There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
Give this heart to everyone you don't want to lose in 2008,
including me, if you care.
Try to collect 12; it's not easy!
No, I am not going to forward it to 12 people who I don't want to lose in the year 2008. That is dumb. But, I do want to comment on a few things.
First, after posting my last entry, certain friends who are close to me and who knew about the situation, told me that it was too obvious. Well, I know when I am being obvious in my writing, but do I really care whether "Lara" reads it or not. There is no chance that Lara and I will ever be friends again, and I don't feel that I said anything particularly negative about her. Despite what happened, she is still a decent person and I am sure she is living a happy life. I think I made that quite clear in my entry.
Second, I alluded to a second break up which happened quite recently. I want to write about it in the worst way, but these same friends advised me not to. For one thing, it is too recent and still a bit raw (though not nearly as raw as the Lara thing left me). Also, there is a possibility that this person and I will make amends and begin our friendship anew. After all, we knew each other and were close for a long time before our friendship exploded into a million pieces. These friends advised that no matter what I write and how subtle I try to be, there is also the chance that it will be read by the person in question and that certain details about my workplace will be revealed. When it comes to my place of work, I would certainly not want this to get out. God forbid that one of my students were to read about it. So, because of these reasons, I cannot write the story of Break Up Chapter 2. Just try to imagine my pain and broken-heartedness, and think of all the people you have hurt in your past.
Tangent Warning:
I have hurt people too. (Mostly ex-boyfriends or guys who claimed to like me, and I certainly never cared much at the time.) But, during college, I became overwhelmed by the thought of breaking other people's hearts because someone (we'll call him C) broke my heart. It was partly my fault and I take full responsibility for some of the dumb choices I made, but when C finally dumped me for another girl (whom he eventually married and has kids with), I was stunned. I had never expected such a thing to happen to me. For several months, I attempted to lay low. I didn't want to date for fear of breaking someone's heart. I looked back on my past and regretted all the hearts I had left in the dust (all 3 of them). Then, I slowly got back in the saddle and started dating again, but lo and behold, the guy screwed me over. Then, it happened again, and I saw how easy it was for guys to screw over girls. I thought, "if they can do it, so can I!" So, I went on this rampage and started breaking hearts all over the place...only I don't think I was actually breaking any hearts. I doubt they were all that attached to me anyway, but I made sure to screw them over before they could beat me to the punch. This became tiring after a while. It comes so easy for guys (more power to them), but it just wasn't for me. Okay, why am I even talking about this? Obviously, you all know the end of the story. I eventually got back together with my high school "boyfriend" who I met while studying abroad in Japan and married him. So, none of that stuff mattered in the end.
End of Tangent
What is my point? Oh yeah, friends.
Keeping friends and losing friends is all a part of life. Although it's fun to wonder what would have happened if you had stayed in touch with so and so, it really doesn't matter. I once heard that a person can only manage 7 close friendships at a time. So, if you have 7 close friends and you meet someone new, most likely, you will end up distancing yourself from one of your current 7 in order to spend more time with your new friend. (I know you are now counting on your fingers right now!)
I actually agree with this theory. Do you?
