Tuesday, August 28, 2007

WHAT JAPANESE WIVES APPARENTLY DO

If Suk knew how to use the phrase "Oops, my bad!" in English, I am sure that he would turn it around to say, "Oops, your bad" every time he does something that he doesn't want to own up to.

The latest thing is that he made a mistake and parked in someone else's spot in our condo's parking lot. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but people pay about $30 a month for their spots, and the parking lot is elevated. This means that there are 4 levels - higher levels are cheaper because you have to wait several minute for the cars to shift over and for your car to come down to the ground level so you can get in it and drive away. It is such a hassle that we decided to pay more for a ground level spot.

Anyway, imagine this. I went out to use the car on Monday morning (to drive HIM to the station, no less!) and there was no car. My jaw dropped as I imagined all kinds of scenerios. Then, I looked up and saw it parked on the top level. When I realized what had happened, I immediately thought back to the previous day's events. I certainly didn't want to be blamed for mis-parking the car!

Fortunately, I had not gone out the day before due to a cold (and nasty pinkeye, but that is another story I have chosen not to tell here, but now you know, I have pinkeye!!!), so I had sent Suk out with my grocery list and he dutifully (if not begrudgingly) picked up all my required vegetables, meats and fishes for my new diet (yet another topic, perhaps). I guessed that he had come back and parked in the wrong spot.

So, while I tried to guess which numbers to punch into the code box so that our car would be brought down, I called Suk to tell him the news. (Did the TV say that Leos would have a bad day that day? Probably.) After two guesses, I got it right and the car did come down to the ground level...with a big note on the windshield. The man from 607 wanted us to contact him because we had parked in his spot and he was unable to park there since yesterday afternoon. Judging from his hastily written note, he was angry. I would be too! There are no other places to park in our neighborhood!!!

At first, I tried to be nice about it. Suk, it's just an honest mistake. I am surprised no one has done that to us before. Don't worry about it. I did that just the other day when I visited my friend's house and I parked in some other guy's spot rather than her husband's spot. I got a big note on the car too, but that was different. I left after 2 hours and it wasn't our condo, so chances were I would never see those people again. (and, I'm a foreigner so we are allowed a certain number of mistakes seeing as how we "can't read" or "can't speak" or "just don't understand Japanese culture."

Speaking of Japanese culture, Suk announced that we would have to go to their place, greet them and present them with a gift. I suggested he pick something up in Ginza and go and apologize to Mr 607 that evening after work. No, Suk insisted, this is the wife's job. As a wife, you must buy the present and go there and explain that your husband parked in the wrong spot. When I balked at this suggestion, he started to explain that this is how it's done in Japan, and that if I were Japanese, I would do this with no hesitation because THAT IS WHAT JAPANESE WIVES DO. (This is not in caps to represent yelling, it is in caps to show my disgust for something this is so often said to we who are not Japanese wives.) Of course, I refused because this was HIS mistake, not mine and he needed to deal with it. I would buy the present and have it gift wrapped, but that was it. (He told me it had to be seasonal fruit.)

That night he got home too late to go and see Mr 607. (In fact, he got home so late that I was already in bed, and he had forgotten in keys, so he was calling/ringing the doorbell repeatedly, but it took about 30 minutes for me to wake up and realize this, so like I said, Leos were having a bad day!) The next morning, I asked him if he would go, and he explained that people never do apologizing or greeting in the morning. Evening (early evening) is better and that is precisely why THE WIFE needs to do it. Um, no, not falling for that one. I told him that since it is seasonal fruit, he would have to get it to them sooner rather than later.

Okay, so do Japanese pears (nashi) taste good in fruit smoothies? I am just wondering because I have a feeling that I will be eating the entire box myself!

4 comments:

ad said...

I can see that happening. I think it has to do with saving face. As the wife you are supposed to care about the face of the family to the general public, so you will very willingly be the go between and clear everything up. Is that how it goes? I totally see some of the apologies I've had to make on behalf of the other in a different light now. Before this I had just assumed that I was continually losing the battle between the two of us socially anxious people. So I was the one to call for pizza, and the one to make apologies.

In the US it wouldn't fly, I know. Because Americans would wonder, what's his problem that he doesn't tell me himself? So the poor wife has to go do it for him? Jerk. But in the Asian context I can totally see it.

At least if you do it you can be sure that he doesn't go to them and say, "I'm so sorry that MY WIFE parked the car in the wrong spot." :-)

illahee said...

the smoothie comment made me laugh!

i would probably do it myself, just to be sure to get the message across that it was my idiot husband who did it! ha!

sorry, snarky pregnancy hormones or something. ;)

Sherry said...

I understand all the thinking about this sort of thing, but I still wouldn't do it for my husband. I might go with him, but I wouldn't do it by myself. If he wanted a Japanese wife then he darn well could have married one. It's not like he didn't know where to fine one. Hope you get it worked out.

L. said...

I agree with the commenters who said that by at least going with him, you will pre-empt all chance of his blaming YOU for parking in the wrong spot.

I also wish I had a dollar for everytime I told my husband, "nihonjin to kekkon shita ho ga yokatta ne!"