Bachelorettes II

The other day, I wrote about my poor, poor Japanese girlfriends who are still single. I count my sister-in-law to be part of this group...but, not anymore!

Last night, my mother-in-law called me up (actually, she wanted to talk to my husband but she couldn't get a hold of him), and she told me this story.

My mother-in-law went to the hospital in Tokyo for some routine tests and her daughter (age 32 and perpetually single, but very beautiful and with an attitude) showed up to keep her company at the hospital. While there, she informed her mother that she would be visiting her this weekend and that she was planning to bring her boyfriend with her. This was the first anyone had heard of the existance of a boyfriend.

Not only that, but they have been dating for a whole year and they are planning to get married. So, she just wants to introduce him to us before they go through the formality of seeking permission from their company. They both work for a very strict company and apparently, they need permission to do this!

Anyway, my mother-in-law told her that she was against the whole thing, but I think she is just upset that she was never told her daughter was even dating someone.

Actually, my husband and I suspected that something was up for a quite a long time. She lives in Tokyo by herself, and she used to come home to our town almost every weekend. Last summer, she stopped coming so frequently, and then last fall, we didn't see her at all! Whenever we asked her about it (I was always made to ask the questions like "So, whose this mysterious guy you're seeing? What's his name? What, there is not one person you are even slightly interested in? Not even a flirtation? Oh, come on! I don't believe it," and so on), but she would never give anything away. So, even though we suspected, we were unable to get anything out of her.

In my view, this is just another example of Japanese culture. You date, but you don't tell, especially the family, until it is really serious and you plan to get married. I am not surprised about her, but I am surprised that my husband and his family are so shocked.

In our case, my mother-in-law saw it coming. For the six months before my husband and I got engaged, we were sending packages and letters back and forth through the mail, talking on the phone every week, and since he still lived at home, his mom was clued into everything. Then, he went and visited me in the USA for two weeks at Christmas, so they all figured he was planning to propose. When he came back to Japan and sat them all down to tell them the big news, his mom kind of stole his thunder when she said, "Oh that, yeah, we knew you were gonna do that. That's nice. Another drink, anyone?"