A Human Dock

This morning, I went in for my annual health check. Up until now, I have always gone to a hospital and just gotten an X-ray to check for tuberculosis. However, this year, perhaps because I am turning 30 or because my 3-year teaching license is being renewed, I was told to do the health check at the city public health office.

It started out fairly pleasantly. Everyone was super kind and smiley. I had to change into a pair of short pants and a Japanese-style shirt that ties in the front.

Urinanalysis
This could have been uneventful, but it wasn't. Someone had left a huge, stinky present in one of the Japanese-style toilets, and it caused the entire bathroom to reak. I thought I was going to throw up. Obviously that person has problems, and this is precisely why I feel extremely uneasy about using public toilets, especially those that look as if they might not flush.

X-Ray
After that, I felt like I would throw up, but I hoped the feeling would fade. The x-ray technician said hello to me when it was my turn, and I said "Onegai shimasu." This means, "Please" in Japanese, and it is a very commonly used phrase. He responded by saying, "Oh, you can speak Japanese so well." I said, "I only said one word." He said, "Oh, well...whatever."

Blood
They drew three viles of blood, and I asked the woman what my blood type is. My husband and his family have been asking me for years, but I have NO idea what it is. I don't really want to know because I would rather not be categorized like that. Plus, the topic of blood-type comes up in family-dinner conversation at least ONCE each time. They are so proud of the fact that they all have B-type blood. I know one thing though. I do NOT have B-type blood. I am nothing like them. Anyway, the woman said I would find out later today, but I didn't. I guess I have to wait until the results of all the tests get sent to my school.

Eyes
I had to do the eye test, and she said I have 1.5. Whatever that means. She said it was good. Eye tests here are pretty cool because you have to look at a circle with an opening and tell them whether the opening is on the top, right, bottom or left of the circle. Anyone can do it even if they are illiterate or dyslexic.

Ears
I had to go into a sound booth and put on headphones. Then, I had to listen for the beeps and press a button every time I heard them. Way better than hearing tests I had growing up. I have bad hearing, so I always failed those tests and had to go and have additional tests done. Luckily, I passed this one.

Weight/Height
They checked my weight/height and blood pressure here.

Lung Capacity
Here, you take a breathing test, and you have to breathe into a tube. They measure how much air you can take into your lungs.

Heart
I had to walk up and down this little set of stairs. Each step has a light and when the light goes on, you should be stepping on that step. The lights speed up and slow down, and you have to do for what seems like 10 minutes, but is probably only 2 or 3 minutes. Then, they check your heart by putting these electric nodes on your chest, arms and ankles. It is intense.

After that, the cardiologist talked to me and told me it looked fine, but that I am a little overweight. Actually, what he said was, "Taijuu wa ne...chotto." Well, maybe I am just having a fat day.

I was pretty exhausted by this point, but I still had a couple more checks to do.

Heart Rate
I had to ride a stationary bike for about 8 minutes while wearing a blood pressure cuff and a bunch of electric nodes on my torso. They make you ride until your heart goes up to 160, no matter how long it takes. I was sweating like a horse by time I was finished.

Various (Weird) Checks
I had to wait around for quite a while after that. Finally they called me and two other people in to do the last test. This is a series of 6 tests, including the following:

Strength test
Jumping test
Flexibility test
Balance test
Reflex test
Movement test

I have no idea what to call that last one. I had to run side to side on a mat, and she would count every time my foot went past a black line on either side.

I have really bad knees, plus I am slightly overweight (at least compared to Japanese people), so these tests were not easy for me. I suppose I should eat less and exercise more. I should not sit in front of a computer or my scrapbooking desk so much every day. And, I should eat a little less chocolate.

This last series of tests really did a number on my body. I felt like CRAP for the rest of the day, and I still have a sideache. I haven't had a sideache since gym class in high school when they forced us to run laps. I think I really did hurt myself somehow.