low-carb cooking, so I usually use a cook book written just for this purpose. Last week, I decided to challenge myself and make fish every day. I bought 5 different types of fish, chose 5 different recipes...and by Friday, I was so sick of fish, I wanted to kill myself. I asked SUK to please, please, please treat me to a grilled-your-own-meat restaurant on Saturday night.
Anyway, here is a list of what I made, in case you ever get the inkling to cook some fish.
Poached salmon with ginger
Tuna with wasabi sauce
Cod with lemon mayo sauce
Louisiana grilled shrimp
Fish with creamy dill sauce
Sometimes, I buy fish but have no idea what kind it is. I choose it because of its color or texture. Most of the time, it really doesn't matter. What matters most is how the fish has been cut up by those fish-cutting people in the back of the store.
I don't think I will necessarily do a Meat Week any time soon, but fish will definitely not show up on the menu for a couple weeks. That is for sure.
Face Face Face Face. I am loving that word, especially when said with a faux french accent - fa-chay, my darling, fa-chay.
Now, I am going to write about something real.
I am getting busier now that Ailin is more mobile and talkative. I am also getting my mind set on going back to work in 5 months, so I am searching a decent day-care center for her. Luckily, in Japan, there are so many to choose from just in our immediate surroundings that the main problem is discerning the slight differences between each one. It keeps me busy, anyhow. I also need to figure out how I am going to make this kid bilingual while working a full time job. It certainly won't happen by dumping her off at day care every day.
Now, I am also working on expanding my reportraire of recipes. I am, in fact, a Martha Stewart addict, but I prefer low-carb cooking, so I usually use a cook book written just for this purpose. Last week, I decided to challenge myself and make fish every day. I bought 5 different types of fish, chose 5 different recipes...and by Friday, I was so sick of fish, I wanted to kill myself. I asked SUK to please, please, please treat me to a grilled-your-own-meat restaurant on Saturday night.
Anyway, here is a list of what I made, in case you ever get the inkling to cook some fish.
Poached salmon with ginger
Tuna with wasabi sauce
Cod with lemon mayo sauce
Louisiana grilled shrimp
Fish with creamy dill sauce
Sometimes, I buy fish but have no idea what kind it is. I choose it because of its color or texture. Most of the time, it really doesn't matter. What matters most is how the fish has been cut up by those fish-cutting people in the back of the store.
I don't think I will necessarily do a Meat Week any time soon, but fish will definitely not show up on the menu for a couple weeks. That is for sure.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
What American Wives in Japan SOMETIMES do
After reading your comments and then worrying about the possibility of the pears rotting in their prettily wrapped box, and then also accidentally running in to the guy who owns that parking spot in the parking lot the other day, I decided to ... gulp ... swallow my pride and go down there bearing gifts for Mr 607 and apologize.
He answered the door in his boxer shorts and a t-shirt and his eyes were all bloodshot even though it was about 2pm. I think he had been sleeping...perhaps he works a night shift somewhere. He actually apologized for writing that nasty note! And, of course, he tried to refuse the gift, but that is so Japanese. He took it anyway...I mean, can you imagine if I had said, "Oh, well if you don't want it, I will gladly use it!"
Anyway, all is well and I called Suk to let him know right away. He was eternally grateful, so this weekend will be payback time in a major way. Haven't decided what I want out of him yet.
Well, I have yet another thing to add to my list of broken items - our washing machine! Now, we need to spend money on that, and soon...laundry piles build up very quickly in our house.
He answered the door in his boxer shorts and a t-shirt and his eyes were all bloodshot even though it was about 2pm. I think he had been sleeping...perhaps he works a night shift somewhere. He actually apologized for writing that nasty note! And, of course, he tried to refuse the gift, but that is so Japanese. He took it anyway...I mean, can you imagine if I had said, "Oh, well if you don't want it, I will gladly use it!"
Anyway, all is well and I called Suk to let him know right away. He was eternally grateful, so this weekend will be payback time in a major way. Haven't decided what I want out of him yet.
Well, I have yet another thing to add to my list of broken items - our washing machine! Now, we need to spend money on that, and soon...laundry piles build up very quickly in our house.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
WHAT JAPANESE WIVES APPARENTLY DO
If Suk knew how to use the phrase "Oops, my bad!" in English, I am sure that he would turn it around to say, "Oops, your bad" every time he does something that he doesn't want to own up to.
The latest thing is that he made a mistake and parked in someone else's spot in our condo's parking lot. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but people pay about $30 a month for their spots, and the parking lot is elevated. This means that there are 4 levels - higher levels are cheaper because you have to wait several minute for the cars to shift over and for your car to come down to the ground level so you can get in it and drive away. It is such a hassle that we decided to pay more for a ground level spot.
Anyway, imagine this. I went out to use the car on Monday morning (to drive HIM to the station, no less!) and there was no car. My jaw dropped as I imagined all kinds of scenerios. Then, I looked up and saw it parked on the top level. When I realized what had happened, I immediately thought back to the previous day's events. I certainly didn't want to be blamed for mis-parking the car!
Fortunately, I had not gone out the day before due to a cold (and nasty pinkeye, but that is another story I have chosen not to tell here, but now you know, I have pinkeye!!!), so I had sent Suk out with my grocery list and he dutifully (if not begrudgingly) picked up all my required vegetables, meats and fishes for my new diet (yet another topic, perhaps). I guessed that he had come back and parked in the wrong spot.
So, while I tried to guess which numbers to punch into the code box so that our car would be brought down, I called Suk to tell him the news. (Did the TV say that Leos would have a bad day that day? Probably.) After two guesses, I got it right and the car did come down to the ground level...with a big note on the windshield. The man from 607 wanted us to contact him because we had parked in his spot and he was unable to park there since yesterday afternoon. Judging from his hastily written note, he was angry. I would be too! There are no other places to park in our neighborhood!!!
At first, I tried to be nice about it. Suk, it's just an honest mistake. I am surprised no one has done that to us before. Don't worry about it. I did that just the other day when I visited my friend's house and I parked in some other guy's spot rather than her husband's spot. I got a big note on the car too, but that was different. I left after 2 hours and it wasn't our condo, so chances were I would never see those people again. (and, I'm a foreigner so we are allowed a certain number of mistakes seeing as how we "can't read" or "can't speak" or "just don't understand Japanese culture."
Speaking of Japanese culture, Suk announced that we would have to go to their place, greet them and present them with a gift. I suggested he pick something up in Ginza and go and apologize to Mr 607 that evening after work. No, Suk insisted, this is the wife's job. As a wife, you must buy the present and go there and explain that your husband parked in the wrong spot. When I balked at this suggestion, he started to explain that this is how it's done in Japan, and that if I were Japanese, I would do this with no hesitation because THAT IS WHAT JAPANESE WIVES DO. (This is not in caps to represent yelling, it is in caps to show my disgust for something this is so often said to we who are not Japanese wives.) Of course, I refused because this was HIS mistake, not mine and he needed to deal with it. I would buy the present and have it gift wrapped, but that was it. (He told me it had to be seasonal fruit.)
That night he got home too late to go and see Mr 607. (In fact, he got home so late that I was already in bed, and he had forgotten in keys, so he was calling/ringing the doorbell repeatedly, but it took about 30 minutes for me to wake up and realize this, so like I said, Leos were having a bad day!) The next morning, I asked him if he would go, and he explained that people never do apologizing or greeting in the morning. Evening (early evening) is better and that is precisely why THE WIFE needs to do it. Um, no, not falling for that one. I told him that since it is seasonal fruit, he would have to get it to them sooner rather than later.
Okay, so do Japanese pears (nashi) taste good in fruit smoothies? I am just wondering because I have a feeling that I will be eating the entire box myself!
The latest thing is that he made a mistake and parked in someone else's spot in our condo's parking lot. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but people pay about $30 a month for their spots, and the parking lot is elevated. This means that there are 4 levels - higher levels are cheaper because you have to wait several minute for the cars to shift over and for your car to come down to the ground level so you can get in it and drive away. It is such a hassle that we decided to pay more for a ground level spot.
Anyway, imagine this. I went out to use the car on Monday morning (to drive HIM to the station, no less!) and there was no car. My jaw dropped as I imagined all kinds of scenerios. Then, I looked up and saw it parked on the top level. When I realized what had happened, I immediately thought back to the previous day's events. I certainly didn't want to be blamed for mis-parking the car!
Fortunately, I had not gone out the day before due to a cold (and nasty pinkeye, but that is another story I have chosen not to tell here, but now you know, I have pinkeye!!!), so I had sent Suk out with my grocery list and he dutifully (if not begrudgingly) picked up all my required vegetables, meats and fishes for my new diet (yet another topic, perhaps). I guessed that he had come back and parked in the wrong spot.
So, while I tried to guess which numbers to punch into the code box so that our car would be brought down, I called Suk to tell him the news. (Did the TV say that Leos would have a bad day that day? Probably.) After two guesses, I got it right and the car did come down to the ground level...with a big note on the windshield. The man from 607 wanted us to contact him because we had parked in his spot and he was unable to park there since yesterday afternoon. Judging from his hastily written note, he was angry. I would be too! There are no other places to park in our neighborhood!!!
At first, I tried to be nice about it. Suk, it's just an honest mistake. I am surprised no one has done that to us before. Don't worry about it. I did that just the other day when I visited my friend's house and I parked in some other guy's spot rather than her husband's spot. I got a big note on the car too, but that was different. I left after 2 hours and it wasn't our condo, so chances were I would never see those people again. (and, I'm a foreigner so we are allowed a certain number of mistakes seeing as how we "can't read" or "can't speak" or "just don't understand Japanese culture."
Speaking of Japanese culture, Suk announced that we would have to go to their place, greet them and present them with a gift. I suggested he pick something up in Ginza and go and apologize to Mr 607 that evening after work. No, Suk insisted, this is the wife's job. As a wife, you must buy the present and go there and explain that your husband parked in the wrong spot. When I balked at this suggestion, he started to explain that this is how it's done in Japan, and that if I were Japanese, I would do this with no hesitation because THAT IS WHAT JAPANESE WIVES DO. (This is not in caps to represent yelling, it is in caps to show my disgust for something this is so often said to we who are not Japanese wives.) Of course, I refused because this was HIS mistake, not mine and he needed to deal with it. I would buy the present and have it gift wrapped, but that was it. (He told me it had to be seasonal fruit.)
That night he got home too late to go and see Mr 607. (In fact, he got home so late that I was already in bed, and he had forgotten in keys, so he was calling/ringing the doorbell repeatedly, but it took about 30 minutes for me to wake up and realize this, so like I said, Leos were having a bad day!) The next morning, I asked him if he would go, and he explained that people never do apologizing or greeting in the morning. Evening (early evening) is better and that is precisely why THE WIFE needs to do it. Um, no, not falling for that one. I told him that since it is seasonal fruit, he would have to get it to them sooner rather than later.
Okay, so do Japanese pears (nashi) taste good in fruit smoothies? I am just wondering because I have a feeling that I will be eating the entire box myself!
Friday, August 24, 2007
To Do Lists
Today my mom emailed me to tell me that my dad misses me since I left a couple weeks ago. She also said that he commented on how he misses all the stuff I had going on around me while I stayed there. By this, I guess he means all the 10 million things I seemed to be doing at any given moment.
I have an A-type personality and can't stop myself from making obsessive to-do lists which have 3 columns. One column is for shopping. One column is for things I have to do. The third is for people I must contact in the near future. Once in a while, I forget to put something on the to-do list, so I after I have done something slightly significant (like, "Clean out refridgerator"), I will actually go back to my list, write it in, and then check it off. I just like the satisfaction of checking it off.
So, updating my blog and writing about my trip back home along with several other topics I have been mulling over is definitely an item on my to-do list, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. I still have other more pressing things to do. Here's a sampling:
Clean used baby toy with toothbrush
Organize files/documents/paperwork in new file cabinet (hey, we finally bought a file cabinet so maybe I won't lose documents anymore!)
Update scrapbooking blog
Clean Max's ears
Convince Suk to help me put up artwork that I bought in the USA (he is refusing to drill holes in our cement walls...need to keep working on him.)
Clean and organize scrapbooking area
Finish Ailin's album - section for 3-6 months
Plan Ailin's album - section for 6-9 months
Email recent photos of Ailin to friends and family
It keeps going from there. So, now you know why I haven't gotten around to writing about my trip with Ailin to the States.
I have an A-type personality and can't stop myself from making obsessive to-do lists which have 3 columns. One column is for shopping. One column is for things I have to do. The third is for people I must contact in the near future. Once in a while, I forget to put something on the to-do list, so I after I have done something slightly significant (like, "Clean out refridgerator"), I will actually go back to my list, write it in, and then check it off. I just like the satisfaction of checking it off.
So, updating my blog and writing about my trip back home along with several other topics I have been mulling over is definitely an item on my to-do list, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. I still have other more pressing things to do. Here's a sampling:
Clean used baby toy with toothbrush
Organize files/documents/paperwork in new file cabinet (hey, we finally bought a file cabinet so maybe I won't lose documents anymore!)
Update scrapbooking blog
Clean Max's ears
Convince Suk to help me put up artwork that I bought in the USA (he is refusing to drill holes in our cement walls...need to keep working on him.)
Clean and organize scrapbooking area
Finish Ailin's album - section for 3-6 months
Plan Ailin's album - section for 6-9 months
Email recent photos of Ailin to friends and family
It keeps going from there. So, now you know why I haven't gotten around to writing about my trip with Ailin to the States.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Adult Plus Infant
It's always hit or miss with American Airlines. This time, I traveled back to the USA and stayed for nearly one month. A good thing when traveling with an infant. I had some time to recover before getting back on a plane.
Actually, it wasn't that bad. Ailin is only 5-6 months old, so kind of immobile. She is happiest as long as her mama and milk supply are within reach, so she barely cried on the plane or at the airport! I had been so nervous before the trip, but after a few hours on the plane, I realized that she couldn't have been happier.
On the way to USA, the flight attendants were so nice and sweet. No, no one offered to hold her while I go to the bathroom or eat my meal, but they were accommodating just the same. During the first meal service, I had put Ailin in her bassinette (provided by the airline) and received my meal, but it soon became apparent that she would not be patient until I finished eating. So I returned the meal and they offered to save it until later. After the meal service was over and I was able to settle her down to sleep, they brought me a brand new meal!
The way back to Japan was another story though. I was initially assigned a seat in the middle of a middle row. I didn't realize this until I was about to get on the plane. The machine wouldn't process my boarding pass. They realized it was because my pass said "Plus Infant." So, they issued a new boarding pass. Meanwhile, the flight attendant who had taken my passports had set them down behind her. She gave me the new boarding pass, but not the passports. Luckily, I realized this just after I walked away and I went back to retrieve them. I found them sitting on the ledge behind her and I tapped her on the shoulder to let her know I was taking (my own) passports, and her attitude was like, "Yeah, I put them there for you." Well, lady, aren't these documents pretty important? A little too important for you to flippantly set them on a ledge behind you and not give them back to me? Anyone could have reached them and taken them. I wanted to say this, but didn't.
Inside the airplane, the flight attendants in my section were quite the pair. An older woman who seemed to be trying very hard to be kind. Oh, she was nice, all right. I have no complaints about her. But, her partner was the clumsiest guy I had ever seen. He would ram his cart up and down the aisles (I was so afraid that Ailin's head would be bashed in were she to be nursing on my right side with her head slightly jutting out into the aisle. I always made sure to lean way left and protect her head when I heard him coming, with or without his cart.) He ran over his poor partner's foot with the cart once and she nearly died from the pain of it. I could see it on her face as she said, "Ow....oh...it's okay." as she gave him the look of death. Then, it so happened that their extra stash of beverages, hot water and coffee were in a little cubicle in front of my seat. So, Ailin was in her bassinette next to this cubicle, which makes a lot of noise when you slam the door. Klutzy Guy made sure to slam it each time. I was so afraid that he would spill hot tea or coffee on my Ailin's head as she lay sleeping.
And, the worst incident of scariness due to Klutzy Guy. We hit turbulance during the food service and the seat belt sign went on. The pilot announced that all flight attendants pause food service, take their seats and buckle up. So, what does Klutzy Guy do? He parks his cart in the space in front of my seat with the trays facing me and he runs off! My mouth dropped open and I looked at the couple sitting across the aisle from me and the woman said, "Wow, that seems incredibly dangerous." Luckily, KG came back to properly retrieve his cart.
Note to self: Bulkhead seats are great when you travel with a child but only if they are not near the bathrooms.
Okay, more about my trip in the next post. Photos to come.
Actually, it wasn't that bad. Ailin is only 5-6 months old, so kind of immobile. She is happiest as long as her mama and milk supply are within reach, so she barely cried on the plane or at the airport! I had been so nervous before the trip, but after a few hours on the plane, I realized that she couldn't have been happier.
On the way to USA, the flight attendants were so nice and sweet. No, no one offered to hold her while I go to the bathroom or eat my meal, but they were accommodating just the same. During the first meal service, I had put Ailin in her bassinette (provided by the airline) and received my meal, but it soon became apparent that she would not be patient until I finished eating. So I returned the meal and they offered to save it until later. After the meal service was over and I was able to settle her down to sleep, they brought me a brand new meal!
The way back to Japan was another story though. I was initially assigned a seat in the middle of a middle row. I didn't realize this until I was about to get on the plane. The machine wouldn't process my boarding pass. They realized it was because my pass said "Plus Infant." So, they issued a new boarding pass. Meanwhile, the flight attendant who had taken my passports had set them down behind her. She gave me the new boarding pass, but not the passports. Luckily, I realized this just after I walked away and I went back to retrieve them. I found them sitting on the ledge behind her and I tapped her on the shoulder to let her know I was taking (my own) passports, and her attitude was like, "Yeah, I put them there for you." Well, lady, aren't these documents pretty important? A little too important for you to flippantly set them on a ledge behind you and not give them back to me? Anyone could have reached them and taken them. I wanted to say this, but didn't.
Inside the airplane, the flight attendants in my section were quite the pair. An older woman who seemed to be trying very hard to be kind. Oh, she was nice, all right. I have no complaints about her. But, her partner was the clumsiest guy I had ever seen. He would ram his cart up and down the aisles (I was so afraid that Ailin's head would be bashed in were she to be nursing on my right side with her head slightly jutting out into the aisle. I always made sure to lean way left and protect her head when I heard him coming, with or without his cart.) He ran over his poor partner's foot with the cart once and she nearly died from the pain of it. I could see it on her face as she said, "Ow....oh...it's okay." as she gave him the look of death. Then, it so happened that their extra stash of beverages, hot water and coffee were in a little cubicle in front of my seat. So, Ailin was in her bassinette next to this cubicle, which makes a lot of noise when you slam the door. Klutzy Guy made sure to slam it each time. I was so afraid that he would spill hot tea or coffee on my Ailin's head as she lay sleeping.
And, the worst incident of scariness due to Klutzy Guy. We hit turbulance during the food service and the seat belt sign went on. The pilot announced that all flight attendants pause food service, take their seats and buckle up. So, what does Klutzy Guy do? He parks his cart in the space in front of my seat with the trays facing me and he runs off! My mouth dropped open and I looked at the couple sitting across the aisle from me and the woman said, "Wow, that seems incredibly dangerous." Luckily, KG came back to properly retrieve his cart.
Note to self: Bulkhead seats are great when you travel with a child but only if they are not near the bathrooms.
Okay, more about my trip in the next post. Photos to come.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Feeling Down
Thanks to those who commented about Ailin's photo. I am enjoying this time with her, and I didn't realize how much life would change with a baby. In most ways, these are good (great!) changes, so I am not complaining. I just wish I could get through my lunch at a restaurant without ... you know what I mean ... I just wish I could get through a whole meal sometimes.
Okay, this title is Feeling Down because in Japanese, they use the word "down" to describe feelings of slight depression...especially after a series of unfortunate events. This is exactly how I feel, and it sort of came to a peak today. Here is my list of events that contributed to my feeling down.
1. Our stroller was slightly broken and had to be sent back to the manufacturer. When we got it back a few weeks later, there was a note with a long explanation and illustrations describing how we had been using the stroller incorrectly. I guess it pays to read directions, even for something as mundane as a stroller. (We had lost the directions immediately after buying the stroller though!)
2. Our digital camera broke and had to be sent back to Canon. At first, we were told it would take 3 weeks and 14,000 yen to fix, but then we were able to prove that our warranty was still good and they fixed it for free. (We had lost the warranty somewhere along the way!)
3. Our car was recalled - no big deal - but it had to go in the shop for a couple of days. I still don't really understand what the problem was.
4. My computer totally and utterly crashed. I guess my iTunes was getting inundated with episodes of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I didn't realize it. My hard disk became too full to function properly and I had to have everything cleared out and reinstalled. Fortunately, my files were saved, but it took 2 weeks to get it working. The guys down at PC Depot kept treating me like an idiot, but finally on the 3rd trip to the store lugging my computer and baby with me, they finally went ahead and did what I was asking them to from the beginning. I hated living without a computer for 2 weeks, and this is partly what prompted me to start blogging again.
5. My husband offered to buy a new cell phone for me - one that can be used for international calls as well. At the cell phone store, they attempted to take my old phone and transfer the phone book info to the new phone, but it broke mid-transfer and so they suggested I enter the info by hand later. When I got home, I found that my old phone couldn't be turned on at all, so I had lost all of my contacts' phone numbers! It's not like I had written anyone's numbers down!
6. And, the most recent of events - yesterday, I was driving through an intersection when a small child kicked a stone and it just happened to hit the windshield of my car. He was about 6, judging from his size, elementary school-style back pack and his apparent lack of understanding about what he had done. He was with 3 friends, and I could tell he hadn't done it on purpose. I got out of the car to confront them, but I neglected to ask him his full name, address, phone number, school's name, etc. It crossed my mind that he probably didn't know this information himself, or if he did, he had been taught not to tell it to strangers. However, after the fact, I have thought of several ways I could have handled the situation. However, I had stopped the car in kind of a bad place on the road and Ailin was asleep in her car seat. I couldn't leave the scene to follow the kid home and talk to his mom or force him to take me back to his school so I could speak with the teacher. It was terrible luck, really. The windshield is now cracked.
It dawned on me after this incident that although I had been able to handle the first 5 cases with relative ease - everything was fixed with no problem, apt cooperation from Suk, and I had a chance to demonstate my Japanese skills in a variety of situations. However, this last one left me feeling paralyzed. I realized that I don't know how to call the police, I didn't know how to describe the street corner we were on, and I wouldn't have known how to describe the situation to the police over the phone. I also didn't know exactly how to talk to the young child - which words do they understand? How polite do I have to be? What would be appropriate to say to him? And, if I had gotten into an accident with another car, I would definitely not know what to do, how to call the insurance co., how to describe anything. The whole incident left me quite humbled.
7. And, this is not related to electronics, but I have not been able to lose the pregnancy weight. All of my friends have been able to lose it already, but Ailin is almost 5 months, and I am as fat as ever...and getting fatter. I only have two pairs of pants - one pair is maternity pants - that I can wear, and I have to wear very large, loose-fitting t-shirts. I often ask Suk why the weight won't go away, and his response is usually something like "It's because you eat fatty, greasy foods all the time. Those other women are probably eating very healthily." or "It's because you don't exercise. You should take up jogging or something."
Frankly, I don't see how that can happen...the jogging thing I mean. My right foot hurts like hell, and I can't even sit in certain positions without getting these shooting pains up my foot. So, I am considering getting a pool membership somewhere and going for aqua-aerobics, but then I have to find someone to care for Ailin during these times. Not an easy task.
As for the eating fatty, greasy foods...no, I do not eat these types of foods constantly. Okay, I do/did have a daily craving for chocolate and coke, but that was it! His theory was blown out of the water today when I went out to eat lunch with a mom frmo my playgroup. She seems to be back down her pre-preggers weight as she is totally skinny! For lunch, guess what she ate?! Three donuts from Mr Donuts. That's it. This was her "lunch", not a snack! Meanwhile, I couldn't even get through my bowl of chilled udon noodles because Ailin was screaming her head off.
Okay, this title is Feeling Down because in Japanese, they use the word "down" to describe feelings of slight depression...especially after a series of unfortunate events. This is exactly how I feel, and it sort of came to a peak today. Here is my list of events that contributed to my feeling down.
1. Our stroller was slightly broken and had to be sent back to the manufacturer. When we got it back a few weeks later, there was a note with a long explanation and illustrations describing how we had been using the stroller incorrectly. I guess it pays to read directions, even for something as mundane as a stroller. (We had lost the directions immediately after buying the stroller though!)
2. Our digital camera broke and had to be sent back to Canon. At first, we were told it would take 3 weeks and 14,000 yen to fix, but then we were able to prove that our warranty was still good and they fixed it for free. (We had lost the warranty somewhere along the way!)
3. Our car was recalled - no big deal - but it had to go in the shop for a couple of days. I still don't really understand what the problem was.
4. My computer totally and utterly crashed. I guess my iTunes was getting inundated with episodes of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I didn't realize it. My hard disk became too full to function properly and I had to have everything cleared out and reinstalled. Fortunately, my files were saved, but it took 2 weeks to get it working. The guys down at PC Depot kept treating me like an idiot, but finally on the 3rd trip to the store lugging my computer and baby with me, they finally went ahead and did what I was asking them to from the beginning. I hated living without a computer for 2 weeks, and this is partly what prompted me to start blogging again.
5. My husband offered to buy a new cell phone for me - one that can be used for international calls as well. At the cell phone store, they attempted to take my old phone and transfer the phone book info to the new phone, but it broke mid-transfer and so they suggested I enter the info by hand later. When I got home, I found that my old phone couldn't be turned on at all, so I had lost all of my contacts' phone numbers! It's not like I had written anyone's numbers down!
6. And, the most recent of events - yesterday, I was driving through an intersection when a small child kicked a stone and it just happened to hit the windshield of my car. He was about 6, judging from his size, elementary school-style back pack and his apparent lack of understanding about what he had done. He was with 3 friends, and I could tell he hadn't done it on purpose. I got out of the car to confront them, but I neglected to ask him his full name, address, phone number, school's name, etc. It crossed my mind that he probably didn't know this information himself, or if he did, he had been taught not to tell it to strangers. However, after the fact, I have thought of several ways I could have handled the situation. However, I had stopped the car in kind of a bad place on the road and Ailin was asleep in her car seat. I couldn't leave the scene to follow the kid home and talk to his mom or force him to take me back to his school so I could speak with the teacher. It was terrible luck, really. The windshield is now cracked.
It dawned on me after this incident that although I had been able to handle the first 5 cases with relative ease - everything was fixed with no problem, apt cooperation from Suk, and I had a chance to demonstate my Japanese skills in a variety of situations. However, this last one left me feeling paralyzed. I realized that I don't know how to call the police, I didn't know how to describe the street corner we were on, and I wouldn't have known how to describe the situation to the police over the phone. I also didn't know exactly how to talk to the young child - which words do they understand? How polite do I have to be? What would be appropriate to say to him? And, if I had gotten into an accident with another car, I would definitely not know what to do, how to call the insurance co., how to describe anything. The whole incident left me quite humbled.
7. And, this is not related to electronics, but I have not been able to lose the pregnancy weight. All of my friends have been able to lose it already, but Ailin is almost 5 months, and I am as fat as ever...and getting fatter. I only have two pairs of pants - one pair is maternity pants - that I can wear, and I have to wear very large, loose-fitting t-shirts. I often ask Suk why the weight won't go away, and his response is usually something like "It's because you eat fatty, greasy foods all the time. Those other women are probably eating very healthily." or "It's because you don't exercise. You should take up jogging or something."
Frankly, I don't see how that can happen...the jogging thing I mean. My right foot hurts like hell, and I can't even sit in certain positions without getting these shooting pains up my foot. So, I am considering getting a pool membership somewhere and going for aqua-aerobics, but then I have to find someone to care for Ailin during these times. Not an easy task.
As for the eating fatty, greasy foods...no, I do not eat these types of foods constantly. Okay, I do/did have a daily craving for chocolate and coke, but that was it! His theory was blown out of the water today when I went out to eat lunch with a mom frmo my playgroup. She seems to be back down her pre-preggers weight as she is totally skinny! For lunch, guess what she ate?! Three donuts from Mr Donuts. That's it. This was her "lunch", not a snack! Meanwhile, I couldn't even get through my bowl of chilled udon noodles because Ailin was screaming her head off.
Martha Stewart Almost Saved My Marriage
I actually have something more pressing to write about, but this title has been knocking around in my head for days now.
I admit...I am a sucker for Martha Stewart's TV shows. They are shown on LaLa channel here, both her old one from the early 90's (pre-scandel) and the current one which began to air after she became a free-bird. Anyway, I love both for different reasons, and Suk sometimes comments on my hankering for Martha and her housewifey show.
Then, one day, for the first time, I made one of her recipes. I was just watching her make roast chicken with some young buck who had graduated from Yale (who now has his own show), and it looked easy so that night, I attempted to make the same thing.
Since then, Suk has been requesting "Martha-style" dinners. I didn't think pleasing him would be easy! And for days, I was on a high thinking that Martha Stewart saved my marriage, but then the inevitable happened.
I made roast chicken the following week, and it didn't turn out quite as good. Of course, keep in mind that he was eating it for breakfast since he had come home too late the night before. The chicken was dry and not quite as good. He didn't even eat all of it. I was disappointed, but haven't lost hope.
Now, Martha's web site is bookmarked at the top of my browser, so I can check for recipes every couple of days. (Not every day...mind you...you think I'm crazy?)
I admit...I am a sucker for Martha Stewart's TV shows. They are shown on LaLa channel here, both her old one from the early 90's (pre-scandel) and the current one which began to air after she became a free-bird. Anyway, I love both for different reasons, and Suk sometimes comments on my hankering for Martha and her housewifey show.
Then, one day, for the first time, I made one of her recipes. I was just watching her make roast chicken with some young buck who had graduated from Yale (who now has his own show), and it looked easy so that night, I attempted to make the same thing.
Since then, Suk has been requesting "Martha-style" dinners. I didn't think pleasing him would be easy! And for days, I was on a high thinking that Martha Stewart saved my marriage, but then the inevitable happened.
I made roast chicken the following week, and it didn't turn out quite as good. Of course, keep in mind that he was eating it for breakfast since he had come home too late the night before. The chicken was dry and not quite as good. He didn't even eat all of it. I was disappointed, but haven't lost hope.
Now, Martha's web site is bookmarked at the top of my browser, so I can check for recipes every couple of days. (Not every day...mind you...you think I'm crazy?)
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Update
Ailin at 4 Months Old
Since I haven't written much in so long, I will start with an update.
My daughter, Ailin, was born on February 15. She was two weeks early, but there were no complications and it was a completely natural delivery. (7 1/2 hours from start to finish, in case you were wondering.) She is a nice little baby - we were lucky to have an easy time with breastfeeding, at least. I felt blessed to have an easy baby after enduring such a hard marriage these past few years. I doubt I could have handled a really colicky baby and post partum depression on top of a difficult home life.
These days, at almost 5 months old, she is going to bed at 7:30 pm, so that leaves me some free time in the evenings to do my own thing. During the day though, she keeps me pretty busy. All household chores must be done in her presence or we have to listen to "complaining". I recently bought a bumbo chair so she can sit in it and watch me while I hang laundry or clean up the kitchen, but even that doesn't last too long. We try to go out at least once a day, and of course we take the dog for a walk every morning.
Today, we went to the Flower Museum, and she seemed to enjoy looking at all the colors of flowers. We also stopped at my workplace to visit them. They always enjoy seeing Ailin and of course, the high school kids go nuts over her.
In the afternoons, we try to nap together on the couch with Max. Max lies in the crook of my knees while she lies next to my chest so she can nurse herself to sleep. It works out well, and I either watch TV, read or sleep during these quiet times of the day.
But at around 4pm, she wakes up from her nap and I try to fend off "witching hour" by keeping her thoroughly entertained until her bathtime at 6:30. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We used to go for walks with Max at this time of the day, but since summer hit, it is too hot at that time of the day to go outside. I am also pretty tired by that time, I have to admit.
At night, she goes to sleep around 7:30, but then starts to wake up from 11pm or 12am on. She wakes every 2 or 3 hours and nurses back to sleep. So, in order to get enough sleep myself, we bring her to bed with us from about 1 or 2 am and she nurses whenever she needs to during the night.
Ailin has made a few friends already...actually I have made a few friends who just happen to have babies around the same age. Lani, a Canadian friend, and I started a playgroup in our area and we meet once a week. So far, there are only 5 members in this group, but we plan to expand in August. I love the women in the group even though they are Japanese and we have to communicate mostly in Japanese. It is good practice for us, at least. And, we can get a lot of information from them that we otherwise would not be privy to. In any case, starting this group was a great idea.
Ailin and I are going back to the USA next week for about one month. We will stay with my parents in Wisconsin most of the time, but then we are going to Colorado for Shannon's wedding for about 1 week. Going on this trip is nervewracking enough since Ailin and I are traveling alone, but Suk (my husband) is really resentful of the fact that we are going. So, every chance he gets to complain about it, he goes on and on about what a horrible thing I am doing. Well, in any case, I am really looking forward to introducing Ailin to her American family and to participating in Shannon's wedding.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
New Directions
Now it is July...finally. I thought this month would never come. My birthday is this Saturday and I am turning 31. I am trying to convince my husband to allow me to commandeer my birthday plans since I always have to share the celebration with MIL whose birthday is one day before mine. Anyway, SIL used to plan these events and make all the arrangements, but since getting married, she no longer takes part in these piddly family - only the big ones like New Years. Rather than have a half-assed, last minute plan, I think I would like to make the arrangements myself. Oh, am I sounding bitter again?
Okay, well, let me explain. My last entry in this blog was in February, and I hadn't been writing much in the 2 months before that. I made the decision to take a break from blogging due to the faltering state of my marriage. A friend or two commented on how bitter I was sounding in my blogs, and I was slightly taken aback. Did I sound bitter? I was trying to find the humor in my unfortunate situations, but I guess it wasn't working. So, on that note, I abruptly stopped writing so that I could concentrate on improving my marriage.
I won't get into detail, but one of my tasks was to get MIL on my side rather than constantly allowing myself to be played against her. The other was to work on my reactions to him, and in other words, attempt to cultivate a calm, soothing environment rather than a volitile and bitter one. Sounds easy, right? No, we still have a long ways to go, but I am happy to announce that things are improving.
And, meanwhile, I kept getting the question from friends and family and readers, "what happened to your blog?" I wanted to start writing again, but if I can't write about my bitter-sweet problems, than what the hell do I write about??? So, I had to consider taking the blog in new direction. While updating friends and family about my life here, I still want to have a slightly entertaining blog. Though I have weighed several different options for directions, nothing spectacular comes to mind.
Here are some options I was considering:
1. My daughter's daily activities.
(boring...all she does is eat, sleep, cry, poop, play with her toys or with my face, smile her adorable smile and do the whole thing over again.)
2. My thoughts on Japan and life here
(not much to say...I have surrounded myself with everything American...my apartment has no tatami, I only listen to American music and radio stations, I hang out at Starbucks and go shopping at Costco and Ikea. How much more American can you get?)
3. A diary from my dog's perspective
(hard....I am already doing this in Japanese on a mixi. (Mixi is the Japanese version of blogger only way cooler.) It is not the easiest topic for a blog.)
4. My Daily Life in Japan...only less bitter
(this might be doable, and that is a big MIGHT. I don't want to seem like I am bragging here, but every day has some bitterness to it, and it would be hard to keep it out of this blog.)
Any thoughts? Anyone still there?
Okay, well, let me explain. My last entry in this blog was in February, and I hadn't been writing much in the 2 months before that. I made the decision to take a break from blogging due to the faltering state of my marriage. A friend or two commented on how bitter I was sounding in my blogs, and I was slightly taken aback. Did I sound bitter? I was trying to find the humor in my unfortunate situations, but I guess it wasn't working. So, on that note, I abruptly stopped writing so that I could concentrate on improving my marriage.
I won't get into detail, but one of my tasks was to get MIL on my side rather than constantly allowing myself to be played against her. The other was to work on my reactions to him, and in other words, attempt to cultivate a calm, soothing environment rather than a volitile and bitter one. Sounds easy, right? No, we still have a long ways to go, but I am happy to announce that things are improving.
And, meanwhile, I kept getting the question from friends and family and readers, "what happened to your blog?" I wanted to start writing again, but if I can't write about my bitter-sweet problems, than what the hell do I write about??? So, I had to consider taking the blog in new direction. While updating friends and family about my life here, I still want to have a slightly entertaining blog. Though I have weighed several different options for directions, nothing spectacular comes to mind.
Here are some options I was considering:
1. My daughter's daily activities.
(boring...all she does is eat, sleep, cry, poop, play with her toys or with my face, smile her adorable smile and do the whole thing over again.)
2. My thoughts on Japan and life here
(not much to say...I have surrounded myself with everything American...my apartment has no tatami, I only listen to American music and radio stations, I hang out at Starbucks and go shopping at Costco and Ikea. How much more American can you get?)
3. A diary from my dog's perspective
(hard....I am already doing this in Japanese on a mixi. (Mixi is the Japanese version of blogger only way cooler.) It is not the easiest topic for a blog.)
4. My Daily Life in Japan...only less bitter
(this might be doable, and that is a big MIGHT. I don't want to seem like I am bragging here, but every day has some bitterness to it, and it would be hard to keep it out of this blog.)
Any thoughts? Anyone still there?
Friday, January 12, 2007
Titles that would be of interest to the common woman
First, I must say that I just finished reading the book called "The Bitch in the House". One day after finishing it, I was paging through my Glamour magazine when I came across an article entitled "The Seven Levels of Love" with subtitles such as "Infatuation", "Free-fallin'", "Getting Emotionally Naked", "Call it ESP", "Breathing Room", "The Second Fall", and "As Good as it Gets".
Now, I did not bother to read this article, even the first paragraph. Why? Because I was too busy puking on my shoes.
Puh-lease!!!
I cannot remember the last time I felt any of these feelings for my husband of five years. This is not to say that I do not love him or that I want to get a divorce. But, I want to suggest some titles that would be of interest to people like me.
"How To Ignore Your Husband...Just Like He Ignores You."
"How To Get What You Want Without Having to Beg For It."
"What Makes a Man Think He Knows Everything When Actually He Doesn't Even Have a Clue."
"Giving a Man a Clue"
"Saying 'Uh huh, you're right' and Then Going and Doing What You Want To Anyway."
"Making Sure Your Man Doesn't Find Out What You Have Been Up To"
and finally...
"How To Sacrifice Your Need for Justification Without Sacrificing Your Dignity"
(Folks, as I write this, I am not in an angry or even a mildy irritated mood. This particular post is meant to make your nod your heads only...not to worry or fret over MandeJ's current situation. Don't we all feel this way sometimes? Oh come on...even you couples who claim to have never fought about anything...it never crossed your mind that your mate perhaps was clueless about something?)
Now, I did not bother to read this article, even the first paragraph. Why? Because I was too busy puking on my shoes.
Puh-lease!!!
I cannot remember the last time I felt any of these feelings for my husband of five years. This is not to say that I do not love him or that I want to get a divorce. But, I want to suggest some titles that would be of interest to people like me.
"How To Ignore Your Husband...Just Like He Ignores You."
"How To Get What You Want Without Having to Beg For It."
"What Makes a Man Think He Knows Everything When Actually He Doesn't Even Have a Clue."
"Giving a Man a Clue"
"Saying 'Uh huh, you're right' and Then Going and Doing What You Want To Anyway."
"Making Sure Your Man Doesn't Find Out What You Have Been Up To"
and finally...
"How To Sacrifice Your Need for Justification Without Sacrificing Your Dignity"
(Folks, as I write this, I am not in an angry or even a mildy irritated mood. This particular post is meant to make your nod your heads only...not to worry or fret over MandeJ's current situation. Don't we all feel this way sometimes? Oh come on...even you couples who claim to have never fought about anything...it never crossed your mind that your mate perhaps was clueless about something?)
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