Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Losing Touch with American Culture

Not only am I getting older and therefore gradually losing touch with my high school students, but I am also losing touch with American culture. I try to stay with it as much as possible by subscribing to certain magazines and keeping up with celeb gossip, but that's about as far as it goes.

Everyday American life - the beautiful, peaceful, wonderful way of life - is slowly fading away, and as you see from this sentence, it has become idealized in my own mind.

The real purpose of this entry is to pose a few questions to anyone reading this. In a word, I need some help. I have started to write a series of short articles pertaining to everyday American life, and I found that there are some holes in my memory. These articles will be introduced in my Intercultural Communication class, where students are focusing on American culture, lifestyle, geography and history.

The first two articles are about Transportation/commuting and Shopping. So here are my questions.

Transportation/Communication
Is it true to some people, especially those who live on the East Coast, sometimes commute to work by airplane? Say, from Boston to NYC, or something to that effect?

What are the benefits of carpooling to work? I have already written about the benefit of the carpool lane. How does that carpool lane thing work anyway?

For teenagers who live in metropolitan areas, how does one go about getting a driver's license? Do they offer Driver's Ed in the high schools? How much does it cost otherwise? And finally, how much does it cost to take the test and get the license at the DMV? I know this varies from state to state, but I found that the price varies from $5 on up.

What is the temporary license called? Do you have a nickname for it? I swear that we called it a "temps" in high school, but my co-worker highly doubted this.

Shopping
I guess I don't have any questions about this section, but I will share with you my list of vocabulary words, and you'll get an idea of the contents we are dealing with.

Main Street
Outskirts
Gas station
Mom & Pop shop
Chain store
Strip Mall
Locally-owned
Outlet Store
Superstore


And finally, let me share with you other topics for future articles. Each article will be short, say 100 words or less.

Possible Topics for the Future
Food: What we eat every day
Music: What people listen to
Leisure: What people do for fun
Sports & Exercise: What people do to stay fit (or not)
Entertainment: What people watch on TV
Humor: What is funny to American people
Holidays: How holidays are celebrated
High School Life: What life is like for high school students

Any other suggestions?

Monday, May 29, 2006

We Are Being Watched

I have been really good these past couple of weeks. I have left my bitchin' and complainin' about hubby out of my blog for the sole reason that I wanted to seem "positive." Then, I signed on with Sitemeter due to Mean Teacher's post about her experiences with it, and now I can see who, when, what, where and how people are reading my blog. I found that, yes, he does sometimes sign on from his work computer. Oh...for...the...love...of...god, as good ol' Homer Simpson would say.

Then, just yesterday, he happened to notice when I was reading some comments from Shannon (thank you for commenting!), and said, "Please don't write about me on your blog. It's embarrassing." He also told me that he sometimes reads it, and I was like, "No....really?" and then to myself, "No....couldn't be....no-o-o-o...how could he? can he? really?" And, later, he admitted that my writing vocabulary is much different than my spoken (when speaking to him) vocabulary, and that it's unfair to show my "real self" to others, but not to him.

Well, folks, you have just glimpsed the inside of an international marriage where the two people involved have not only gender issues, communication issues, but also a huge language barrier. Oh, sure, we do the whole switching thing between Japanese and English all the time - whatever feels comfortable, whatever comes out of our mouths at any given moment, but when I turn to my friends, I will undoubted switch to a natural speed, higher level English. I am sure he does the same in Japanese. Let's hope that this is normal. Let's also hope that it will get better by the time we are married for 50 years. Let's also hope that our kids will be able and willing to translate for us. Don't tell them that though because I think it will be too much pressure on them. Just let it happen naturally.

But, there is a gender issue going on that I am sure supercedes any and all language barriers. It is the fact that he tunes me out! He doesn't even listen to what I am saying half the time - whether it is a cute story about my childhood, or gossip about a friend, or how pissed off I am about something he did, or a request to do something. I mean, the guy just stares off into space, or the TV, or the floor, and I have to repeat myself a thousand times.

So, I must relate this one small tidbit before I go. Last week, after much tension at work, two of my co-workers (Mr. K is my good friend, and Mr. J is new to this job) had it out with each other, and Mr. J admitted to "tuning out" most things that Mr. K says, and he went so far is to call it "rhetoric" which is deeply insulting. I studied rhetoric in college as part of my communications major, but I actually had to look this word up to see whether it was truly an insult or not. Yes, it is! Completely and utterly insulting! So, Mr. K was pissed off about this. It is pretty pathetic when a new employee to a company decides to tune out everything that someone says, especially when that someone is trying to "learn" him something. But, I wanted to say, "Someone you barely know is tuning you out? That's sad, but try being married to someone for 5 years, and being tuned out every single day. Then, I will ask you if it bothers you that Mr. J tunes you out."

Friday, May 26, 2006

And the harrassment continues

Can it be called harrassment when I post nasty stuff about my friends on my own blog and hope that they read it?

Thanks, Amy, for answering my MEME. I guess that is the proper word, but I have no idea what it means. You are a dear friend.

As for the other friends that I mentioned in my Current Fives and in the post before that - I am still waiting, and now I am really starting to second-guess the description of my blog, which is written just under the title. Shall I change it or not?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Cola Roast

I just want to give a shout out to any of your slow-cooker fanatics out there. I tried the recipe for Cola Roast last week. It sounds disgusting, but it is so easy to do, and anything that involves Coke-a-cola is undoubtedly tasty, so I thought I would give it a try.

I don't usually get too excited about meat, but this was so damn good that I ended up eating half of the roast, packing up the other half for my lunch box, and then calling my husband to tell him "Sorry, no dinner tonight. I just didn't have time. You'll have to fend for yourself."

Tonight, I am making it again, and I am going to make sure he tries it.

Cola Roast
Place one huge chunk of meat in the slow cooker. I prefer pork thigh because it is virtually fat-free.

Mix together one can of Cream of Mushroom soup and one package of onion soup mix. Pour over the meat and spread it evenly.

Just before turning on the slow cooker, pour a can of coke (diet coke would not work here!) over the meat mixture, place cover on slow cooker, and cook on HIGH until you get home.

Last week, mine was cooking for nearly 10 hours and high, and it looked kind of burnt, but it tasted so excellent. The sauce makes a wonderful gravy for rice or potatoes as well.

Let me know how it tastes!

Current Fives

This is my first original tag. I have never made one before and I don't know exactly how it works, but I am going to give this a try. This is an easy one.

5 Musicians that I currently listen to:
Amanda Wilkinson
P!NK
Jewel
Kelly Clarkson
Keith Urban

5 Movies/DVDs that I Have Watched Recently:
DaVinci Code
The Producers
Inventing the Abbotts
The Forgotten
Butterfly Effect

5 TV Shows that I Tend to Watch (not necessarily because I want to):
Tru Calling
Nip/Tuck
The Swan
Killer Instinct
American Idol

5 Restaurants I have Visited Recently:
Outback Steakhouse
Old Spaghetti Factory
Maharaja
An Okonomiyaki restaurant
McDonald's

5 Foods that I currently enjoy snacking on:
Dark Chocolate (as always!)
Cottage Cheese
Gouda/White Cheddar Cheese
Pringles (sour cream and onion)
Coke-a-cola (okay, this is not a food, but it is close enough!)

I am tagging the following people:
  • International Marriage?? What the heck is that?!

  • Homesick Home

  • Adventures of Bu & Q

  • The Mean Teacher

  • deenster in Tokyo



  • I am also tagging the following people (another test to see if you're reading). Just do your lists in the comments section.
    Amy
    Jill
    Sara
    Shannon

    Monday, May 22, 2006

    To Friends Back Home

    Yes, I still call the USA my home. So sue me!

    This is a plea to my friends back home - Amy, Shannon, Sara and Jill.

    You guys are the best. I am so happy that things are moving along for everyone as we are about to turn 30.

    Okay, end of sucking up.

    Need I say it again. I know you are reading this, and I want you to comment. Comments get emailed directly to me, so even if you are behind in your reading, I will still see the comment. You don't need to have your own blog in order to comment. And, if you forget your registered user name and password, you can make up a new one on the spot.

    Now, just some news to update you all on each other.

    Amy
    Amy and her family are moving to a new place this summer. They seem to be doing fine, and Amy sounds great actually. I really enjoyed talking with her on the phone a few weeks ago. She is the one who made me realize that I should be calling my friends once in while instead of feeling sorry for myself because no one ever calls me. So, thanks to Amy, I am making phone dates with you all once a month. Got that!

    Shannon
    Shannon is getting married next summer, and has just started "officially" living with her fiance. They are having a new house built and will be moving into it in September. She is also starting a new job this fall as a pre-school teacher for special ed kids. And, get this, she is applying for grad school. I am so jealous!

    Sara
    Sara is getting married in September. They recently purchased a house that is a hop, skip and jump from Lake Michigan in Milwaukee. They will be moving sometime this summer.

    Jill
    Jill is going to grad school and in the middle of deciding whether or not to let her boyfriend move in with her. He is a really nice guy, Jill! You can't find 'em any nicer and low-key than that. In fact, since opposites do attract, maybe Mr. Low Key would be good for you in the long run.

    I love you all. Next phone date is with Sara. Email me.

    When Good Things Happen to Smart, Manipulative People

    I wouldn't exactly describe myself as manipulative, but I do have a way of getting what I want when I want it. I guess you could call it a talent.

    So this table with the two vampire holes was kind of bothering me. Thanks for the tip on wood filler. Will buy some at DIY Store tonight. In the meantime, I covered that part of the table with some magazines and various pieces of mail, and you-know-who was none the wiser.

    We have to get our asses in gear regarding this condo because want to make it look presentable by June 3, the day of our housewarming party. So, we went out shopping on Saturday and decided to buy a bench for our table (the one with the vampire holes in it.) We also had to get lace curtains to go beneath our real curtains that we purchased a few weeks ago. They are gorgeous - the real curtains, I mean. A perfect compromise between the ugly (I mean, elegant) floral pattern that he wanted and the simple leaf-pattern that I wanted. In a word, they have an elegant leaf pattern on them, and they are supposed to be green, but they look kind of yellow in the light. Luckily, I happen to like yellow.

    We were also in the market for a coffee table, and these are so damn expensive. I kept telling Suk to go down to the DIY center and make one himself, but you know salarymen and their tools. Those two words don't really belong in the same sentence.

    We meandered around the store for a while looking at various tables, and Suk in his usual non-impulsive style, was all like, "Not exactly what we had in mind. We should go somewhere else tomorrow."

    On Sunday, we went to a different store where we knew there would be plenty of benches to choose from. And it was at this store where we actually purchased the lace curtains. While looking around for a decent coffee table, we came upon ... It.

    It was the perfect compromise between the kind of table I had been fantisizing about for months and the kind of table he wanted.

    It was country style, lighter color wood. Two benches at a 90-degree angle with a small, square bench in between. The price was within our budget, and they had only 4 left. We sat down at It and discussed the ins and outs of the size, the style, etc. We compared and contrasted it to other tables that we kind of liked. We walked around the store for what seemed like hours, and in the meantime, we found a coffee table that we both liked.

    We decided to put the old table in my scrapbooking room so that I can use it as a worktable, which would give me a lot more space to work on, and I won't have to sit on the floor anymore. Plus, we won't have to buy a desk eventually - that was to be my birthday gift.

    Eventually, we came back and we bought It along with the coffee table. And the best part of the whole weekend? All compromise and no fights! I couldn't believe my luck.

    And it gets better. The two vampire holes will belong to me now. I can blame it on my scrapbooking tools and say it was a total accident...that is if anyone notices them.

    Next project that I must finish this week. An A2 size scrapbook page with the theme "FAMILY" that will go in a picture frame. We received a really cool frame from Karen, a friend who moved to the USA recently, and we are going to hang it in the dining area. I have to find photos of his family and my family to put in it.

    Max is doing fine, but it not quite there on the housebreaking yet. I need to find ways to manipulate him into doing what I want. Any suggestions?

    Friday, May 19, 2006

    When Smart People Do Dumb Things

    Sssh...don't tell my husband, but I pounded two holes in our kitchen table.

    Rather than wait around for him to hang up my pictures and bulletin boards, and going through yet another weekend of nagging, I decided to decorate my scrapbooking/computer area all by my lonesome.

    The bulletin board needed two nails pounded into it so that I could properly tie a string across the back. Well, I laid that bulletin board down on the wooden kitchen table,and I pounded. Then I pounded some more. Oh, just a bit more. There.

    I tied the string between the two nails, and there you go, ready to hang up on the wall.

    But I got interrupted with something way better to do, like watch X-files. Then make dinner. Then eat it. Then sit around and watch more TV. Hang out with dog. Surf the internet. Then clean the house. Finally, at midnight, I found my way back to the kitchen table, and I thought, oh, yes, "must hang the bulletin board before going to bed."

    I attempted to lift it off the table, but it wouldn't budge. And I lifted. And I pulled. And I set my knee up on the table and gave it a big pull. There it goes!

    Two vampire-like holes in the kitchen table. A bulletin board with nail spikes poking through the front. Do you think it will be obvious to the naked eye?

    Time to cover up the table with a cloth and call it good.

    (By the way, this is not a brand-new table. We opted to put off buying a table as we had decided to exchange our 4-year old table with Suk's mom's table. Oh. thank. god. I. think.)

    Monday, May 15, 2006

    One Person's Rudeness is Another Person's Physical Disorder

    A funny thing occurred during the catered lunch which took place at the shrine. There was much wine, beer and sake, so after 90 minutes of solid drinking and eating, I was a little sleepy. Forgiveable in most circumstances, perhaps.

    Towards the end of the meal, SIL and Sensei invited the young Shinto priest to come in, so we could all thank him personally. Then, for some ungodly reason, they invited us to ask questions about Shintoism to the priest. Well, for once, these Japanese people actually HAD questions, and the priest went on and on in detail about the history of the shrine, how one becomes a priest...well, I am not sure what was said after that because I was nodding off...zonked out...long gone.

    Suk was constantly tapping my foot and arms to jolt me awake, but it didn't help. People were watching me. The priest was droning on, and people were asking question after question. Then, MIL, turns to me and says, "Why don't you ask a question about the differences between Shinto and Christianity?"

    Honestly, I had no questions about that. I already know the differences, but I couldn't even stay awake long enough to think of a polite question. Suk was embarrassed. With only 9 other people there, it was obvious that I was nodding off, which in itself would not have been a crime.

    After the priest left, we began cleaning up, and Sensei came right over to ask me if I was bored. Well, not bored. Just sleepy, but there is something else.

    I have narcalepsy when it comes to listening to lectures. As soon as someone starts lecturing at me, I fall asleep. It started when I was in college, and I hated it. I tried everything to stay awake, but even in my most interesting, major-related classes where I had read all of the text materials and LOVED the professors, I couldn't control it. I would even sit in the first row of the lecture halls, thinking that my body would be more motivated to stay awake, but it didn't help. To this day, I often fall asleep at meetings, seminars, lectures, etc.

    But, Suk thought I was being extremely rude, and he managed to bring it up to me during yet another fight over the weekend. It's not like I did it on purpose! And, you can't expect me to understand what the priest is saying, which makes it even harder to pay attention.

    Suk didn't buy the claim that it is a physical disorder rather than a personality characteristic which I could potentially change. He brought up the example of the "sweating incident". He said he sweats a lot, but he cannot control it.

    The "sweating incident" occurred at our very own wedding in the States. Imagine a large church filled with 80 of your friends, family and colleagues. The bride and groom are standing at the altar with the minister, and throughout the entire 60-minute ceremony, the groom is sweating so profusely that the sweat is actually dripping from his face. He continually uses a handkerchief to wipe his face, neck and hands. The minister pauses the ceremony to ask if he would like to "take a moment" outside. Later, people joke about it. "Was he scared about getting married?" "Didn't he want to get married?"

    According to Suk, he had gone out drinking with some guys the night before for a mini-bachelor party, and though he had not consumed that much alcohol, it was the main reason for his sweat. Other reasons included the fact that he was a little nervous about standing in front of so many people, and that I had I was trembling a bit which caused him to become more nervous.

    This reference to the "sweating incident" backfired on Suk because I told him how much embarrassment that incident had caused us, that people still joke about it, and that people actually thought he didn't want to be getting married.

    Shocked into submission, Suk had nothing to say. Point taken. Uncontrollable physical disorder. Noted.

    He left the room and came back about five minutes later a much nicer and affectionate husband.

    SIL and Sensei's Wedding Extravaganza

    I wanted to write about SIL's wedding ceremony, but I don't want to go into much detail about the ceremony itself. I really would rather write about an "incident" that occurred.

    Here is a rundown of the day. We awoke at 5:30 to travel to Tokyo and spend the day at a small shrine. Only 8 people were invited - the parents on both sides, the sibling on both sides and his/her wife/husband. We arrived at 8:30 and since there was a lot of downtime before the ceremony would start, I brought my dress, makeup and hair stuff with me and got dressed in one of the private rooms. I decided to do something experimental with my hair, which is normally down or in a simple ponytail. That was the funnest part of the day.

    I finished dressing all too soon, and then we family members just waited around for SIL and Sensei to finish dressing. I was afraid to talk much because Suk always gives me dirty looks whenever I say anything mildly inappropriate. Okay, that is a foreshadowing of what is to come.

    Turns out the father of Sensei is quite funny and loves to be the center of attention. Unfortunately, he likes to talk about baseball, which is not funny at all to me, but he does laugh a lot and he makes others laugh. He is much different from Sensei who is the quite, observent type.

    Finally, SIL came out in all her glory - a beautiful white kimono with the headdress and cap. She had so much makeup on that you could barely recognize her. I think getting married in that kind of costume was something she had always secretly dreamed of, and that is why she paid for Suk and I to have professional photos taken of us wearing those Japanese wedding costumes. I'll add a photo of us later today. (I'm sorry but I cannot reveal the identity of SIL and Sensei due to the nature of their jobs, so no photos of them can be part of this blog!)

    SIL and Sensei looked truly happy and calm with each other. I am so glad she found someone like him - really nice and smart, smart enough not to get in her way when she has an opinion about something, and she seems willing to compromise with him. I have to say that according to them, they DO argue and fight, even on their very first date! At least they don't fib like SOME couples we know who go around claiming that they have never had a fight!

    On with the wedding. We posed for photos outside, and then proceeded to the shrine for the ceremony. Before the ceremony, the Shinto priest gave us a lecture about what to expect during the ceremony and how to do certain things. Why does he have to do this?

    Well, because most Japanese know next to NOTHING about this religion, and the only time they whip it out is for ceremonies like this. Also, it is kind of rare to get invited to an authentic Shinto wedding. It was my second ceremony, but the first time for Suk. (The first wedding I attended resulted in d-i-v-o-r-c-e, so I didn't dare bring that to anyone's attention for fear of bring bad luck to the day, but how many times did people say to me, "Oh, it must be so interesting to experience this part of Japanese culture!" I wanted to say, "You tell me. Is it interesting?")

    The ceremony took 40 minutes. There were two priests and an assistant. The young priest did all the work and then played some kind of flute during some parts. Oh my god...I much prefer Christian music with real words about eagles and mountains and ashes. I thought my ears were going to split in half. The old priest got up to do the most important parts of the ceremony, and every time he sat down, his stool would squeak like a loud fart. I wanted to die. (Another figure of speech which Japanese people do use all too often!)

    After the ceremony, we noticed it had started to rain pretty hard. We were given umbrellas, and SIL and Sensei looked so cool sharing an umbrella. In Japan, sharing an umbrella with a lover is considered to be the ultra-romantic scenario. Plus, rain is good luck on your wedding day. (It rained on our wedding as well!)

    Then, we went back to the waiting room and waited for about 90 minutes while SIL was changed into an orange kimono. They had to redo her makeup and hair, so it took a while. The mothers and Sensei changed into western clothes. Finally, it was time to eat lunch.

    This is wear the story begins to get interesting, so I will continue in the next post.

    I'll Kill You

    That's a catchy title.

    Following is a recent conversation between my husband and me.

    Ring...ring.
    Suk: Hello.

    MandeJ: Hi. I'm gonna kill you.

    Suk: What? Wait a minute. Why?

    MandeJ: I'm gonna kill you because you left the gate open this morning, and the dog got out and caused damage all over the house.

    Suk: Why would you kill me? I don't think that is very nice thing to say. How can you say something like that?

    MandeJ: Did you hear me? The dog got out and chewed up the house!
    Suk: I am really hurt by what you said. You want to kill me?

    MandeJ: It's a common saying...it's something that Americans often say to each other. How could you have left the gate open?

    Suk: That's just an excuse. I don't want to hear your excuses. All Americans say they are going to kill each other? I don't believe it. I'm really upset.

    MandeJ: Okay, I'm sorry. I should not have said that, but you should know that Americans do say this phrase...a lot. Perhaps I have never said it to you before because I never needed to.

    Houston, we are not communicating here!

    Friday, May 12, 2006

    I bet she used to be hot!

    Remember the post about my sister-in-law (SIL) and her all-too-sudden announcement that she'd be getting married back in January? Yesterday we took the day off work to attend their traditional Shinto ceremony.

    Yes, the ceremony was held a THURSDAY at a real shrine. And, for those who live in Japan, let me repeat that. A REAL, authentic shrine - not a hotel with small fake shrine or a tiny wedding chapel just inside the lobby - but a real one deep in the heart of Tokyo.

    For the first time in 5 years, I wore a real dress. I was always self-concious about my legs, which are out of proportion to the rest of my body. Why is it that some people who are considered overweight have awesome, muscular legs? Why is it that I (who admittedly am bordering on overweight herself!) have really fat calves? For those of you who reside in the USA, perhaps this doesn't seem like a big deal to you. Living in Japan with all these skinny-minnies, I have grown much more self-conscious about the size of my legs. Anyway, I attended a friend's wedding about a month ago, and my husband was giving me advice about what to wear at the last minute, but we realized that I own nothing appropriate for a Japanese wedding.

    The ladies who attend weddings in this country wear the most beautiful outfits, almost always in pastel colors, which could just make you wanna puke under any other circumstance. I wasn't planning to buy one for myself, but a few days before SIL's wedding, I went to Jusco (like JCPenneys) to buy a nice shirt that would match my normal uniform of black pants (that I wear to work every day.) Before purchasing, I thought I should just ask Suk which one was most appropriate for his sister's wedding. He took one look at the shirts I had chosen and said, "Well, the mothers will be wearing kimono, so you have to dress up more. Where are the dresses for weddings?" Oh, great. Do I have to buy one of those fancy pastel numbers?

    We quickly found a few dresses and I tried them on. It's hard to find an appropriate size here. Most foreigners have problems. The first year I lived here, I used to get so upset that I had to buy LL size everything! Sometimes LL didn't even fit me, and I would cry about it. And my dress/shirt size is right 15 (Japanese size), but most displays only go up to 15, and usually it's rare to find anything left in that size. (So, someone must be buying them!) Anyway, I got a pink dress and a matching tweed jacket with a fake diamond clasp. PINK!


    Me and my mother-in-law. She was SO jealous of my pink dress because she is crazy about the color herself!

    Nonetheless, I was quite proud of myself for getting over my complex about my legs. I wouldn't say that I am totally over it, but I decided that since I am turning 30 this year, I should just get over it. People aren't looking at me and saying, "She's hot, except for the legs," anymore. They're looking at me and saying, "I bet she used to be hot." So, what! I am a-okay with that.

    Monday, May 01, 2006

    Being the Mama of a Mama's Boy

    I have come to the conclusion that being a mama of a Mama's Boy is really not so bad. In fact, it is quite flattering, and it is hard to force yourself to try and break the habits created between you and your Mama's boy.

    Why did I come to this conclusion? Well, as you know, I often complain about my husband's attachment to his mom and about her encouragement of the whole situation. Well, now that I am the proud mama of a little male dog, I have realized that his attachment to me is really quite endearing. No, not just endearing, it is downright flattering and cute, and I do not see myself ever putting a stop to it.

    I read in a magazine the other day about a mom who felt this way, and she wrote that she feels so good because her child can only be comforted by her, cries whenever she leaves the room, wants to follow her everywhere, loves to cuddle up to her, prefers her over other people, and seems so content sleeping in her arms. Well, this is exactly how I feel about my puppy, even if it is does piss other people off. He can keep on being a mama's boy for all his life, and I am not going to break him of it.

    (Still trying to break him of the habit of peeing all around the kitchen though!)