Mommy Brain

Is "mommy brain" just another way to blame someone else (your baby) for your forgetfulness, talent for losing things, ability to lose track of all thoughts and conversations, etc.?

I used to think not. In fact, up until a week ago, I would never have even uttered the two words "mommy" and "brain" in the same sentence. Up until a week ago, I could pretty much stay on track with everything, including conversations, my things, my baby's things, and whatever else I was supposed to be in charge of.

In fact, I was better than fine. I was and still am scrapbooking a few times a week and keeping on top of Ailin's book, and I even started a new album about my hometown. I was emailing people on a semi-regular basis, and I was even keeping up to date with family news, gossip and some Hollywood gossip. (Okay, so what if I never really had much interest in real news...thank god though because I doubt I could keep up.)

Then, the continued lack of sleep over time has somehow caught up with my brain, and I am now slowing down. Fuzziness has taken over as I rack my brain trying to remember the last sentence I said just 5 seconds ago. Or when I set something down and can't remember what it was or where I put it, and then I suddenly don't remember what I am looking for.

And, this might explain my problem with the lost keys. (Although Red Ferrari Lady is partly to blame for their continued loss...) Or the stupid pot being stuck in the pan. Did I forget that both were very hot? Then, just yesterday, Suk reminded my 5 times to give him Ailin's insurance card, and when he reminded me again this morning, and I had no idea where it was and I started to panic. 'It's gone. I don't know where it is. What! It should be right here, but it's not! Oh my god!!!" Suk opened the diaper bag and found it right away, amongst our bank account books.

This afternoon, as I waited for Ailin to settle down into a nap so I could get ready for the day. (Yes, I admit it, I was still not ready to go out and it was 2pm by then.) Of course, she refused to nap and just wanted to play. Oh, if Suk had been here, she'd be napping already!!!! Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and do the next best thing. I got ready quickly, rushed her out to the car and strapped her in seat. She fell asleep just after we began driving, and she stayed asleep for a good hour.

I, on the other hand, was also very sleepy, and I found myself nodding off at intersections while waiting for the light to turn green. I stopped at a gas station convenience store to buy coffee, coke and chocolate. When I opened my wallet to pay, there was NO money inside! I explained that I had money in the car and would be right back to pay. (I could only pray and hope that I actually did have money in the car.) After a bit of searching, I found a 10,000 yen bill, and I used that to pay. This 10,000 yen bill was meant for the revenue stamps for my renewal of spousal visa and re-entry permit, which brings me to my reason for bringing up this topic today.

Our reason for going outside today was so I could go to the immigration office and renew these two important documents. Without the spousal visa, which expires every three years, I cannot live in Japan. Without the re-entry permit, which also expires every three years, I cannot return to Japan to live should I leave for a vacation or something.

So, last week, I spent a couple evenings preparing all the documents I would need for these two procedures. I even downloaded the forms on-line and filled them out. I went around collecting all the documents I would need, and I thought I was ready to do this. I really wanted to start the process before leaving for the States on Thursday as it can take up to one month to process the spousal visa, and I don't want to be late like I was last time.

My friend advised that I arrive at the immigration office just before closing to ensure the shortest wait time. Makes sense to me. I clocked in about 10 minutes before the "take a number" machine was turned off. Then, I dutifully went downstairs to the post office and bought the stamps. I thought this would save me some time later.

I waited about 45 minutes and finally my number was called. Immediately, the lady told me that this was the wrong line for spousal visas. She only handles re-entry permits, and I should have taken a separate number for each line. I guess I would have known that if I had more carefully read the signs which clearly explain this fact just above the "take a number" machine!!! (Just because I can read doesn't mean my Mommy brain can process the information!) However, since it was the end of the day, she agreed to look at my papers and process both documents for me.

Turns out that I didn't have any of the correct documents and evidential information to show that my Japanese spouse does indeed exist. I needed to show a copy of his "resident card" and his "proof of income". The proof of income is to show that he can actually support me. Okay, so here's me and my mommy brain with it's screwy logic.

(Roughly translated into English)
"But, you see, my husband is a Japanese citizen. He doesn't have a resident card. The English explanation from the internet says nothing about bringing in a juminhyo."

"Well, a Juminhyo IS a resident card."

"Oh really? Because the phrase 'resident card' is not a good translation for juminhyo. I really didn't know that I needed his juminhyo."

(Um first of all, the juminhyo is NOT a card. It is a piece of paper which states the person's address. Basically, it is a proof of residence, and not what we would think of as a resident's card, which might be something that a foreigner keeps with him/her to prove that he has the right to reside in such and such country. In the USA, we do not have juminhyo. If we need to prove our residence, we show them a recent electric bill or something like that. Of course, I know what a juminhyo is, but I have never translated it in my head to resident's card, but I guess I will from now on!)

Then,
"You also need to show proof of his income. It says so right here."

"Why should I have to show proof of his income. I checked the box for "supporting self" and I brought in proof of my income."

"We don't care about your income. We only care about your spouse's income because you are living here on a SPOUSE visa."

"Yes, but I checked the box for SELF. And, I know my income has been low this year, but that's because I am on childcare leave, and actually, I am going back to work at the same place in February. I brought proof of my contract with my school, and it states my salary right here."

"Okay, it's very nice that you have a job, and that you are going back to work soon. That nice, really. But, frankly, we don't care about your income. We just want to know what your husband does. If he was here with you, he would be able to vouch for himself, but he's not, so we need evidence."

"Fine, I understand. I wanted to bring evidence of his income, but they don't release the paperwork until the very end of the year. And, you know this deadline for my visa is really bad timing, especially if I am supposed to start the process one month ahead of time."

"Well, you didn't have to start this early. You could have waited until after the new year."

(Get the picture? I could go on and on with this one. I am not sure why I was being difficult. I just felt so ... fuzzy.)

Another document I needed was a "Letter of Guarantee" that would be filled out by my spouse. I hadn't seen this on the internet, so I just ignored it when I saw it on the list of necessary documents. I mean, I figured it must not apply to me or something. I guess it did because the immigration officer was like,

"You are missing so many documents. Why didn't you come prepared? I am not sure why you would not have brought the letter of guarantee with you, or least your husband. I mean, if you can't read the Japanese explanations, you could have shown it to your husband, right?"

"Yes, but the explanations were also in English, and I thought I understood everything."

I must say though...she showed me the Japanese explanations of necessary documents, and it is one full page in very very small print. The English version is about 6 lines long, in very large print. TYPICAL!!! For those of you who live in Japan, you will understand exactly what I mean by that.

So, after I left, I kind of realized just how stupid I was. I had absolutely no proof that A. Suk actually exists and B. that Suk wants me to have a spouse visa. I do get it now.

Luckily for me though, I do not have to go back. She marked my applications as pending, and I just have to send in the rest of the documents. She even gave me an envelope to send them in. I'll just go back to pick up my visa and re-entry permit when they are ready in January.