Updates

I know I always do this, and it is so lame. Kuri has been keeping up her blog about all her adventures with little Nao. Meanwhile, I have a hard time writing because I want to keep it positive, yet honest. Things are going well right now, so I guess it as good a time as any to write.

Suk and Me
Suk and I came close to throwing in the towel, but decided to try therapy instead. I wish I could say it was massage therapy or something to that effect, but it is your run-of-the-mill marriage counseling type of therapy. He was really reluctant to go because he had this image of some dull politician-type Japanese guy choosing sides and telling the other one to fuck off. We chose the therapist together through the list provided by Tokyo Mental Health Professionals, an organization which refers bilingual and English-speaking therapists from various backgrounds.

It turns out she is a life-saver, extremely intelligent and fairly neutral. And, though I wouldn't say she can take full credit for miracles happening, Suk and I are in a much different place then we were 2 months ago. He has been making some major changes, and I guess I have to (but I always felt like I was making all the changes before), so this makes a big difference.

I really don't want to get into details about such a private issue, but I will say that it has been worth the money in our case. We have to trek all the way to Omotesando in Tokyo (about 1 hour and 15 minutes by train) on Saturdays, leaving Ailin with her Grandma for the afternoon. These afternoons in Omotesando, although they consist of a 15-minute stop off at Starbucks, a one-hour therapy session, and 2 1/2 hours on public transportation, do kind of seem like a date.

Now, we have been prescribed to twice monthly therapy sessions, and gradually, we'll taper down to once a month, and then just once in a while - like when there is a big change in our lives.

Family Activities
For us, I consider it a family activity when the dog is included in our outings. Thus, Suk and I have to find places which accommodate doggies. We have not been too successful on this front because of Suk's level of conservativeness. For example, when we take Max to a park, we cannot let him loose like every other dog owner does. This is partly due to Max's overzealousness. He simply loves people and other dogs and he wants so desperately to make new friends. This is also due to the fact that he seems to be attracted to small children who happen to be playing with bouncy, round objects, like balls.

So far, we have taken Max and Ailin to Mother Farm in Chiba, Inage Seaside Park in our town, the Flower Museum restaurant, Starbucks and other smaller parks in our neighborhood. My goal is to stay at a resort hotel which allows dogs. That is a pretty big goal, actually.

Outings without Max have consisted of Ario shopping mall in Soga, Narita Temple, Roppongi, & Azabujuban. My goal there is to go on more drives to see other parts of Chiba prefecture and perhaps even venture outside of Chiba with the car. I have done this on my own (with Ailin and while I was still pregnant, but shhhh....that's a secret). The goal is to have Suk do the driving.

Ailin's Development
She is 8 1/2 months now. We just celebrated Halloween where I dressed her as an angel. I must have a very high opinion of her.

She enjoys looking at books, playing with her blocks, knocking down any towers that I build, eating anything she picks up like tissues and papers, petting and watching Max, going for walks with Max every day, and attempting to crawl.

Her crawl is more of a sliding backwards type movement. She slides backwards until she gets her feet stuck under the couch or other piece of furniture and then she cries to be rescued.

She eats like a little piggy, loving just about anything I give her. Last week, I went to a seminar to learn how to make baby food, the Japanese way. That was informative, and since then, I have tried several of the recipes - basically things like carrot/spinach/fish mixture, carrot/spinach/chicken mixture, mashed potatoes, etc. All very interesting, but I do often cheat and feed her jarred baby food anyway. She seems to like pretty much anything.

Mama's Free Time
Now that I have chosen her day care for next year, and just have to apply within their application period in December, I am a bit more relaxed, relatively speaking.

From 6:30 am to 8:00 pm, my minutes revolve around entertaining Ailin, watching Ailin, feeding Ailin, preparing Ailin's diaper bag, cleaning up after Ailin, playing with Ailin, preparing Ailin's and my meals, taking dangerous things away from Ailin, dressing Ailin, going out with Ailin, bathing Ailin, etc. You get the picture, anyway. I really marvel at mothers who have more than one child.

During nap times or when she is (thankfully) playing contentedly by herself, I steal a few minutes to do email, search the internet for something, clean up something, use the toilet, put on make up, etc. Granted, this never lasts very long. (Luckily, she really enjoys playing with my make up bottles, so that is a safe thing to do in her presence.)

After Ailin goes to bed, I have to make dinner, eat it, clean up the kitchen, tidy the apartment up, do laundry and then collapse on the couch. Lately, because Suk is making special efforts to come home early and spend time with me, he usually arrives home right about the time I collapse on the couch, so needless to say, I must "cheerily" warm up his dinner, keep him company while he eats, then clean it up. Oh my god...I am just so tired these days.

But, once or twice a week, I make a special effort to do something for myself. For one thing, MIL is more willing to babysit now that Ailin is older, eats baby food and doesn't cry the entire time I am away. So, for a few hours a week, she usually babysits while I sneak out to meet a friend for coffee, get my hair done or just do some errands that take half the amount of time without you-know-who around. My next major goal is to get someone to babysit her so that I can thoroughly mop the floors in our apartment, but I don't want to waste my precious alone time. This is what hired help is for, if only I could afford it.

Also, once or twice a week, I make a very simple dinner for myelf, and I reserve the right to do scrapbooking rather than all the other chores that await me. Right now, I am working on a couple of projects and would like to get a couple more started, so I need some time to concentrate.

That's it for now!