Feeling Down

Thanks to those who commented about Ailin's photo. I am enjoying this time with her, and I didn't realize how much life would change with a baby. In most ways, these are good (great!) changes, so I am not complaining. I just wish I could get through my lunch at a restaurant without ... you know what I mean ... I just wish I could get through a whole meal sometimes.

Okay, this title is Feeling Down because in Japanese, they use the word "down" to describe feelings of slight depression...especially after a series of unfortunate events. This is exactly how I feel, and it sort of came to a peak today. Here is my list of events that contributed to my feeling down.

1. Our stroller was slightly broken and had to be sent back to the manufacturer. When we got it back a few weeks later, there was a note with a long explanation and illustrations describing how we had been using the stroller incorrectly. I guess it pays to read directions, even for something as mundane as a stroller. (We had lost the directions immediately after buying the stroller though!)

2. Our digital camera broke and had to be sent back to Canon. At first, we were told it would take 3 weeks and 14,000 yen to fix, but then we were able to prove that our warranty was still good and they fixed it for free. (We had lost the warranty somewhere along the way!)

3. Our car was recalled - no big deal - but it had to go in the shop for a couple of days. I still don't really understand what the problem was.

4. My computer totally and utterly crashed. I guess my iTunes was getting inundated with episodes of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I didn't realize it. My hard disk became too full to function properly and I had to have everything cleared out and reinstalled. Fortunately, my files were saved, but it took 2 weeks to get it working. The guys down at PC Depot kept treating me like an idiot, but finally on the 3rd trip to the store lugging my computer and baby with me, they finally went ahead and did what I was asking them to from the beginning. I hated living without a computer for 2 weeks, and this is partly what prompted me to start blogging again.

5. My husband offered to buy a new cell phone for me - one that can be used for international calls as well. At the cell phone store, they attempted to take my old phone and transfer the phone book info to the new phone, but it broke mid-transfer and so they suggested I enter the info by hand later. When I got home, I found that my old phone couldn't be turned on at all, so I had lost all of my contacts' phone numbers! It's not like I had written anyone's numbers down!

6. And, the most recent of events - yesterday, I was driving through an intersection when a small child kicked a stone and it just happened to hit the windshield of my car. He was about 6, judging from his size, elementary school-style back pack and his apparent lack of understanding about what he had done. He was with 3 friends, and I could tell he hadn't done it on purpose. I got out of the car to confront them, but I neglected to ask him his full name, address, phone number, school's name, etc. It crossed my mind that he probably didn't know this information himself, or if he did, he had been taught not to tell it to strangers. However, after the fact, I have thought of several ways I could have handled the situation. However, I had stopped the car in kind of a bad place on the road and Ailin was asleep in her car seat. I couldn't leave the scene to follow the kid home and talk to his mom or force him to take me back to his school so I could speak with the teacher. It was terrible luck, really. The windshield is now cracked.

It dawned on me after this incident that although I had been able to handle the first 5 cases with relative ease - everything was fixed with no problem, apt cooperation from Suk, and I had a chance to demonstate my Japanese skills in a variety of situations. However, this last one left me feeling paralyzed. I realized that I don't know how to call the police, I didn't know how to describe the street corner we were on, and I wouldn't have known how to describe the situation to the police over the phone. I also didn't know exactly how to talk to the young child - which words do they understand? How polite do I have to be? What would be appropriate to say to him? And, if I had gotten into an accident with another car, I would definitely not know what to do, how to call the insurance co., how to describe anything. The whole incident left me quite humbled.

7. And, this is not related to electronics, but I have not been able to lose the pregnancy weight. All of my friends have been able to lose it already, but Ailin is almost 5 months, and I am as fat as ever...and getting fatter. I only have two pairs of pants - one pair is maternity pants - that I can wear, and I have to wear very large, loose-fitting t-shirts. I often ask Suk why the weight won't go away, and his response is usually something like "It's because you eat fatty, greasy foods all the time. Those other women are probably eating very healthily." or "It's because you don't exercise. You should take up jogging or something."

Frankly, I don't see how that can happen...the jogging thing I mean. My right foot hurts like hell, and I can't even sit in certain positions without getting these shooting pains up my foot. So, I am considering getting a pool membership somewhere and going for aqua-aerobics, but then I have to find someone to care for Ailin during these times. Not an easy task.

As for the eating fatty, greasy foods...no, I do not eat these types of foods constantly. Okay, I do/did have a daily craving for chocolate and coke, but that was it! His theory was blown out of the water today when I went out to eat lunch with a mom frmo my playgroup. She seems to be back down her pre-preggers weight as she is totally skinny! For lunch, guess what she ate?! Three donuts from Mr Donuts. That's it. This was her "lunch", not a snack! Meanwhile, I couldn't even get through my bowl of chilled udon noodles because Ailin was screaming her head off.