Mommy Brain

Is "mommy brain" just another way to blame someone else (your baby) for your forgetfulness, talent for losing things, ability to lose track of all thoughts and conversations, etc.?

I used to think not. In fact, up until a week ago, I would never have even uttered the two words "mommy" and "brain" in the same sentence. Up until a week ago, I could pretty much stay on track with everything, including conversations, my things, my baby's things, and whatever else I was supposed to be in charge of.

In fact, I was better than fine. I was and still am scrapbooking a few times a week and keeping on top of Ailin's book, and I even started a new album about my hometown. I was emailing people on a semi-regular basis, and I was even keeping up to date with family news, gossip and some Hollywood gossip. (Okay, so what if I never really had much interest in real news...thank god though because I doubt I could keep up.)

Then, the continued lack of sleep over time has somehow caught up with my brain, and I am now slowing down. Fuzziness has taken over as I rack my brain trying to remember the last sentence I said just 5 seconds ago. Or when I set something down and can't remember what it was or where I put it, and then I suddenly don't remember what I am looking for.

And, this might explain my problem with the lost keys. (Although Red Ferrari Lady is partly to blame for their continued loss...) Or the stupid pot being stuck in the pan. Did I forget that both were very hot? Then, just yesterday, Suk reminded my 5 times to give him Ailin's insurance card, and when he reminded me again this morning, and I had no idea where it was and I started to panic. 'It's gone. I don't know where it is. What! It should be right here, but it's not! Oh my god!!!" Suk opened the diaper bag and found it right away, amongst our bank account books.

This afternoon, as I waited for Ailin to settle down into a nap so I could get ready for the day. (Yes, I admit it, I was still not ready to go out and it was 2pm by then.) Of course, she refused to nap and just wanted to play. Oh, if Suk had been here, she'd be napping already!!!! Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and do the next best thing. I got ready quickly, rushed her out to the car and strapped her in seat. She fell asleep just after we began driving, and she stayed asleep for a good hour.

I, on the other hand, was also very sleepy, and I found myself nodding off at intersections while waiting for the light to turn green. I stopped at a gas station convenience store to buy coffee, coke and chocolate. When I opened my wallet to pay, there was NO money inside! I explained that I had money in the car and would be right back to pay. (I could only pray and hope that I actually did have money in the car.) After a bit of searching, I found a 10,000 yen bill, and I used that to pay. This 10,000 yen bill was meant for the revenue stamps for my renewal of spousal visa and re-entry permit, which brings me to my reason for bringing up this topic today.

Our reason for going outside today was so I could go to the immigration office and renew these two important documents. Without the spousal visa, which expires every three years, I cannot live in Japan. Without the re-entry permit, which also expires every three years, I cannot return to Japan to live should I leave for a vacation or something.

So, last week, I spent a couple evenings preparing all the documents I would need for these two procedures. I even downloaded the forms on-line and filled them out. I went around collecting all the documents I would need, and I thought I was ready to do this. I really wanted to start the process before leaving for the States on Thursday as it can take up to one month to process the spousal visa, and I don't want to be late like I was last time.

My friend advised that I arrive at the immigration office just before closing to ensure the shortest wait time. Makes sense to me. I clocked in about 10 minutes before the "take a number" machine was turned off. Then, I dutifully went downstairs to the post office and bought the stamps. I thought this would save me some time later.

I waited about 45 minutes and finally my number was called. Immediately, the lady told me that this was the wrong line for spousal visas. She only handles re-entry permits, and I should have taken a separate number for each line. I guess I would have known that if I had more carefully read the signs which clearly explain this fact just above the "take a number" machine!!! (Just because I can read doesn't mean my Mommy brain can process the information!) However, since it was the end of the day, she agreed to look at my papers and process both documents for me.

Turns out that I didn't have any of the correct documents and evidential information to show that my Japanese spouse does indeed exist. I needed to show a copy of his "resident card" and his "proof of income". The proof of income is to show that he can actually support me. Okay, so here's me and my mommy brain with it's screwy logic.

(Roughly translated into English)
"But, you see, my husband is a Japanese citizen. He doesn't have a resident card. The English explanation from the internet says nothing about bringing in a juminhyo."

"Well, a Juminhyo IS a resident card."

"Oh really? Because the phrase 'resident card' is not a good translation for juminhyo. I really didn't know that I needed his juminhyo."

(Um first of all, the juminhyo is NOT a card. It is a piece of paper which states the person's address. Basically, it is a proof of residence, and not what we would think of as a resident's card, which might be something that a foreigner keeps with him/her to prove that he has the right to reside in such and such country. In the USA, we do not have juminhyo. If we need to prove our residence, we show them a recent electric bill or something like that. Of course, I know what a juminhyo is, but I have never translated it in my head to resident's card, but I guess I will from now on!)

Then,
"You also need to show proof of his income. It says so right here."

"Why should I have to show proof of his income. I checked the box for "supporting self" and I brought in proof of my income."

"We don't care about your income. We only care about your spouse's income because you are living here on a SPOUSE visa."

"Yes, but I checked the box for SELF. And, I know my income has been low this year, but that's because I am on childcare leave, and actually, I am going back to work at the same place in February. I brought proof of my contract with my school, and it states my salary right here."

"Okay, it's very nice that you have a job, and that you are going back to work soon. That nice, really. But, frankly, we don't care about your income. We just want to know what your husband does. If he was here with you, he would be able to vouch for himself, but he's not, so we need evidence."

"Fine, I understand. I wanted to bring evidence of his income, but they don't release the paperwork until the very end of the year. And, you know this deadline for my visa is really bad timing, especially if I am supposed to start the process one month ahead of time."

"Well, you didn't have to start this early. You could have waited until after the new year."

(Get the picture? I could go on and on with this one. I am not sure why I was being difficult. I just felt so ... fuzzy.)

Another document I needed was a "Letter of Guarantee" that would be filled out by my spouse. I hadn't seen this on the internet, so I just ignored it when I saw it on the list of necessary documents. I mean, I figured it must not apply to me or something. I guess it did because the immigration officer was like,

"You are missing so many documents. Why didn't you come prepared? I am not sure why you would not have brought the letter of guarantee with you, or least your husband. I mean, if you can't read the Japanese explanations, you could have shown it to your husband, right?"

"Yes, but the explanations were also in English, and I thought I understood everything."

I must say though...she showed me the Japanese explanations of necessary documents, and it is one full page in very very small print. The English version is about 6 lines long, in very large print. TYPICAL!!! For those of you who live in Japan, you will understand exactly what I mean by that.

So, after I left, I kind of realized just how stupid I was. I had absolutely no proof that A. Suk actually exists and B. that Suk wants me to have a spouse visa. I do get it now.

Luckily for me though, I do not have to go back. She marked my applications as pending, and I just have to send in the rest of the documents. She even gave me an envelope to send them in. I'll just go back to pick up my visa and re-entry permit when they are ready in January.

More Broken Things

I may have written about all the broken weird things in my life over the summer, and I really thought it was all over with. I was starting to think my home's feng shui was really bad, so I borrowed a book from someone to learn more about the topic. I still haven't found the time to work with the book, and needless to say, my feng is not getting any better!!!!

In the last two weeks alone, three weird things happened.

The Case of the Missing Keys
Two weeks ago, Max and I were out walking in a field and for once in my life, I decided to play fetch with him. At the end of our walk, we began making our way back to the apartment building and I automatically checked my pockets for my keys. Gone!!!! I panicked slightly, but we turned around and started looking for them. Of course, we couldn't find them...I mean, I couldn't find them - Max was busying himself with his usual sniffing and leash-pulling. I knew Suk was waiting for me to get back so he could go to work, so after about 30 minutes, we made our way back to home.

Luckily for us, Suk was still at home so we could get into the house. Later that day, I went to the police station (that little field is between our apartment building and the police station, lucky for us.) and reported my keys missing. I hoped some other dog walker would find them and turn them in.

Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk offered to go out to the field with me and help look for the keys. Thank god he did because it took him about 30 seconds to spot them in the clover! Okay, I promised myself that I would not play fetch again with Max.

The Case of the Missing Keys Part 2
Last week, Ailin and I were going somewhere by car, and I was in a hurry. In the parking lot of our building, I stuck my keys in the keyhole of the code box to open the gate and then proceeded to drive off without taking my keys with me. This happens to people a lot, and usually the keys are either put on top of the box or are turned into the condo caretaker.

To make a long story short, when I came back hours later, the condo caretaker did not have my keys and neither did the box! I had to drive over to MIL's house and borrow her spare key, and then the caretaker lent me a key for the parking gate. He assured the keys would be turned in with a day or two.

Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk went down and asked him what could be done about the missing keys. After a few days, the caretaker offered to watch the security camera footage and see if he could solve the mystery. Somehow, and I am not sure how this happened, but Suk ended up viewing the footage with him and they thought they had caught the "thief" red-handed.

Speaking of red-handed, the "key thief" is someone who owns a red ferrari. The red ferrari-driving lady has two cars in her possession and was seen parking her red ferrari just after I left, and then leaving a a couple hours later in her other car. When she went to take her less-ritzy car out of the parking gate, her co-hort (could be a relative or friend) walked over and apparently grabbed my keys and they drove off with them.

It is complicated, I know. If it was just the butler in the dining room with the candlestick, life would be so much simpler. But it wasn't, and now the caretaker hung up some signs indicating that he is searching for the keys and if anyone has any information regarding their whereabouts, to please contact him.

Needless to say, I could understand if Red Ferrari Lady wants an extra parking gate key, but could she just give me back my house key? I don't feel so comfortable about another resident holding on to my house key!!!!!

Will keep you posted about my key mystery.

The Case of the 2 Pans
This could also be called "The Case of the Clumsy Science Flunky".

You know how when something that gets hot also expands a little bit? Then when it cools down, it contracts a little bit? Well, you may have forgotten this, but you learned about it in 8th grade science class.

The other night, I was in a rush to cook dinner, and I was using two pans of a approximately the same circumference. One was a big pot for cooking pasta in. The other was just a fry pan. After using the big pot, I had no where to set it as it was too hot to set directly on the counter top. So, I set it in the frying pan, which incidently, was also very hot as I had just finished using it.

Well, lo and behold, when I went back to do the dishes a few hours later, I found that these two pots were stuck together. I tried and tried to get them apart, but nothing doing.

The next day, I asked Suk to hold one while I hold the other and pull with our mights, but that didn't help either. Then he had this bright idea (did I ever mention how unbelievably handy Suk is?) to take a hammer and try to pound them and pry them apart. This only caused tiny jagged pieces of teflon and metal to fly about, and I could see the frying pan was slowing becoming a piece of shit...excuse my language.

(Incidentally, I just bought this teflon frying pan to replace the one that Suk scratched the coating off of when he "washed" it with a metal sponge. I guess he thought the teflon needed to scraped off as well as the food particles.)

So, anyway, not that we have any money right now, but we need to buy ourselves a new spaghetti pot and a new fry pan for Christmas.

Flickr Update

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandejlife/

I decided to update my flickr for the first time in 18 months. I just put my pages from Ailin's scrapbook on there. Rather than lug that heavy thing over to the States this Christmas, I thought I had better just take photos of the pages. Not as good as the real thing but you'll get the idea.

If you cannot access this and you want to, please let me know and I will send an invitation to you.

Thank you all for your kind comments. At least one of the photos stands out more than the others. It is certainly not the family photo, but that's okay. I will get over it. (By the way, my mom reads this blog and she commented that we all look quite stiff in the photos. I guess that is a no go for her birthday present. Oh well...)
I had to scan these JC Penneys photos anyway, so I thought I would put them up here to compare. They were taken during our trip to Wisconsin last summer. Ailin was 5 months old. There are a few more poses, but these are the ones I have on hand. Can you see the difference?

Stupido Arisu Part 2

I am sorry to have inadvertantly deceived anyone regarding half price coupons at Studio Alice. I checked further into it and it turns out that the half price coupons they hand out pertain to the sitting fee only. The sitting fee is 3000 yen at full price, but I heard that on weekly days, the price is reduced or free anyway. I did also hear that some photo studios have you pay a certain price PER POSE, so if you want your family or kids to try out 5 different poses, you will have to pay the price. I have to say that is a big rip off.

I decided to post my heinous Alice photos up here. One reason is because this story is kind of funny. I was really going for the natural look, and I wanted a close, affectionate familial pose. Imagine one where Suk and I hug Ailin close between us, and only our upper torsos and heads appear in the photo.


The other reason is I am so NOT putting any of these photos in our Christmas letter, so I might as well put them somewhere. They are barely passing inspection for wasting a page in her scrapbook album. Actually, one copy is supposed to be for MIL. And we got an 8x10 for my mom. I guess she will have to suffer looking that for a whole year or until we get another one made.

I have to say, in defense of Ailin, that she is so much cuter in real life. Without sounding like a stage mother or anything of the sort, she is the type of kid who always smiles these big wide, toothy grins. At Studio Alice, she did not crack one smile which was very out of character for her. Even that idiotic Disneyland- type photographer could not get her to smile with all her little "tricks and toys." I certainly don't want my Christmas card recipients to think that Ailin always looks this confused.