We Are Being Watched

I have been really good these past couple of weeks. I have left my bitchin' and complainin' about hubby out of my blog for the sole reason that I wanted to seem "positive." Then, I signed on with Sitemeter due to Mean Teacher's post about her experiences with it, and now I can see who, when, what, where and how people are reading my blog. I found that, yes, he does sometimes sign on from his work computer. Oh...for...the...love...of...god, as good ol' Homer Simpson would say.

Then, just yesterday, he happened to notice when I was reading some comments from Shannon (thank you for commenting!), and said, "Please don't write about me on your blog. It's embarrassing." He also told me that he sometimes reads it, and I was like, "No....really?" and then to myself, "No....couldn't be....no-o-o-o...how could he? can he? really?" And, later, he admitted that my writing vocabulary is much different than my spoken (when speaking to him) vocabulary, and that it's unfair to show my "real self" to others, but not to him.

Well, folks, you have just glimpsed the inside of an international marriage where the two people involved have not only gender issues, communication issues, but also a huge language barrier. Oh, sure, we do the whole switching thing between Japanese and English all the time - whatever feels comfortable, whatever comes out of our mouths at any given moment, but when I turn to my friends, I will undoubted switch to a natural speed, higher level English. I am sure he does the same in Japanese. Let's hope that this is normal. Let's also hope that it will get better by the time we are married for 50 years. Let's also hope that our kids will be able and willing to translate for us. Don't tell them that though because I think it will be too much pressure on them. Just let it happen naturally.

But, there is a gender issue going on that I am sure supercedes any and all language barriers. It is the fact that he tunes me out! He doesn't even listen to what I am saying half the time - whether it is a cute story about my childhood, or gossip about a friend, or how pissed off I am about something he did, or a request to do something. I mean, the guy just stares off into space, or the TV, or the floor, and I have to repeat myself a thousand times.

So, I must relate this one small tidbit before I go. Last week, after much tension at work, two of my co-workers (Mr. K is my good friend, and Mr. J is new to this job) had it out with each other, and Mr. J admitted to "tuning out" most things that Mr. K says, and he went so far is to call it "rhetoric" which is deeply insulting. I studied rhetoric in college as part of my communications major, but I actually had to look this word up to see whether it was truly an insult or not. Yes, it is! Completely and utterly insulting! So, Mr. K was pissed off about this. It is pretty pathetic when a new employee to a company decides to tune out everything that someone says, especially when that someone is trying to "learn" him something. But, I wanted to say, "Someone you barely know is tuning you out? That's sad, but try being married to someone for 5 years, and being tuned out every single day. Then, I will ask you if it bothers you that Mr. J tunes you out."