And, I was doing so well for a while! Time really gets away from you when you suddenly go back to work and have a million other things going on. I really don't want to turn this into an update, but I'll just write briefly about what is currently happening.
1. Ailin loves her new day care. She has been there for almost one month and she seemed to like it from the first day.
2. Work is going splendidly...classes started a couple weeks ago, and most of them are going well. One class is giving me a bit of trouble, but I am not sure of the reason yet. Either the kids are "dumbasses" or I am making several small mistakes which lead to lesson plans not going as well as expected. I am sure it is a mixture of both.
3. A friend and I are are getting ready to launch a co-operative learning group called Bilingual Kids Club. We are planning to meet on Saturday mornings each week, and are still in the process of gathering enough members and finding the best location for the group. We are hoping to start meeting in May after Golden Week. Fingers crossed. It's harder to find members than I thought. I imagined that people would jump at the chance to join the BKC, as other groups like this exist throughout Japan, and some even have waiting lists. I think that once we get going, more people might be interested in joining...well, I hope that's what will happen.
4. I am also preparing to launch an on-line magazine, but am still working on the technical aspect of building my web site. I also need to recruit more writers, but have not been so active in doing that lately. I have so little time at night to work on my personal stuff, and I am often too tired to do much - I mean, everything takes a back seat to laundry these days. Anyway, as I get this web site built, I would like to put an open call out there to potential writers - if you live in Japan and want to write for this magazine which will be geared towards "gaijin", especially men and women who are in a relationship with Japanese, please contact me. I would like to see writing samples or a reference to other things you have written, and I will send information to you about my plans for the magazine along with the types of columns and articles I am looking for. Just email me privately!
5. The Gaijin Weight Loss Challenge - this topic deserves its own entry, so I will wait until later. But, in your mind, just imagine something like the TV Show, The Biggest Loser.
6. This is it for now. Like I said, this is not an update!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Miso Pork Butt and Other Things
My new scheme of weekly menu planning and cooking American and Japanese on alternate weeks is working all right. Not as much food is wasted, and less complaining from Suk. However, many of the recipes I have been using are brand new to me. I got a recipe from the AFWJ cookbook called Miso Pork Butt. It sounded appetizing...I mean, who doesn't want to eat Pig Butt? Suk thought it was hilarious that I was going around the meat section of the store asking them where the pork butt is located. They corrected me by telling me it was actually the pork thigh. So what? Pork Butt is much funner to say. So, anyway, I made the pork butt for the first ... and last ... time. Remember this, folks. Never ever cook miso. There is a reason why miso is always added last when cooking soup or miso based sauces. In fact, it is added last, after the heat has been turned off. In this case, according to said recipe, I was supposed to make a sauce using miso, pour it over the pork butt, and then let it simmer in the pot for 2 hours. 2 hours? I went into the livingroom to nurse the Ailin while the pork butt was simmering, and ten minutes later, it was burned to a crisp and there was a thick layer of black, charred something on the bottom of the pan. Need I describe to you the horrendous smell coming from the pot as well? This horrendous smell filled my house and stuck to everything - the clothes, the curtains, my hair, etc. I could not get rid of it easily, and my nose burned all night. Suk was not pleased when he got home and was welcomed by that miso stench. I really learned something new here. No more pork butt in this house, and definitely no more cooking of miso.
Other news: Suk and I are going on a date in Ginza tomorrow. Just shopping for electronics and then dinner. Yeah. Grandma will be taking care of Ailin.
I am now posting on my teaching blog, which I started last year just before going on maternity leave. I started working on it again, so please check it out if you are interested in English teaching. It is called "It's time for coffee talk" and you'll see the link at the top of my blog roll.
Ailin can now eat with a spoon. I am not sure, but she may have learned that at the daycare. You'd think they would write about such an accomplishment in her diary, but I haven't seen any references to spoons. She seems to be doing well there, but is very happy when I pick her up.
Other news: Suk and I are going on a date in Ginza tomorrow. Just shopping for electronics and then dinner. Yeah. Grandma will be taking care of Ailin.
I am now posting on my teaching blog, which I started last year just before going on maternity leave. I started working on it again, so please check it out if you are interested in English teaching. It is called "It's time for coffee talk" and you'll see the link at the top of my blog roll.
Ailin can now eat with a spoon. I am not sure, but she may have learned that at the daycare. You'd think they would write about such an accomplishment in her diary, but I haven't seen any references to spoons. She seems to be doing well there, but is very happy when I pick her up.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Mandeland
Things are going fine in Mandeland. Sorry I haven't gotten back here to update the saga of Supermom.
I went back to work on February 15 and was sick as a dog. I was even wearing a mask so as not to pass my then-unnamed disease onto my unsuspecting co-workers. I went to the doctor after school and demanded a diagnosis. I forced him to test me for influenza even though I had had an influenza shot back in November. I was negative and he insisted and I did not have bronchitis, pneumonia or anything else related to the lungs. I had what he termed "an especially bad cold." Hmmm. He gave me "especially strong drugs" and told me not to nurse for 5 days.
Okay, I'm not a doctor, but I have read some books, and I am acquainted with Dr Sears. According to Dr Sears, prescription and OTC drugs for things like colds are not going to do your baby in should you choose to take them while nursing. In fact, refusing to nurse your baby just because you are taking a little cold medicine is likely to piss your baby off and leave you feeling even worse. Nursing should be avoided, or at least carefully monitored, if you are on psycho drugs like Lithium, or cancer drugs. And, nursing should be avoided altogether if you are smoking (the) pot, snorting cocaine or injecting herione. So, I went home and nursed Ailin through the weekend and both us felt much better by Monday. Thank the lord.
After a bit of adjustment, she is doing well in day care. They love her, and she is happily playing, eating and sleeping there all day.
At work, I am busy with class-planning for the next school year, chatting with my colleagues, drinking coffee, going out for lunch occasionally and working on a few personal projects here and there. I have no classes right now since it is nearly the end of the school year, and my replacement has stayed on to finish out the year.
Ailin did have her birthday party with the Bilingual Baby Playgroup moms and their kids. Oh, I would have called it a first-class disaster, but according to some of the moms who attended, it was "really great." I don't know what impressed them more - the huge-ass Costco cake that would feed an army or the deflated baloon decorations that were hanging up since the originally planned birthday party two weeks before. Maybe it was the fact that Birthday Girl herself had decided to take a nap just before the guests arrived, and slept for most of the party. When she did awaken and I brought her out, she was in the worst mood ever. And, she got scared off by the living room full of people, so she cried and acted all clingy until everyone left. Then, she was in a fine mood. No, no, I think it was the horrible Star Wars-style sandstorm that was brewing outside during the party, and just when it was in full swing, I sent everyone home so they had to walk through the sand storm with their babies and strollers. Yes, yes, it had to be the last one. If I had been a guest, I would have really appreciated that thoughtful detail.
Well, moving on...it wasn't that bad. I was relieved to get it out of the way. I might avoid planning big birthday bashes in the future. You just never know when someone will get sick and all that prep time and food will go to waste. It's not really worth it.
Other than that, I am busy, but things are going smoother than I imagined they would. I really should be doing flylady-style housework right now, but instead, I am slacking on the computer. So, that's enough for now!
I went back to work on February 15 and was sick as a dog. I was even wearing a mask so as not to pass my then-unnamed disease onto my unsuspecting co-workers. I went to the doctor after school and demanded a diagnosis. I forced him to test me for influenza even though I had had an influenza shot back in November. I was negative and he insisted and I did not have bronchitis, pneumonia or anything else related to the lungs. I had what he termed "an especially bad cold." Hmmm. He gave me "especially strong drugs" and told me not to nurse for 5 days.
Okay, I'm not a doctor, but I have read some books, and I am acquainted with Dr Sears. According to Dr Sears, prescription and OTC drugs for things like colds are not going to do your baby in should you choose to take them while nursing. In fact, refusing to nurse your baby just because you are taking a little cold medicine is likely to piss your baby off and leave you feeling even worse. Nursing should be avoided, or at least carefully monitored, if you are on psycho drugs like Lithium, or cancer drugs. And, nursing should be avoided altogether if you are smoking (the) pot, snorting cocaine or injecting herione. So, I went home and nursed Ailin through the weekend and both us felt much better by Monday. Thank the lord.
After a bit of adjustment, she is doing well in day care. They love her, and she is happily playing, eating and sleeping there all day.
At work, I am busy with class-planning for the next school year, chatting with my colleagues, drinking coffee, going out for lunch occasionally and working on a few personal projects here and there. I have no classes right now since it is nearly the end of the school year, and my replacement has stayed on to finish out the year.
Ailin did have her birthday party with the Bilingual Baby Playgroup moms and their kids. Oh, I would have called it a first-class disaster, but according to some of the moms who attended, it was "really great." I don't know what impressed them more - the huge-ass Costco cake that would feed an army or the deflated baloon decorations that were hanging up since the originally planned birthday party two weeks before. Maybe it was the fact that Birthday Girl herself had decided to take a nap just before the guests arrived, and slept for most of the party. When she did awaken and I brought her out, she was in the worst mood ever. And, she got scared off by the living room full of people, so she cried and acted all clingy until everyone left. Then, she was in a fine mood. No, no, I think it was the horrible Star Wars-style sandstorm that was brewing outside during the party, and just when it was in full swing, I sent everyone home so they had to walk through the sand storm with their babies and strollers. Yes, yes, it had to be the last one. If I had been a guest, I would have really appreciated that thoughtful detail.
Well, moving on...it wasn't that bad. I was relieved to get it out of the way. I might avoid planning big birthday bashes in the future. You just never know when someone will get sick and all that prep time and food will go to waste. It's not really worth it.
Other than that, I am busy, but things are going smoother than I imagined they would. I really should be doing flylady-style housework right now, but instead, I am slacking on the computer. So, that's enough for now!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
A Sad Sad Story about Supermom and her Superkid
A sign has been made as part of the decorations. I used my new Cricut machine for the first time!
The table is set. The serving plates ready for their arrays of delicious baby-friendly finger foods that would have have been handmade by Mande, the Supermom.
The cake has been baked and frosted. All it needs is a little decoration.
Oh, but then something terrible happens. Supermom Amanda comes down with fever. She can no longer deny the sad fact...both Ailin and Supermom have bad, nasty colds with hacky coughing, sore throats, fevers, headaches...the list goes on. What to do?
Superdad to the rescue. He advises that the party should be cancelled or postponed.
Postponed? You mean, Supermom has to do this all over again? The cake? The decorations? The food? Impossible...
But, can we just fake it? I mean take some photos of Ailin with the cake, at least? At the very least?
The next morning. The party has been cancelled...decision about postponement to be announced at a later date. Right now, Supermom can't even think straight. (But she knows that if she were to attempt another party, all food and cake would come from Costco, and decorations would be miniscule.)
So, let's just set the table and pretend that a good time was had by all - minus the delicious finger foods which hadn't been made yet.
The sweetest cake in the world. Perhaps, Supermom thinks, this is a blessing in disguise. Japanese people would not really enjoy such a sugar rush.
Happy Birthday Dear Ailin...
Happy Birthday to me ... hee hee.
Oh, Supermom, you shouldn't have, really. You needn't have gone to all this trouble for li'l ol' me.
But, I do appreciate it and will cherish these photos always as the birthday party that never happened.
The End
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Can I just say...
Can I just say that I am SO looking forward to going back to work next week?
Okay, I know this is hard for some people to believe, but I love my job. I was made to work there, and that job was made for me. So, to have been given the opportunity to work there and then to be able to take and entire year off to be with my baby, and then STILL HAVE THE SAME JOB when I go back - that is such a blessing!
I am a high school teacher - specializing in the Intercultural program - at a public school where the kids are actually nice and pleasant to work with, overall. And, we get a lot of freedom in our lesson planning, so this is just the kind of thing I love.
When I was a kid, because my dad was an elementary school teacher, I also wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Then, I started junior high, and I wanted to be a junior high school teacher. Then, I went to high school, and well, you get the picture. At some point, I considered becoming a professor instead because then you can teach students who actually choose to be there. But, at my school now, the kids in the intercultural program did actually choose to apply for it, so I kind of got what I wanted.
Okay, it is not all roses and My Little Ponies, because there are always a few kids who are total idiots or who have no ability in English. And, there are a few teachers who just plain annoy me and everyone else. Oh, and we have had some issues with getting good quality native teachers on our staff, but all that aside, I am happy with this job.
I never thought I would say that about a job. I was never happy at my part time jobs through college and after. And, when I graduated from college, it wasn't long before I was disillusioned by the reality of working and building a career. There was no joy in it whatsoever!!!! I really wondered, "is this it? Am I going to be doing this for the next 20 years?" I knew there was no way up, and I needed to find another route. I was looking into grad school until I decided to get married and move to Japan. I knew I was giving up certain things to do this - material things like a car, my furniture, etc., and relationships with friends and family might suffer - but I also knew that eventually we would be able to purchase material things as we build a life together, and that I would make new friends in Japan. But, giving up my job at the time was sort of a blessing in disguise. I didn't realize how much I disliked it until later...until I didn't have to do it anymore.
(I was a field rep for a certain publishing company...no, it was a certain division of a very famous publishing company, and I was on the road almost every day. I was dirt poor, barely able to pay the bills and I was in debt. I had only $50 a month to spend on groceries and most of my lunches consisted of a can of Pringles and a cup of gas station coffee to keep me awake while driving. I couldn't afford anything more than that.)
I think that the above description would explain why, after all these years since cutting ties with that publishing company and never having contact with those co-workers or bosses again might explain why I STILL HAVE FLASHBACKS!!!
I have flashbacks of driving around an unfamiliar town searching for an elementary school, of sitting in a school library chatting away with a cold-hearted librarian, of doing the same with a very warm, cheerful librarian who wanted to know all about my wedding plans, of eating those damn pringles!, of arriving home exhausted to an empty fridge and napping on the couch until it was time to go to bed...it's a wonder I didn't lose weight.
Certainly, that job was not my calling. I am proud to be a high school teacher in Japan, and that I can work at a school in the same area where I live, so there is not a long commute to work. Anyway, one reason for writing on this topic was to explain that though I will miss Ailin and being with her every day, I do think she will gain something from being at day care. I am not saying this to justify going back to work. It's great that we could bond over the past year, and I have put some systems into place which can maximize our time together, so I don't feel guilty about going to work and leaving her at daycare. Plus, the daycare system here is pretty good. And, I must admit that I like living on a double income...I still have fears about empty fridges and living on pringles!!!!
And, now I must mention how truly sad I am because my co-worker (close friend and godfather to Ailin) will be leaving Japan. He got into grad school, so he will leave his job at the high school and go on to start his new life. I don't blame him. He needs to work on the next phase of his life, get into the business world, make some money, etc. Not everyone loves teaching as much as I do, but he was a good teacher, and I (along with the students) will be very sad to see him go. It also makes me envious because I still have dreams of going to grad school. Suk said I can once the kids have gone to college. Ha ha. By that time, I will be 50 years old!
Good luck, Karl. Come back and see your god-daughter when you can. This gives me an excuse to go and visit you in Seattle.
Okay, I know this is hard for some people to believe, but I love my job. I was made to work there, and that job was made for me. So, to have been given the opportunity to work there and then to be able to take and entire year off to be with my baby, and then STILL HAVE THE SAME JOB when I go back - that is such a blessing!
I am a high school teacher - specializing in the Intercultural program - at a public school where the kids are actually nice and pleasant to work with, overall. And, we get a lot of freedom in our lesson planning, so this is just the kind of thing I love.
When I was a kid, because my dad was an elementary school teacher, I also wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Then, I started junior high, and I wanted to be a junior high school teacher. Then, I went to high school, and well, you get the picture. At some point, I considered becoming a professor instead because then you can teach students who actually choose to be there. But, at my school now, the kids in the intercultural program did actually choose to apply for it, so I kind of got what I wanted.
Okay, it is not all roses and My Little Ponies, because there are always a few kids who are total idiots or who have no ability in English. And, there are a few teachers who just plain annoy me and everyone else. Oh, and we have had some issues with getting good quality native teachers on our staff, but all that aside, I am happy with this job.
I never thought I would say that about a job. I was never happy at my part time jobs through college and after. And, when I graduated from college, it wasn't long before I was disillusioned by the reality of working and building a career. There was no joy in it whatsoever!!!! I really wondered, "is this it? Am I going to be doing this for the next 20 years?" I knew there was no way up, and I needed to find another route. I was looking into grad school until I decided to get married and move to Japan. I knew I was giving up certain things to do this - material things like a car, my furniture, etc., and relationships with friends and family might suffer - but I also knew that eventually we would be able to purchase material things as we build a life together, and that I would make new friends in Japan. But, giving up my job at the time was sort of a blessing in disguise. I didn't realize how much I disliked it until later...until I didn't have to do it anymore.
(I was a field rep for a certain publishing company...no, it was a certain division of a very famous publishing company, and I was on the road almost every day. I was dirt poor, barely able to pay the bills and I was in debt. I had only $50 a month to spend on groceries and most of my lunches consisted of a can of Pringles and a cup of gas station coffee to keep me awake while driving. I couldn't afford anything more than that.)
I think that the above description would explain why, after all these years since cutting ties with that publishing company and never having contact with those co-workers or bosses again might explain why I STILL HAVE FLASHBACKS!!!
I have flashbacks of driving around an unfamiliar town searching for an elementary school, of sitting in a school library chatting away with a cold-hearted librarian, of doing the same with a very warm, cheerful librarian who wanted to know all about my wedding plans, of eating those damn pringles!, of arriving home exhausted to an empty fridge and napping on the couch until it was time to go to bed...it's a wonder I didn't lose weight.
Certainly, that job was not my calling. I am proud to be a high school teacher in Japan, and that I can work at a school in the same area where I live, so there is not a long commute to work. Anyway, one reason for writing on this topic was to explain that though I will miss Ailin and being with her every day, I do think she will gain something from being at day care. I am not saying this to justify going back to work. It's great that we could bond over the past year, and I have put some systems into place which can maximize our time together, so I don't feel guilty about going to work and leaving her at daycare. Plus, the daycare system here is pretty good. And, I must admit that I like living on a double income...I still have fears about empty fridges and living on pringles!!!!
And, now I must mention how truly sad I am because my co-worker (close friend and godfather to Ailin) will be leaving Japan. He got into grad school, so he will leave his job at the high school and go on to start his new life. I don't blame him. He needs to work on the next phase of his life, get into the business world, make some money, etc. Not everyone loves teaching as much as I do, but he was a good teacher, and I (along with the students) will be very sad to see him go. It also makes me envious because I still have dreams of going to grad school. Suk said I can once the kids have gone to college. Ha ha. By that time, I will be 50 years old!
Good luck, Karl. Come back and see your god-daughter when you can. This gives me an excuse to go and visit you in Seattle.
Monday, February 04, 2008
I do have some standards, people.
This is something I find myself saying quite often...mainly I just mumble it under my breath when a friend/family member or my husband does something to annoy me, or when I am alone with Ailin and I stop her from doing something really stupid.
But first, I must mention something that happened today. God, I was so embarrassed! I was about to check out at the cash register during my weekly shopping trip. Usually, Suk goes with me on Sundays, but yesterday, we had a big snowstorm (no, not big, windy or violent, it was soft and pretty and we were left with a blanket of snow in which my husband was deathly afraid to drive. Figures.), so we couldn't go shopping. Today, I managed to get out there and do the shopping with Ailin. As I was placing the overflowing basket on the counter, a cheap bottle of white wine fell out and shattered on the floor. It rolled towards the feet of another customer and she yelled out in surprise. Oh, gosh, what has the idiot gaijin done now?! I was horrified. About 6 months ago, the same thing happened with a container of tofu, but that was tofu. It made a small mess and no glass was involved. I was embarrassed then too, but I had already paid for it, so they just brought me another one right away. This time, no one offered to bring me a replacement bottle of wine, and I was way too embarrassed to go and get another one myself. In this case, I had not paid for the wine and I offered to anyway, but they waved me off. I really would have. That "you break it you buy it" policy you see in American movies doesn't apply in Japan, I guess. Well, I am not sure it actually happens in the USA either because I have only seen it in movies.
Okay, the real subject for tonight. These are my standards when it comes to the safety of my daughter.
1. When the dog has licked her mouth for more than 2 seconds, I immediately put a stop to it.
2. When she starts to play with the dog's water or food bowl, I move it or shut the door to the dog's room. (Yes, he has his own tiny 2-mat room, which basically is just a place for his indoor toilet and his water supply, and where he stays when we are gone.)
3. When she is interacting with other babies and it looks like she is about to scratch their eyes out. Hey, it happens - babies don't have much control over their limbs, so they tend to reach out and slap or pull at other people's faces or hair. It doesn't mean she has a violent tendency, but I would gather that other mom's don't like it.
4. When she is playing at the jidoukan play spaces, and she decides the floor vent is her new favorite toy, I attempt to redirect her again and again.
5. When she tries to play with the computer cords, I put a stop to that. (There are no other cords within reach for her in our apartment, thank god.)
I know there are more, but my point is that I notice others being so vigilent and strict with their babies, and I am just too laidback about some things. I mean, if you have read my last couple entries, you have gotten the feeling that Suk is overly-careful with her, and he often admonishes me for letting her crawl across the room, or letting her stand near the TV, or letting her play within 5 inches of the dog, etc. But, even out in the community, I notice that Japanese moms seem to be really careful about not allowing their baby to cause trouble of any kind. Today, I took her to a play space in Jusco, and there were about 5 other moms there. Every time this one baby came near us, his mom was right on top of him telling him not to yell out or get too close to us. I guess she thought he should be quiet in the play space.
Well, I am having trouble explaining myself here, but it reminds me a conversation I had with a friend last month. She had decided not to hang out with certain moms anymore because they were just too careful with their babies. Being the laidback person she is, she always had a hard time finding topics to talk about with them, and she always felt like she was being judged by them. That whole, "I can't believe she gave her daughter a french fry!" sort of judgemental attitude I was talking about before, and I agree with her. It is hard to be around those people all the time.
(By the way, not to invite pity from anyone, but I was dumped by one of those judgemental overly-careful moms a few months ago. We are no longer friends, and I am not sure why. I don't think it is related to our mothering styles, but whether it is or not, I find that life is much easier with out her in it. I no longer need to worry about every little thing, and whether we are doing everything right or not, and let's research to find out if this is okay or not, and what if this happens, and what do you think of so and so who lets her kid eat french fries...I could go on and on about this little drama that played out in my life last fall, but I will spare you the details.)
But first, I must mention something that happened today. God, I was so embarrassed! I was about to check out at the cash register during my weekly shopping trip. Usually, Suk goes with me on Sundays, but yesterday, we had a big snowstorm (no, not big, windy or violent, it was soft and pretty and we were left with a blanket of snow in which my husband was deathly afraid to drive. Figures.), so we couldn't go shopping. Today, I managed to get out there and do the shopping with Ailin. As I was placing the overflowing basket on the counter, a cheap bottle of white wine fell out and shattered on the floor. It rolled towards the feet of another customer and she yelled out in surprise. Oh, gosh, what has the idiot gaijin done now?! I was horrified. About 6 months ago, the same thing happened with a container of tofu, but that was tofu. It made a small mess and no glass was involved. I was embarrassed then too, but I had already paid for it, so they just brought me another one right away. This time, no one offered to bring me a replacement bottle of wine, and I was way too embarrassed to go and get another one myself. In this case, I had not paid for the wine and I offered to anyway, but they waved me off. I really would have. That "you break it you buy it" policy you see in American movies doesn't apply in Japan, I guess. Well, I am not sure it actually happens in the USA either because I have only seen it in movies.
Okay, the real subject for tonight. These are my standards when it comes to the safety of my daughter.
1. When the dog has licked her mouth for more than 2 seconds, I immediately put a stop to it.
2. When she starts to play with the dog's water or food bowl, I move it or shut the door to the dog's room. (Yes, he has his own tiny 2-mat room, which basically is just a place for his indoor toilet and his water supply, and where he stays when we are gone.)
3. When she is interacting with other babies and it looks like she is about to scratch their eyes out. Hey, it happens - babies don't have much control over their limbs, so they tend to reach out and slap or pull at other people's faces or hair. It doesn't mean she has a violent tendency, but I would gather that other mom's don't like it.
4. When she is playing at the jidoukan play spaces, and she decides the floor vent is her new favorite toy, I attempt to redirect her again and again.
5. When she tries to play with the computer cords, I put a stop to that. (There are no other cords within reach for her in our apartment, thank god.)
I know there are more, but my point is that I notice others being so vigilent and strict with their babies, and I am just too laidback about some things. I mean, if you have read my last couple entries, you have gotten the feeling that Suk is overly-careful with her, and he often admonishes me for letting her crawl across the room, or letting her stand near the TV, or letting her play within 5 inches of the dog, etc. But, even out in the community, I notice that Japanese moms seem to be really careful about not allowing their baby to cause trouble of any kind. Today, I took her to a play space in Jusco, and there were about 5 other moms there. Every time this one baby came near us, his mom was right on top of him telling him not to yell out or get too close to us. I guess she thought he should be quiet in the play space.
Well, I am having trouble explaining myself here, but it reminds me a conversation I had with a friend last month. She had decided not to hang out with certain moms anymore because they were just too careful with their babies. Being the laidback person she is, she always had a hard time finding topics to talk about with them, and she always felt like she was being judged by them. That whole, "I can't believe she gave her daughter a french fry!" sort of judgemental attitude I was talking about before, and I agree with her. It is hard to be around those people all the time.
(By the way, not to invite pity from anyone, but I was dumped by one of those judgemental overly-careful moms a few months ago. We are no longer friends, and I am not sure why. I don't think it is related to our mothering styles, but whether it is or not, I find that life is much easier with out her in it. I no longer need to worry about every little thing, and whether we are doing everything right or not, and let's research to find out if this is okay or not, and what if this happens, and what do you think of so and so who lets her kid eat french fries...I could go on and on about this little drama that played out in my life last fall, but I will spare you the details.)
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Random but not thoughtless
I just re-read the little blurb at the top of my blog, and I was like - okay, that obviously has not been working for me. Old friends from the USA barely ever email me or correspond with me, and phone calls are as rare as a 3 dollar bill. I know some read it without commenting, and that is okay, but they could at least email once in while and let me know what they are up to. I should probably change the blurb to something else anyway. And, this sort of reminds me of my mutating Christmas card list which as way too many people on it, most of whom NEVER email, write, call, send Xmas cards or acknowledge our friendship in any way. Still, I keep the hope alive by sending them Christmas cards with the annual letter, but my hope is dying people. As the years go by, I have noticed that my Xmas list grows to include many foreign friends I have made in Japan, who do actually correspond with me on a more regular basis, but I still send cards to people from my past "hoping against hope" that it will inspire some sort of response to come my way. Rarely does it work, so I am hereby making the tough decision to cross them off the list. This is not a threat to any of you reading the blog...you see, I am sure if you know about my blog, then you are not one of those people. I am just venting a little bit here and wondering if others have the same problem.
Now, I am obsessed with many things, and I want to share them with you. My mom sometimes warns me when I "obsessing", and she is right. Maybe sharing with you will help me pull back a little.
1. Morning Routine Schedules and how to get everything done and get us out of the house on time.
2. Housekeeping schedule and how to keep the house relatively clean with little effort.
3. Hillary Clinton
4. Hillary and her health care plan
5. The fact that the democrats have offered up two candidates - a woman and a black man - and doesn't that mean our world is really changing? I shouldn't say "world" though because other countries do have female leaders. Doesn't that mean our country is really changing.
6. What Bill would be like as a "first lady". (Hopefully not as snippy as he has been lately.)
7. What Bill will look like in a red dress for the Fight Against Heart Disease campaign.
8. Blazers - looking to buy a couple of nice blazers for work, but can't find any on the racks yet.
Okay, that is only 8 things so I am doing pretty well this week. Here is what my husband seems to be obsessed about recently:
1. Himself
2. Food
3. Sleep and lack thereof
4. Sports
5. Making sure the baby doesn't get "dirty."
6. Making sure the baby doesn't get "hurt."
7. Smell Things
I warned him that I would blog about #7. He refers to anything like popourri, incense, room deoderizers, etc. as "smell things." So, whenever we go to the store, he always says we need to buy some smell things. It has been going on for so long an so often, that I forgot what these things are called in English. So, when I write a shopping list, I write "Smell Things" on it.
As for #5 and #6, can I just clarify that my husband thinks the baby will die or get seriously hurt (or dirty) at any given moment? And, when he is at home (which, thank god, is only in the early mornings and on weekends), he will not allow her to crawl around and explore the house for fear that she will ... god forbid ... get dirty. She is also not allowed to go near Max or touch him. So, he carries her around or keeps her confined to the couch, and when he can't do that, he puts her in the crib or playpen (and she screams and cries) or he hands her off to me. And, I am expected to carry her on my hip and do whatever the heck I am trying to do because anything is better than letting her crawl around. Of course, when he is not at home (and let's hope he doesn't read this), she has more freedom to explore, and since everything is child-proofed, there is little chance of her getting hurt. Okay, she might get some dog hair on her, and even some dust, but it's not going to kill her. Is it just my husband who obsesses about this? Or do others have similar experiences? Or am I just a really bad mother?
Now, I am obsessed with many things, and I want to share them with you. My mom sometimes warns me when I "obsessing", and she is right. Maybe sharing with you will help me pull back a little.
1. Morning Routine Schedules and how to get everything done and get us out of the house on time.
2. Housekeeping schedule and how to keep the house relatively clean with little effort.
3. Hillary Clinton
4. Hillary and her health care plan
5. The fact that the democrats have offered up two candidates - a woman and a black man - and doesn't that mean our world is really changing? I shouldn't say "world" though because other countries do have female leaders. Doesn't that mean our country is really changing.
6. What Bill would be like as a "first lady". (Hopefully not as snippy as he has been lately.)
7. What Bill will look like in a red dress for the Fight Against Heart Disease campaign.
8. Blazers - looking to buy a couple of nice blazers for work, but can't find any on the racks yet.
Okay, that is only 8 things so I am doing pretty well this week. Here is what my husband seems to be obsessed about recently:
1. Himself
2. Food
3. Sleep and lack thereof
4. Sports
5. Making sure the baby doesn't get "dirty."
6. Making sure the baby doesn't get "hurt."
7. Smell Things
I warned him that I would blog about #7. He refers to anything like popourri, incense, room deoderizers, etc. as "smell things." So, whenever we go to the store, he always says we need to buy some smell things. It has been going on for so long an so often, that I forgot what these things are called in English. So, when I write a shopping list, I write "Smell Things" on it.
As for #5 and #6, can I just clarify that my husband thinks the baby will die or get seriously hurt (or dirty) at any given moment? And, when he is at home (which, thank god, is only in the early mornings and on weekends), he will not allow her to crawl around and explore the house for fear that she will ... god forbid ... get dirty. She is also not allowed to go near Max or touch him. So, he carries her around or keeps her confined to the couch, and when he can't do that, he puts her in the crib or playpen (and she screams and cries) or he hands her off to me. And, I am expected to carry her on my hip and do whatever the heck I am trying to do because anything is better than letting her crawl around. Of course, when he is not at home (and let's hope he doesn't read this), she has more freedom to explore, and since everything is child-proofed, there is little chance of her getting hurt. Okay, she might get some dog hair on her, and even some dust, but it's not going to kill her. Is it just my husband who obsesses about this? Or do others have similar experiences? Or am I just a really bad mother?
Friday, February 01, 2008
Ailin Stories
I know I don't write much about Ailin, but I thought maybe I should write a little bit about her sometimes. Here is something from just week.
Yesterday, Ailin was playing among her toys which were spread out on the living floor. She came upon Max's orange bone. She picked it up and looked over at Max, who was sleeping on the couch. Then, she crawled over to him, stood up, patted him on the back and handed him his bone. I was like, "watch that little brain work!!!"
Today, she went to daycare for the first time. She only had to stay for 2 hours. When I picked her up, her caregiver said that Ailin cried at first, but then they played some music and she was "singing" along to the music, and after that she was fine. As I was carrying her out to the elevator and we waited for the elevator, the first thing she said to me was, "Ma!" You know what that means, right? That was her first word, and no, it does not mean "Mama". She is talking about Max!
Yesterday, Ailin was playing among her toys which were spread out on the living floor. She came upon Max's orange bone. She picked it up and looked over at Max, who was sleeping on the couch. Then, she crawled over to him, stood up, patted him on the back and handed him his bone. I was like, "watch that little brain work!!!"
Today, she went to daycare for the first time. She only had to stay for 2 hours. When I picked her up, her caregiver said that Ailin cried at first, but then they played some music and she was "singing" along to the music, and after that she was fine. As I was carrying her out to the elevator and we waited for the elevator, the first thing she said to me was, "Ma!" You know what that means, right? That was her first word, and no, it does not mean "Mama". She is talking about Max!
How They Met
I just want to call attention to my sister's blog. Her latest entry is the story of how our parents met, and it's pretty interesting. Please check it out! If you click on the title of this blog entry, it will take you to the right place, or just click on Hidden Passages in my Fave Blogs section.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Eating in General
Last fall, I wrote an article about cooking for my column ("Surviving Japan") in the AFWJ Journal. It has not been published yet because the editor misplaced it and neglected it to to put it in the December issue, so I am hoping it makes it in the February issue. Anyway, Deenster wrote about this topic on her blog recently, and I thought I would comment, but I had been considering writing about some of my recent discoveries regarding cooking. This is a topic I never tire of!
In my article, I focused on the evolution of my cooking repertoire and attitude especially in relation to a picky/critical Japanese husband. To be honest, it took me a long time to get to the point where I could actually write about it because I was so hyper-sensitive about the topic of cooking. So, in the article, I talked about my attitude towards cooking, being that I cook what I want to cook, and if Suk wants something in particular, he can make it on Sunday nights, which is traditionally HIS night to cook. (Or we can go to his mom's for dinner where she will cook whatever he requests.) Having a child has sort of lead to my appreciation of cooking much more though. Now, I want to challenge myself more because I have someone to cook for. Okay, okay, she can't eat most of the things I make, but for now, I am just in practice mode. I have tried the slow-cooker thing, but Suk hated almost everything that was made the slow cooker. I thought he was crazy, but my best friend (Shannon) admitted to hating slow cooker food as well. Guess he is not so crazy after all. So, then, I thought casseroles would be the way to go, especially in winter. However, casseroles are not so trendy these days. I did manage to procure a Casserole Cookbook from my grandma over the winter break. It was published in 1965 and is a collection of favorite recipes from Home Ec teachers. Well, if any of you can remember what Home Ec class was like in junior high, you might not want a book of recipes that your teacher recommended - no offense to anyone. And, since I am going back to work in a couple weeks, I too have been struck with the dilemma of what to cook quickly when I get home from work and still be able to hang out with my daughter, and also what can be prepared in advance. After some research and deliberation (and discussion with Suk about how best to carry this plan out.), I came up with the following:
I recently purchased the book "Saving Dinner" by one of the women who works for Flylady. I do not follow all of flylady's principles, but I was interested in some of her organizational tips, as well as this book. This book offers weekly menu plans for an entire year along with shopping lists for each week. The menu plans are seasonal based, so when you start using the book, begin in the season you are currently in. That way, the veggies you go to shop for are all in season. There are only 6 entrees per week as I think the author assumes that you go out to eat or order in at least once a week, or you have a special family recipe you would rather cook. Anyway, the beauty of it is the shopping list makes it easy for you to do all the shopping at once, and the recipes are very easy and they taste great!!!! If you had time, you could make menus and shopping lists yourself, which brings me to my next point.
Suk would probably not be happy (and it wouldn't be economical) if we ate American food every night for an entire year. So, I decided to alternate between American and Japanese. So, one week, I use the Saving Dinner book and the next week, I plan a menu of all Japanese foods. There are plenty of easy Japanese recipes out there - grilled fish, udon with store-bought tempura, braised chicken, etc. Nowadays, many things are ready-made such as the veggie mix for the braised chicken recipe.
After two weeks on this new shopping/cooking plan, here are my thoughts:
The Saving Dinner cookbook offers easy recipes that do not require tons of ingredients (my pet peeve) and are quite tasty. They work great as leftovers or for lunch the next day. Many of the recipes include some veggies within the main entree, which to you means "one-pot cooking." That is every busy person's dream, but they do suggest side dishes that you can serve as well - steamed veggies, salads, rolls. All very very simple side dishes, however if you don't have time to prepare that stuff, no one will miss it!! One thing that might help make things go quicker would be to get a food processor. Look over the recipes on Sunday night, and prep as much as possible ahead of time. For example, this week, every recipe required at least one diced onion. I would have liked to have diced all those onions at once so that I could just use them as I needed them. Also, prepping the veggies for steaming or for salads would have been nice. Then, I could have just thrown a few in the steamer or into a salad bowl while cooking the entree. Instead, this week, I just went without side dishes because I didn't have time to prepare them. To be honest though, we didn't feel like we were missing out. Dinners during the week don't really require all the bells and whistles, do they?
Cooking Japanese food was not so bad last week. I think only two of the recipes I used were brand new to me, and according to my "always-tell-the-truth-no-matter-what" husband, they turned out perfectly. I had purchased a "Basic Japanese Cooking" book in Japanese, and just used the photos to guide me along. I can read about 80% of the Japanese, so when I came across something I wasn't sure about, I just improvised. No big deal at all, and I was happy with everything.
In terms of making things that Ailin could eat, she wasn't able to try everything, but most of the Japanese food was okay for her. I let her try some of the American food from Saving dinner as well, but I still had to give her supplemental "just-for-Ailin" food.
One reason I am really excited about my new cooking plan is that I have finally started to lose weight since beginning it. Also, I am no longer drinking coke and that might have something to do with it, but losing weight only motivates me more to keep up with this cooking plan.
On Sunday nights, my husband is still in charge of cooking, and we usually go out to eat for one other meal on the weekends - lunch or Saturday dinner. Or, if I feel inspired and I offer (but only when I offer, there is never pressure from Suk) to cook on Saturday nights, I will make something extra special because that is the only time Suk can eat my cooking hot and fresh.
In my article, I focused on the evolution of my cooking repertoire and attitude especially in relation to a picky/critical Japanese husband. To be honest, it took me a long time to get to the point where I could actually write about it because I was so hyper-sensitive about the topic of cooking. So, in the article, I talked about my attitude towards cooking, being that I cook what I want to cook, and if Suk wants something in particular, he can make it on Sunday nights, which is traditionally HIS night to cook. (Or we can go to his mom's for dinner where she will cook whatever he requests.) Having a child has sort of lead to my appreciation of cooking much more though. Now, I want to challenge myself more because I have someone to cook for. Okay, okay, she can't eat most of the things I make, but for now, I am just in practice mode. I have tried the slow-cooker thing, but Suk hated almost everything that was made the slow cooker. I thought he was crazy, but my best friend (Shannon) admitted to hating slow cooker food as well. Guess he is not so crazy after all. So, then, I thought casseroles would be the way to go, especially in winter. However, casseroles are not so trendy these days. I did manage to procure a Casserole Cookbook from my grandma over the winter break. It was published in 1965 and is a collection of favorite recipes from Home Ec teachers. Well, if any of you can remember what Home Ec class was like in junior high, you might not want a book of recipes that your teacher recommended - no offense to anyone. And, since I am going back to work in a couple weeks, I too have been struck with the dilemma of what to cook quickly when I get home from work and still be able to hang out with my daughter, and also what can be prepared in advance. After some research and deliberation (and discussion with Suk about how best to carry this plan out.), I came up with the following:
I recently purchased the book "Saving Dinner" by one of the women who works for Flylady. I do not follow all of flylady's principles, but I was interested in some of her organizational tips, as well as this book. This book offers weekly menu plans for an entire year along with shopping lists for each week. The menu plans are seasonal based, so when you start using the book, begin in the season you are currently in. That way, the veggies you go to shop for are all in season. There are only 6 entrees per week as I think the author assumes that you go out to eat or order in at least once a week, or you have a special family recipe you would rather cook. Anyway, the beauty of it is the shopping list makes it easy for you to do all the shopping at once, and the recipes are very easy and they taste great!!!! If you had time, you could make menus and shopping lists yourself, which brings me to my next point.
Suk would probably not be happy (and it wouldn't be economical) if we ate American food every night for an entire year. So, I decided to alternate between American and Japanese. So, one week, I use the Saving Dinner book and the next week, I plan a menu of all Japanese foods. There are plenty of easy Japanese recipes out there - grilled fish, udon with store-bought tempura, braised chicken, etc. Nowadays, many things are ready-made such as the veggie mix for the braised chicken recipe.
After two weeks on this new shopping/cooking plan, here are my thoughts:
The Saving Dinner cookbook offers easy recipes that do not require tons of ingredients (my pet peeve) and are quite tasty. They work great as leftovers or for lunch the next day. Many of the recipes include some veggies within the main entree, which to you means "one-pot cooking." That is every busy person's dream, but they do suggest side dishes that you can serve as well - steamed veggies, salads, rolls. All very very simple side dishes, however if you don't have time to prepare that stuff, no one will miss it!! One thing that might help make things go quicker would be to get a food processor. Look over the recipes on Sunday night, and prep as much as possible ahead of time. For example, this week, every recipe required at least one diced onion. I would have liked to have diced all those onions at once so that I could just use them as I needed them. Also, prepping the veggies for steaming or for salads would have been nice. Then, I could have just thrown a few in the steamer or into a salad bowl while cooking the entree. Instead, this week, I just went without side dishes because I didn't have time to prepare them. To be honest though, we didn't feel like we were missing out. Dinners during the week don't really require all the bells and whistles, do they?
Cooking Japanese food was not so bad last week. I think only two of the recipes I used were brand new to me, and according to my "always-tell-the-truth-no-matter-what" husband, they turned out perfectly. I had purchased a "Basic Japanese Cooking" book in Japanese, and just used the photos to guide me along. I can read about 80% of the Japanese, so when I came across something I wasn't sure about, I just improvised. No big deal at all, and I was happy with everything.
In terms of making things that Ailin could eat, she wasn't able to try everything, but most of the Japanese food was okay for her. I let her try some of the American food from Saving dinner as well, but I still had to give her supplemental "just-for-Ailin" food.
One reason I am really excited about my new cooking plan is that I have finally started to lose weight since beginning it. Also, I am no longer drinking coke and that might have something to do with it, but losing weight only motivates me more to keep up with this cooking plan.
On Sunday nights, my husband is still in charge of cooking, and we usually go out to eat for one other meal on the weekends - lunch or Saturday dinner. Or, if I feel inspired and I offer (but only when I offer, there is never pressure from Suk) to cook on Saturday nights, I will make something extra special because that is the only time Suk can eat my cooking hot and fresh.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Eating Words
I know, I know...it's been a while and I had promised I would write more. I was going to write another update since it had been so long. One reason for neglecting to write is because my family apparently reads my blog, and they don't like it. So, I felt a little gun-shy about writing anything. However, I do like to write, and if they don't like it, no one is forcing them to read it. Out of respect to them though, I will try (once again) not to complain about anyone or write about "private" stuff.
What I wanted to write about today is my thoughts regarding motherhood. It is hard to believe that one year ago, I was waddling around, barely able to move, biding my time with activities like maternity swimming, reading novels, walking with the dog, etc. I could never find a comfortable position to sleep in and so was always tossing and turning all night. I also remember reading a novel about the ancestry of a Canadian family. It was a thick novel and took me about 3 weeks to get through, and at the time, I kept thinking, "Is this going to be the last book I read before becoming a mom...who knows when I will be able to read a book again, and here I am, wasting it on this piece of crap." Actually, the book wasn't so bad, but I could have spent that last 3 weeks reading 5 shorter (better, more exciting) novels rather than that sleeper.
Until that time, I often had conversations with friends about what kind of mom I would be and what my position was on various topics, such as breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Little did I know that I would be eating my words someday. I mean, warning to all moms-to-be...never say you won't do something, or my baby is going to be like this, or I believe this is the best way to blah, blah, blah unless you enjoy the taste of your words later on. And, I also remember chatting with friends about "other friends who do such and such with their babies and can you believe that???".
Here is a short list of what I am referring to...in my own life.
Topics that Divide
There are certain topics that people seem to feel strongly one way or the other about. Before being pregnant, I probably had no opinion about these topics, and then suddenly, after being pregnant, I was very opinionated about them. Then, I had the baby, and I realized there is so much gray area...you can't even see the light on these matters and therefore, it is better to shut up rather than go around lecturing your friends about the ins and outs of these topics.
1. Breastfeeding versus Bottle-feeding
Both methods nurture your baby. Both force you to hold or cuddle your baby. Both give your baby nourishment. Both have advantages and disadvantages. It doesn't help your friends when you admonish them for A. not being able to breastfeed, B. choosing to formula-feed, C. breastfeeding longer than one year, C. breastfeeding in public, D. not always wearing appropriate attire to nurse the baby in in a very modest way, E. deciding that pumping and having someone else feed the baby while you go have fun is just NOT your way. I am sure there is more I could say, but this is my way of reminding myself and others to "LET THEM BE!" Every mom makes her choices about feeding the baby, and they are just that...her choices.
2. Starting Solids at a Certain Age
Some start as early as 3 months. Others wait until 7 or 8 months. Either way, you are going to hear about it from someone. In the USA, the current recommendation is to wait until 7 months, and in Japan, the old way (our MIL's way) was to start at 3 months. Of course, Japanese doctors recommend 6 or 7 months, and by this time, your head is spinning! Oh, and then there is the issue about making all your own food (like a good little mommy) or buying pre-made stuff. Just to note, I have tasted the pre-made stuff, and your cooking will probably taste better, but if you have issues with time, pre-made stuff is always good to have around.
3. Sleeping No-cry/Cry it out
There are a thousand ways to soothe a baby to sleep, and everyone develops their own routine. Some people are against allowing their babies to cry, even for 3 minutes. Others don't seem to be bothered as long as the baby falls asleep after 5 minutes. I seem to be of the second school of thought, but Suk is most definitely of the first. So, each weekend, we are/were conflicted about what to do when she cries. Weekdays, thankfully, are not a problem since he is always working. As for people's feelings about this - what works for you at 3 months might not work for you at 10 minutes, so always be ready to "eat those words" and change what you are doing. (I just had to change part of this paragraph to present tense because, guess what, this is STILL an issue.
4. Co-Sleeping Versus Crib
Well, well, well...those accusatory questions that comes from friends (especially those who have not yet had babies) and family (who raised their children in the '70s), "You don't sleep together, do you? I mean, you want her sleeping with you when she is five?" I was one who said that my baby would love sleeping in her crib in her own room and that I definitely would need my own space. Then, I became a sleep-deprived, nursing mom, and suddenly sleeping next to my baby never looked so good. It took some convincing for my husband to allow this, and I even had to ask our pediatrician to speak with him about the benefits before he agreed that sleeping was important for me. We still do co-sleep, and she nurses throughout the night - waking several times to nurse and then fall asleep again. But, the main reason she does not sleep in her crib is because we never got around to buying an air conditioner/heater for her room, so in the summer it was too hot, and now it is too cold. Thus, we never had a chance to make the big transition. Advantages of co-sleeping though, for me, outweigh the disadvantages. Yes, we have a crib and it is very pretty. But, she screams bloody murder when we set her in it even for 10 seconds, so I am guessing that she doesn't love her crib.
5. Play pen versus Free play
I made that up...free play. In our house, free play means that one's toys are all over the floor, mixed in with the dog's chew toys, and both the dog and baby are playing with whatever they want, including the garbage can, Mom's address book, Mom's magazines, the TV remotes, etc. I bought the play pen so that she and her toys could be safe from the dog, and I said, "Not to worry. My baby will love being in her play pen because I will MAKE her love it." HA! She was okay when all she could do was lay there or sit there. Same with the crib. Once she could crawl and stand, she definitely prefers "free play." If you like hearing your kid scream bloody murder, put her in the play pen for more than 30 seconds.
I cannot think of more points at this time, but these are ones that constantly come up, even now. Ailin will be ONE in a couple weeks, and we are excitedly planning her birthday party. And, with that, I will go back to work on the day of her birthday. What a way to celebrate!!!!
What I wanted to write about today is my thoughts regarding motherhood. It is hard to believe that one year ago, I was waddling around, barely able to move, biding my time with activities like maternity swimming, reading novels, walking with the dog, etc. I could never find a comfortable position to sleep in and so was always tossing and turning all night. I also remember reading a novel about the ancestry of a Canadian family. It was a thick novel and took me about 3 weeks to get through, and at the time, I kept thinking, "Is this going to be the last book I read before becoming a mom...who knows when I will be able to read a book again, and here I am, wasting it on this piece of crap." Actually, the book wasn't so bad, but I could have spent that last 3 weeks reading 5 shorter (better, more exciting) novels rather than that sleeper.
Until that time, I often had conversations with friends about what kind of mom I would be and what my position was on various topics, such as breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Little did I know that I would be eating my words someday. I mean, warning to all moms-to-be...never say you won't do something, or my baby is going to be like this, or I believe this is the best way to blah, blah, blah unless you enjoy the taste of your words later on. And, I also remember chatting with friends about "other friends who do such and such with their babies and can you believe that???".
Here is a short list of what I am referring to...in my own life.
Topics that Divide
There are certain topics that people seem to feel strongly one way or the other about. Before being pregnant, I probably had no opinion about these topics, and then suddenly, after being pregnant, I was very opinionated about them. Then, I had the baby, and I realized there is so much gray area...you can't even see the light on these matters and therefore, it is better to shut up rather than go around lecturing your friends about the ins and outs of these topics.
1. Breastfeeding versus Bottle-feeding
Both methods nurture your baby. Both force you to hold or cuddle your baby. Both give your baby nourishment. Both have advantages and disadvantages. It doesn't help your friends when you admonish them for A. not being able to breastfeed, B. choosing to formula-feed, C. breastfeeding longer than one year, C. breastfeeding in public, D. not always wearing appropriate attire to nurse the baby in in a very modest way, E. deciding that pumping and having someone else feed the baby while you go have fun is just NOT your way. I am sure there is more I could say, but this is my way of reminding myself and others to "LET THEM BE!" Every mom makes her choices about feeding the baby, and they are just that...her choices.
2. Starting Solids at a Certain Age
Some start as early as 3 months. Others wait until 7 or 8 months. Either way, you are going to hear about it from someone. In the USA, the current recommendation is to wait until 7 months, and in Japan, the old way (our MIL's way) was to start at 3 months. Of course, Japanese doctors recommend 6 or 7 months, and by this time, your head is spinning! Oh, and then there is the issue about making all your own food (like a good little mommy) or buying pre-made stuff. Just to note, I have tasted the pre-made stuff, and your cooking will probably taste better, but if you have issues with time, pre-made stuff is always good to have around.
3. Sleeping No-cry/Cry it out
There are a thousand ways to soothe a baby to sleep, and everyone develops their own routine. Some people are against allowing their babies to cry, even for 3 minutes. Others don't seem to be bothered as long as the baby falls asleep after 5 minutes. I seem to be of the second school of thought, but Suk is most definitely of the first. So, each weekend, we are/were conflicted about what to do when she cries. Weekdays, thankfully, are not a problem since he is always working. As for people's feelings about this - what works for you at 3 months might not work for you at 10 minutes, so always be ready to "eat those words" and change what you are doing. (I just had to change part of this paragraph to present tense because, guess what, this is STILL an issue.
4. Co-Sleeping Versus Crib
Well, well, well...those accusatory questions that comes from friends (especially those who have not yet had babies) and family (who raised their children in the '70s), "You don't sleep together, do you? I mean, you want her sleeping with you when she is five?" I was one who said that my baby would love sleeping in her crib in her own room and that I definitely would need my own space. Then, I became a sleep-deprived, nursing mom, and suddenly sleeping next to my baby never looked so good. It took some convincing for my husband to allow this, and I even had to ask our pediatrician to speak with him about the benefits before he agreed that sleeping was important for me. We still do co-sleep, and she nurses throughout the night - waking several times to nurse and then fall asleep again. But, the main reason she does not sleep in her crib is because we never got around to buying an air conditioner/heater for her room, so in the summer it was too hot, and now it is too cold. Thus, we never had a chance to make the big transition. Advantages of co-sleeping though, for me, outweigh the disadvantages. Yes, we have a crib and it is very pretty. But, she screams bloody murder when we set her in it even for 10 seconds, so I am guessing that she doesn't love her crib.
5. Play pen versus Free play
I made that up...free play. In our house, free play means that one's toys are all over the floor, mixed in with the dog's chew toys, and both the dog and baby are playing with whatever they want, including the garbage can, Mom's address book, Mom's magazines, the TV remotes, etc. I bought the play pen so that she and her toys could be safe from the dog, and I said, "Not to worry. My baby will love being in her play pen because I will MAKE her love it." HA! She was okay when all she could do was lay there or sit there. Same with the crib. Once she could crawl and stand, she definitely prefers "free play." If you like hearing your kid scream bloody murder, put her in the play pen for more than 30 seconds.
I cannot think of more points at this time, but these are ones that constantly come up, even now. Ailin will be ONE in a couple weeks, and we are excitedly planning her birthday party. And, with that, I will go back to work on the day of her birthday. What a way to celebrate!!!!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Mommy Brain
Is "mommy brain" just another way to blame someone else (your baby) for your forgetfulness, talent for losing things, ability to lose track of all thoughts and conversations, etc.?
I used to think not. In fact, up until a week ago, I would never have even uttered the two words "mommy" and "brain" in the same sentence. Up until a week ago, I could pretty much stay on track with everything, including conversations, my things, my baby's things, and whatever else I was supposed to be in charge of.
In fact, I was better than fine. I was and still am scrapbooking a few times a week and keeping on top of Ailin's book, and I even started a new album about my hometown. I was emailing people on a semi-regular basis, and I was even keeping up to date with family news, gossip and some Hollywood gossip. (Okay, so what if I never really had much interest in real news...thank god though because I doubt I could keep up.)
Then, the continued lack of sleep over time has somehow caught up with my brain, and I am now slowing down. Fuzziness has taken over as I rack my brain trying to remember the last sentence I said just 5 seconds ago. Or when I set something down and can't remember what it was or where I put it, and then I suddenly don't remember what I am looking for.
And, this might explain my problem with the lost keys. (Although Red Ferrari Lady is partly to blame for their continued loss...) Or the stupid pot being stuck in the pan. Did I forget that both were very hot? Then, just yesterday, Suk reminded my 5 times to give him Ailin's insurance card, and when he reminded me again this morning, and I had no idea where it was and I started to panic. 'It's gone. I don't know where it is. What! It should be right here, but it's not! Oh my god!!!" Suk opened the diaper bag and found it right away, amongst our bank account books.
This afternoon, as I waited for Ailin to settle down into a nap so I could get ready for the day. (Yes, I admit it, I was still not ready to go out and it was 2pm by then.) Of course, she refused to nap and just wanted to play. Oh, if Suk had been here, she'd be napping already!!!! Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and do the next best thing. I got ready quickly, rushed her out to the car and strapped her in seat. She fell asleep just after we began driving, and she stayed asleep for a good hour.
I, on the other hand, was also very sleepy, and I found myself nodding off at intersections while waiting for the light to turn green. I stopped at a gas station convenience store to buy coffee, coke and chocolate. When I opened my wallet to pay, there was NO money inside! I explained that I had money in the car and would be right back to pay. (I could only pray and hope that I actually did have money in the car.) After a bit of searching, I found a 10,000 yen bill, and I used that to pay. This 10,000 yen bill was meant for the revenue stamps for my renewal of spousal visa and re-entry permit, which brings me to my reason for bringing up this topic today.
Our reason for going outside today was so I could go to the immigration office and renew these two important documents. Without the spousal visa, which expires every three years, I cannot live in Japan. Without the re-entry permit, which also expires every three years, I cannot return to Japan to live should I leave for a vacation or something.
So, last week, I spent a couple evenings preparing all the documents I would need for these two procedures. I even downloaded the forms on-line and filled them out. I went around collecting all the documents I would need, and I thought I was ready to do this. I really wanted to start the process before leaving for the States on Thursday as it can take up to one month to process the spousal visa, and I don't want to be late like I was last time.
My friend advised that I arrive at the immigration office just before closing to ensure the shortest wait time. Makes sense to me. I clocked in about 10 minutes before the "take a number" machine was turned off. Then, I dutifully went downstairs to the post office and bought the stamps. I thought this would save me some time later.
I waited about 45 minutes and finally my number was called. Immediately, the lady told me that this was the wrong line for spousal visas. She only handles re-entry permits, and I should have taken a separate number for each line. I guess I would have known that if I had more carefully read the signs which clearly explain this fact just above the "take a number" machine!!! (Just because I can read doesn't mean my Mommy brain can process the information!) However, since it was the end of the day, she agreed to look at my papers and process both documents for me.
Turns out that I didn't have any of the correct documents and evidential information to show that my Japanese spouse does indeed exist. I needed to show a copy of his "resident card" and his "proof of income". The proof of income is to show that he can actually support me. Okay, so here's me and my mommy brain with it's screwy logic.
(Roughly translated into English)
"But, you see, my husband is a Japanese citizen. He doesn't have a resident card. The English explanation from the internet says nothing about bringing in a juminhyo."
"Well, a Juminhyo IS a resident card."
"Oh really? Because the phrase 'resident card' is not a good translation for juminhyo. I really didn't know that I needed his juminhyo."
(Um first of all, the juminhyo is NOT a card. It is a piece of paper which states the person's address. Basically, it is a proof of residence, and not what we would think of as a resident's card, which might be something that a foreigner keeps with him/her to prove that he has the right to reside in such and such country. In the USA, we do not have juminhyo. If we need to prove our residence, we show them a recent electric bill or something like that. Of course, I know what a juminhyo is, but I have never translated it in my head to resident's card, but I guess I will from now on!)
Then,
"You also need to show proof of his income. It says so right here."
"Why should I have to show proof of his income. I checked the box for "supporting self" and I brought in proof of my income."
"We don't care about your income. We only care about your spouse's income because you are living here on a SPOUSE visa."
"Yes, but I checked the box for SELF. And, I know my income has been low this year, but that's because I am on childcare leave, and actually, I am going back to work at the same place in February. I brought proof of my contract with my school, and it states my salary right here."
"Okay, it's very nice that you have a job, and that you are going back to work soon. That nice, really. But, frankly, we don't care about your income. We just want to know what your husband does. If he was here with you, he would be able to vouch for himself, but he's not, so we need evidence."
"Fine, I understand. I wanted to bring evidence of his income, but they don't release the paperwork until the very end of the year. And, you know this deadline for my visa is really bad timing, especially if I am supposed to start the process one month ahead of time."
"Well, you didn't have to start this early. You could have waited until after the new year."
(Get the picture? I could go on and on with this one. I am not sure why I was being difficult. I just felt so ... fuzzy.)
Another document I needed was a "Letter of Guarantee" that would be filled out by my spouse. I hadn't seen this on the internet, so I just ignored it when I saw it on the list of necessary documents. I mean, I figured it must not apply to me or something. I guess it did because the immigration officer was like,
"You are missing so many documents. Why didn't you come prepared? I am not sure why you would not have brought the letter of guarantee with you, or least your husband. I mean, if you can't read the Japanese explanations, you could have shown it to your husband, right?"
"Yes, but the explanations were also in English, and I thought I understood everything."
I must say though...she showed me the Japanese explanations of necessary documents, and it is one full page in very very small print. The English version is about 6 lines long, in very large print. TYPICAL!!! For those of you who live in Japan, you will understand exactly what I mean by that.
So, after I left, I kind of realized just how stupid I was. I had absolutely no proof that A. Suk actually exists and B. that Suk wants me to have a spouse visa. I do get it now.
Luckily for me though, I do not have to go back. She marked my applications as pending, and I just have to send in the rest of the documents. She even gave me an envelope to send them in. I'll just go back to pick up my visa and re-entry permit when they are ready in January.
I used to think not. In fact, up until a week ago, I would never have even uttered the two words "mommy" and "brain" in the same sentence. Up until a week ago, I could pretty much stay on track with everything, including conversations, my things, my baby's things, and whatever else I was supposed to be in charge of.
In fact, I was better than fine. I was and still am scrapbooking a few times a week and keeping on top of Ailin's book, and I even started a new album about my hometown. I was emailing people on a semi-regular basis, and I was even keeping up to date with family news, gossip and some Hollywood gossip. (Okay, so what if I never really had much interest in real news...thank god though because I doubt I could keep up.)
Then, the continued lack of sleep over time has somehow caught up with my brain, and I am now slowing down. Fuzziness has taken over as I rack my brain trying to remember the last sentence I said just 5 seconds ago. Or when I set something down and can't remember what it was or where I put it, and then I suddenly don't remember what I am looking for.
And, this might explain my problem with the lost keys. (Although Red Ferrari Lady is partly to blame for their continued loss...) Or the stupid pot being stuck in the pan. Did I forget that both were very hot? Then, just yesterday, Suk reminded my 5 times to give him Ailin's insurance card, and when he reminded me again this morning, and I had no idea where it was and I started to panic. 'It's gone. I don't know where it is. What! It should be right here, but it's not! Oh my god!!!" Suk opened the diaper bag and found it right away, amongst our bank account books.
This afternoon, as I waited for Ailin to settle down into a nap so I could get ready for the day. (Yes, I admit it, I was still not ready to go out and it was 2pm by then.) Of course, she refused to nap and just wanted to play. Oh, if Suk had been here, she'd be napping already!!!! Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and do the next best thing. I got ready quickly, rushed her out to the car and strapped her in seat. She fell asleep just after we began driving, and she stayed asleep for a good hour.
I, on the other hand, was also very sleepy, and I found myself nodding off at intersections while waiting for the light to turn green. I stopped at a gas station convenience store to buy coffee, coke and chocolate. When I opened my wallet to pay, there was NO money inside! I explained that I had money in the car and would be right back to pay. (I could only pray and hope that I actually did have money in the car.) After a bit of searching, I found a 10,000 yen bill, and I used that to pay. This 10,000 yen bill was meant for the revenue stamps for my renewal of spousal visa and re-entry permit, which brings me to my reason for bringing up this topic today.
Our reason for going outside today was so I could go to the immigration office and renew these two important documents. Without the spousal visa, which expires every three years, I cannot live in Japan. Without the re-entry permit, which also expires every three years, I cannot return to Japan to live should I leave for a vacation or something.
So, last week, I spent a couple evenings preparing all the documents I would need for these two procedures. I even downloaded the forms on-line and filled them out. I went around collecting all the documents I would need, and I thought I was ready to do this. I really wanted to start the process before leaving for the States on Thursday as it can take up to one month to process the spousal visa, and I don't want to be late like I was last time.
My friend advised that I arrive at the immigration office just before closing to ensure the shortest wait time. Makes sense to me. I clocked in about 10 minutes before the "take a number" machine was turned off. Then, I dutifully went downstairs to the post office and bought the stamps. I thought this would save me some time later.
I waited about 45 minutes and finally my number was called. Immediately, the lady told me that this was the wrong line for spousal visas. She only handles re-entry permits, and I should have taken a separate number for each line. I guess I would have known that if I had more carefully read the signs which clearly explain this fact just above the "take a number" machine!!! (Just because I can read doesn't mean my Mommy brain can process the information!) However, since it was the end of the day, she agreed to look at my papers and process both documents for me.
Turns out that I didn't have any of the correct documents and evidential information to show that my Japanese spouse does indeed exist. I needed to show a copy of his "resident card" and his "proof of income". The proof of income is to show that he can actually support me. Okay, so here's me and my mommy brain with it's screwy logic.
(Roughly translated into English)
"But, you see, my husband is a Japanese citizen. He doesn't have a resident card. The English explanation from the internet says nothing about bringing in a juminhyo."
"Well, a Juminhyo IS a resident card."
"Oh really? Because the phrase 'resident card' is not a good translation for juminhyo. I really didn't know that I needed his juminhyo."
(Um first of all, the juminhyo is NOT a card. It is a piece of paper which states the person's address. Basically, it is a proof of residence, and not what we would think of as a resident's card, which might be something that a foreigner keeps with him/her to prove that he has the right to reside in such and such country. In the USA, we do not have juminhyo. If we need to prove our residence, we show them a recent electric bill or something like that. Of course, I know what a juminhyo is, but I have never translated it in my head to resident's card, but I guess I will from now on!)
Then,
"You also need to show proof of his income. It says so right here."
"Why should I have to show proof of his income. I checked the box for "supporting self" and I brought in proof of my income."
"We don't care about your income. We only care about your spouse's income because you are living here on a SPOUSE visa."
"Yes, but I checked the box for SELF. And, I know my income has been low this year, but that's because I am on childcare leave, and actually, I am going back to work at the same place in February. I brought proof of my contract with my school, and it states my salary right here."
"Okay, it's very nice that you have a job, and that you are going back to work soon. That nice, really. But, frankly, we don't care about your income. We just want to know what your husband does. If he was here with you, he would be able to vouch for himself, but he's not, so we need evidence."
"Fine, I understand. I wanted to bring evidence of his income, but they don't release the paperwork until the very end of the year. And, you know this deadline for my visa is really bad timing, especially if I am supposed to start the process one month ahead of time."
"Well, you didn't have to start this early. You could have waited until after the new year."
(Get the picture? I could go on and on with this one. I am not sure why I was being difficult. I just felt so ... fuzzy.)
Another document I needed was a "Letter of Guarantee" that would be filled out by my spouse. I hadn't seen this on the internet, so I just ignored it when I saw it on the list of necessary documents. I mean, I figured it must not apply to me or something. I guess it did because the immigration officer was like,
"You are missing so many documents. Why didn't you come prepared? I am not sure why you would not have brought the letter of guarantee with you, or least your husband. I mean, if you can't read the Japanese explanations, you could have shown it to your husband, right?"
"Yes, but the explanations were also in English, and I thought I understood everything."
I must say though...she showed me the Japanese explanations of necessary documents, and it is one full page in very very small print. The English version is about 6 lines long, in very large print. TYPICAL!!! For those of you who live in Japan, you will understand exactly what I mean by that.
So, after I left, I kind of realized just how stupid I was. I had absolutely no proof that A. Suk actually exists and B. that Suk wants me to have a spouse visa. I do get it now.
Luckily for me though, I do not have to go back. She marked my applications as pending, and I just have to send in the rest of the documents. She even gave me an envelope to send them in. I'll just go back to pick up my visa and re-entry permit when they are ready in January.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
More Broken Things
I may have written about all the broken weird things in my life over the summer, and I really thought it was all over with. I was starting to think my home's feng shui was really bad, so I borrowed a book from someone to learn more about the topic. I still haven't found the time to work with the book, and needless to say, my feng is not getting any better!!!!
In the last two weeks alone, three weird things happened.
The Case of the Missing Keys
Two weeks ago, Max and I were out walking in a field and for once in my life, I decided to play fetch with him. At the end of our walk, we began making our way back to the apartment building and I automatically checked my pockets for my keys. Gone!!!! I panicked slightly, but we turned around and started looking for them. Of course, we couldn't find them...I mean, I couldn't find them - Max was busying himself with his usual sniffing and leash-pulling. I knew Suk was waiting for me to get back so he could go to work, so after about 30 minutes, we made our way back to home.
Luckily for us, Suk was still at home so we could get into the house. Later that day, I went to the police station (that little field is between our apartment building and the police station, lucky for us.) and reported my keys missing. I hoped some other dog walker would find them and turn them in.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk offered to go out to the field with me and help look for the keys. Thank god he did because it took him about 30 seconds to spot them in the clover! Okay, I promised myself that I would not play fetch again with Max.
The Case of the Missing Keys Part 2
Last week, Ailin and I were going somewhere by car, and I was in a hurry. In the parking lot of our building, I stuck my keys in the keyhole of the code box to open the gate and then proceeded to drive off without taking my keys with me. This happens to people a lot, and usually the keys are either put on top of the box or are turned into the condo caretaker.
To make a long story short, when I came back hours later, the condo caretaker did not have my keys and neither did the box! I had to drive over to MIL's house and borrow her spare key, and then the caretaker lent me a key for the parking gate. He assured the keys would be turned in with a day or two.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk went down and asked him what could be done about the missing keys. After a few days, the caretaker offered to watch the security camera footage and see if he could solve the mystery. Somehow, and I am not sure how this happened, but Suk ended up viewing the footage with him and they thought they had caught the "thief" red-handed.
Speaking of red-handed, the "key thief" is someone who owns a red ferrari. The red ferrari-driving lady has two cars in her possession and was seen parking her red ferrari just after I left, and then leaving a a couple hours later in her other car. When she went to take her less-ritzy car out of the parking gate, her co-hort (could be a relative or friend) walked over and apparently grabbed my keys and they drove off with them.
It is complicated, I know. If it was just the butler in the dining room with the candlestick, life would be so much simpler. But it wasn't, and now the caretaker hung up some signs indicating that he is searching for the keys and if anyone has any information regarding their whereabouts, to please contact him.
Needless to say, I could understand if Red Ferrari Lady wants an extra parking gate key, but could she just give me back my house key? I don't feel so comfortable about another resident holding on to my house key!!!!!
Will keep you posted about my key mystery.
The Case of the 2 Pans
This could also be called "The Case of the Clumsy Science Flunky".
You know how when something that gets hot also expands a little bit? Then when it cools down, it contracts a little bit? Well, you may have forgotten this, but you learned about it in 8th grade science class.
The other night, I was in a rush to cook dinner, and I was using two pans of a approximately the same circumference. One was a big pot for cooking pasta in. The other was just a fry pan. After using the big pot, I had no where to set it as it was too hot to set directly on the counter top. So, I set it in the frying pan, which incidently, was also very hot as I had just finished using it.
Well, lo and behold, when I went back to do the dishes a few hours later, I found that these two pots were stuck together. I tried and tried to get them apart, but nothing doing.
The next day, I asked Suk to hold one while I hold the other and pull with our mights, but that didn't help either. Then he had this bright idea (did I ever mention how unbelievably handy Suk is?) to take a hammer and try to pound them and pry them apart. This only caused tiny jagged pieces of teflon and metal to fly about, and I could see the frying pan was slowing becoming a piece of shit...excuse my language.
(Incidentally, I just bought this teflon frying pan to replace the one that Suk scratched the coating off of when he "washed" it with a metal sponge. I guess he thought the teflon needed to scraped off as well as the food particles.)
So, anyway, not that we have any money right now, but we need to buy ourselves a new spaghetti pot and a new fry pan for Christmas.
In the last two weeks alone, three weird things happened.
The Case of the Missing Keys
Two weeks ago, Max and I were out walking in a field and for once in my life, I decided to play fetch with him. At the end of our walk, we began making our way back to the apartment building and I automatically checked my pockets for my keys. Gone!!!! I panicked slightly, but we turned around and started looking for them. Of course, we couldn't find them...I mean, I couldn't find them - Max was busying himself with his usual sniffing and leash-pulling. I knew Suk was waiting for me to get back so he could go to work, so after about 30 minutes, we made our way back to home.
Luckily for us, Suk was still at home so we could get into the house. Later that day, I went to the police station (that little field is between our apartment building and the police station, lucky for us.) and reported my keys missing. I hoped some other dog walker would find them and turn them in.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk offered to go out to the field with me and help look for the keys. Thank god he did because it took him about 30 seconds to spot them in the clover! Okay, I promised myself that I would not play fetch again with Max.
The Case of the Missing Keys Part 2
Last week, Ailin and I were going somewhere by car, and I was in a hurry. In the parking lot of our building, I stuck my keys in the keyhole of the code box to open the gate and then proceeded to drive off without taking my keys with me. This happens to people a lot, and usually the keys are either put on top of the box or are turned into the condo caretaker.
To make a long story short, when I came back hours later, the condo caretaker did not have my keys and neither did the box! I had to drive over to MIL's house and borrow her spare key, and then the caretaker lent me a key for the parking gate. He assured the keys would be turned in with a day or two.
Nothing doing, so the next morning, Suk went down and asked him what could be done about the missing keys. After a few days, the caretaker offered to watch the security camera footage and see if he could solve the mystery. Somehow, and I am not sure how this happened, but Suk ended up viewing the footage with him and they thought they had caught the "thief" red-handed.
Speaking of red-handed, the "key thief" is someone who owns a red ferrari. The red ferrari-driving lady has two cars in her possession and was seen parking her red ferrari just after I left, and then leaving a a couple hours later in her other car. When she went to take her less-ritzy car out of the parking gate, her co-hort (could be a relative or friend) walked over and apparently grabbed my keys and they drove off with them.
It is complicated, I know. If it was just the butler in the dining room with the candlestick, life would be so much simpler. But it wasn't, and now the caretaker hung up some signs indicating that he is searching for the keys and if anyone has any information regarding their whereabouts, to please contact him.
Needless to say, I could understand if Red Ferrari Lady wants an extra parking gate key, but could she just give me back my house key? I don't feel so comfortable about another resident holding on to my house key!!!!!
Will keep you posted about my key mystery.
The Case of the 2 Pans
This could also be called "The Case of the Clumsy Science Flunky".
You know how when something that gets hot also expands a little bit? Then when it cools down, it contracts a little bit? Well, you may have forgotten this, but you learned about it in 8th grade science class.
The other night, I was in a rush to cook dinner, and I was using two pans of a approximately the same circumference. One was a big pot for cooking pasta in. The other was just a fry pan. After using the big pot, I had no where to set it as it was too hot to set directly on the counter top. So, I set it in the frying pan, which incidently, was also very hot as I had just finished using it.
Well, lo and behold, when I went back to do the dishes a few hours later, I found that these two pots were stuck together. I tried and tried to get them apart, but nothing doing.
The next day, I asked Suk to hold one while I hold the other and pull with our mights, but that didn't help either. Then he had this bright idea (did I ever mention how unbelievably handy Suk is?) to take a hammer and try to pound them and pry them apart. This only caused tiny jagged pieces of teflon and metal to fly about, and I could see the frying pan was slowing becoming a piece of shit...excuse my language.
(Incidentally, I just bought this teflon frying pan to replace the one that Suk scratched the coating off of when he "washed" it with a metal sponge. I guess he thought the teflon needed to scraped off as well as the food particles.)
So, anyway, not that we have any money right now, but we need to buy ourselves a new spaghetti pot and a new fry pan for Christmas.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Flickr Update
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandejlife/
I decided to update my flickr for the first time in 18 months. I just put my pages from Ailin's scrapbook on there. Rather than lug that heavy thing over to the States this Christmas, I thought I had better just take photos of the pages. Not as good as the real thing but you'll get the idea.
If you cannot access this and you want to, please let me know and I will send an invitation to you.
I decided to update my flickr for the first time in 18 months. I just put my pages from Ailin's scrapbook on there. Rather than lug that heavy thing over to the States this Christmas, I thought I had better just take photos of the pages. Not as good as the real thing but you'll get the idea.
If you cannot access this and you want to, please let me know and I will send an invitation to you.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Thank you all for your kind comments. At least one of the photos stands out more than the others. It is certainly not the family photo, but that's okay. I will get over it. (By the way, my mom reads this blog and she commented that we all look quite stiff in the photos. I guess that is a no go for her birthday present. Oh well...)
I had to scan these JC Penneys photos anyway, so I thought I would put them up here to compare. They were taken during our trip to Wisconsin last summer. Ailin was 5 months old. There are a few more poses, but these are the ones I have on hand. Can you see the difference?
I had to scan these JC Penneys photos anyway, so I thought I would put them up here to compare. They were taken during our trip to Wisconsin last summer. Ailin was 5 months old. There are a few more poses, but these are the ones I have on hand. Can you see the difference?
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Stupido Arisu Part 2
I am sorry to have inadvertantly deceived anyone regarding half price coupons at Studio Alice. I checked further into it and it turns out that the half price coupons they hand out pertain to the sitting fee only. The sitting fee is 3000 yen at full price, but I heard that on weekly days, the price is reduced or free anyway. I did also hear that some photo studios have you pay a certain price PER POSE, so if you want your family or kids to try out 5 different poses, you will have to pay the price. I have to say that is a big rip off.
I decided to post my heinous Alice photos up here. One reason is because this story is kind of funny. I was really going for the natural look, and I wanted a close, affectionate familial pose. Imagine one where Suk and I hug Ailin close between us, and only our upper torsos and heads appear in the photo.
The other reason is I am so NOT putting any of these photos in our Christmas letter, so I might as well put them somewhere. They are barely passing inspection for wasting a page in her scrapbook album. Actually, one copy is supposed to be for MIL. And we got an 8x10 for my mom. I guess she will have to suffer looking that for a whole year or until we get another one made.
I have to say, in defense of Ailin, that she is so much cuter in real life. Without sounding like a stage mother or anything of the sort, she is the type of kid who always smiles these big wide, toothy grins. At Studio Alice, she did not crack one smile which was very out of character for her. Even that idiotic Disneyland- type photographer could not get her to smile with all her little "tricks and toys." I certainly don't want my Christmas card recipients to think that Ailin always looks this confused.
I decided to post my heinous Alice photos up here. One reason is because this story is kind of funny. I was really going for the natural look, and I wanted a close, affectionate familial pose. Imagine one where Suk and I hug Ailin close between us, and only our upper torsos and heads appear in the photo.
The other reason is I am so NOT putting any of these photos in our Christmas letter, so I might as well put them somewhere. They are barely passing inspection for wasting a page in her scrapbook album. Actually, one copy is supposed to be for MIL. And we got an 8x10 for my mom. I guess she will have to suffer looking that for a whole year or until we get another one made.
I have to say, in defense of Ailin, that she is so much cuter in real life. Without sounding like a stage mother or anything of the sort, she is the type of kid who always smiles these big wide, toothy grins. At Studio Alice, she did not crack one smile which was very out of character for her. Even that idiotic Disneyland- type photographer could not get her to smile with all her little "tricks and toys." I certainly don't want my Christmas card recipients to think that Ailin always looks this confused.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Kuso Arisu - Out of the Loop
Today, we went to have professional photos taken at a local studio called Studio Alice. Now, I call it Stupido Alice. It took Suk about a week to catch on to that subtle joke.
Anyway, I was planning to scan a family photo for our Christmas letter, but I also wanted to frame a nice family photo for my mom. Anyway, I found out why it is WAY WAY better to just have photos taken at JCPenneys or Target. You'll save yourself a lot of hassle and money.
Last summer, on a whim, we got Ailin's photo taken at JCPenneys and they turned out really nice. I paid about $60 bucks for several copies in a variety of sizes and poses. Included in that price was a cool collage one that they put together using 5 different poses. Oh my - I did not realize the deal we were getting at that price.
For Christmas, I insisted that we go to Studio Alice, and I made the appointment. Suk seemed like he didn't care either way, but was willing to go along with it for my sake. I had never been to Studio Alice before, but 3 different Japanese friends recommended this particular store because the "photographer" was so good! I had seen their photos, and although they were nice, I noted that they were the "typical" pro photos often taken here in Japan.
Here is a sampling of "typical":
A photo taken when your baby is 100 days old
A photo taken when your child hits 3, 5 or 7 years old - usually in a kimono, but some kids choose to wear a prom dress or wedding dress instead
A birthday photo
Now, mind you, these studios have lots of dresses on the racks for kids to choose from - everything from kimono to bright yellow fluffy prom dresses to bee costumes. You name it, they've got it. And, in the dressing room, a woman fixes the little girls' hair in a fancy updo with bows and flowers - almost every girl's dream!
We showed up in very simple ivory shirts (uniqlo!) and jeans. Ailin was wearing a red dress with an ivory turtleneck underneath. I specifically chose this dress because it is kind of Christmasy. They offered that we look at the costumes anyway to see if there might be something we like better. Um...no, but thanks.
(Oh, and did I mention that we lost her brush, so her hair was a disaster and there was nothing much we could do. Then, I forgot her barrette int he car, and my husband was out getting it when they called us into the studio to start her photos.)
Did the photographer ask us what type of poses or style we were going for? No. Did she ask if we preferred a certain background to another? No. Did she talk to us at all? No.
As luck would have it, Ailin had had a bad night - up wanting to crawl around at 3am - then she and I slept in until 9, so by the time we got to the photo studio, she was ready for her morning nap. How could I have predicted that when I made the appointment weeks ago?
So, in essence, we got to choose from a million photos and our child was not smiling in even one of them. She just looked kind of like, "where am I? Who are these people? Why are they talking to me? Why am I sitting in this fancy victorian chair. Ooh, christmas tree. Can I eat it?"
One 8x10 costs about $70. One wallet is $11. Um, okay. Was I obligated to buy something just so as not to waste this lady's time? Yes, I felt the need to for god knows why. Not only did I buy one, but I bought about 5 photos that I didn't want just because I thought that's what people do.
And, at the end, she asked if we had the HALF PRICE coupon. Those exist? Well, no, but I found out from one of my "friends" that she had a few coupons and would have given one to us had we told her about our appointment. She claimed that "everyone knows about them, no one actually pays full price for those things!!!"
Why is it that Suk and I are always out of the loop?
Anyway, I was planning to scan a family photo for our Christmas letter, but I also wanted to frame a nice family photo for my mom. Anyway, I found out why it is WAY WAY better to just have photos taken at JCPenneys or Target. You'll save yourself a lot of hassle and money.
Last summer, on a whim, we got Ailin's photo taken at JCPenneys and they turned out really nice. I paid about $60 bucks for several copies in a variety of sizes and poses. Included in that price was a cool collage one that they put together using 5 different poses. Oh my - I did not realize the deal we were getting at that price.
For Christmas, I insisted that we go to Studio Alice, and I made the appointment. Suk seemed like he didn't care either way, but was willing to go along with it for my sake. I had never been to Studio Alice before, but 3 different Japanese friends recommended this particular store because the "photographer" was so good! I had seen their photos, and although they were nice, I noted that they were the "typical" pro photos often taken here in Japan.
Here is a sampling of "typical":
A photo taken when your baby is 100 days old
A photo taken when your child hits 3, 5 or 7 years old - usually in a kimono, but some kids choose to wear a prom dress or wedding dress instead
A birthday photo
Now, mind you, these studios have lots of dresses on the racks for kids to choose from - everything from kimono to bright yellow fluffy prom dresses to bee costumes. You name it, they've got it. And, in the dressing room, a woman fixes the little girls' hair in a fancy updo with bows and flowers - almost every girl's dream!
We showed up in very simple ivory shirts (uniqlo!) and jeans. Ailin was wearing a red dress with an ivory turtleneck underneath. I specifically chose this dress because it is kind of Christmasy. They offered that we look at the costumes anyway to see if there might be something we like better. Um...no, but thanks.
(Oh, and did I mention that we lost her brush, so her hair was a disaster and there was nothing much we could do. Then, I forgot her barrette int he car, and my husband was out getting it when they called us into the studio to start her photos.)
Did the photographer ask us what type of poses or style we were going for? No. Did she ask if we preferred a certain background to another? No. Did she talk to us at all? No.
As luck would have it, Ailin had had a bad night - up wanting to crawl around at 3am - then she and I slept in until 9, so by the time we got to the photo studio, she was ready for her morning nap. How could I have predicted that when I made the appointment weeks ago?
So, in essence, we got to choose from a million photos and our child was not smiling in even one of them. She just looked kind of like, "where am I? Who are these people? Why are they talking to me? Why am I sitting in this fancy victorian chair. Ooh, christmas tree. Can I eat it?"
One 8x10 costs about $70. One wallet is $11. Um, okay. Was I obligated to buy something just so as not to waste this lady's time? Yes, I felt the need to for god knows why. Not only did I buy one, but I bought about 5 photos that I didn't want just because I thought that's what people do.
And, at the end, she asked if we had the HALF PRICE coupon. Those exist? Well, no, but I found out from one of my "friends" that she had a few coupons and would have given one to us had we told her about our appointment. She claimed that "everyone knows about them, no one actually pays full price for those things!!!"
Why is it that Suk and I are always out of the loop?
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Updates
I know I always do this, and it is so lame. Kuri has been keeping up her blog about all her adventures with little Nao. Meanwhile, I have a hard time writing because I want to keep it positive, yet honest. Things are going well right now, so I guess it as good a time as any to write.
Suk and Me
Suk and I came close to throwing in the towel, but decided to try therapy instead. I wish I could say it was massage therapy or something to that effect, but it is your run-of-the-mill marriage counseling type of therapy. He was really reluctant to go because he had this image of some dull politician-type Japanese guy choosing sides and telling the other one to fuck off. We chose the therapist together through the list provided by Tokyo Mental Health Professionals, an organization which refers bilingual and English-speaking therapists from various backgrounds.
It turns out she is a life-saver, extremely intelligent and fairly neutral. And, though I wouldn't say she can take full credit for miracles happening, Suk and I are in a much different place then we were 2 months ago. He has been making some major changes, and I guess I have to (but I always felt like I was making all the changes before), so this makes a big difference.
I really don't want to get into details about such a private issue, but I will say that it has been worth the money in our case. We have to trek all the way to Omotesando in Tokyo (about 1 hour and 15 minutes by train) on Saturdays, leaving Ailin with her Grandma for the afternoon. These afternoons in Omotesando, although they consist of a 15-minute stop off at Starbucks, a one-hour therapy session, and 2 1/2 hours on public transportation, do kind of seem like a date.
Now, we have been prescribed to twice monthly therapy sessions, and gradually, we'll taper down to once a month, and then just once in a while - like when there is a big change in our lives.
Family Activities
For us, I consider it a family activity when the dog is included in our outings. Thus, Suk and I have to find places which accommodate doggies. We have not been too successful on this front because of Suk's level of conservativeness. For example, when we take Max to a park, we cannot let him loose like every other dog owner does. This is partly due to Max's overzealousness. He simply loves people and other dogs and he wants so desperately to make new friends. This is also due to the fact that he seems to be attracted to small children who happen to be playing with bouncy, round objects, like balls.
So far, we have taken Max and Ailin to Mother Farm in Chiba, Inage Seaside Park in our town, the Flower Museum restaurant, Starbucks and other smaller parks in our neighborhood. My goal is to stay at a resort hotel which allows dogs. That is a pretty big goal, actually.
Outings without Max have consisted of Ario shopping mall in Soga, Narita Temple, Roppongi, & Azabujuban. My goal there is to go on more drives to see other parts of Chiba prefecture and perhaps even venture outside of Chiba with the car. I have done this on my own (with Ailin and while I was still pregnant, but shhhh....that's a secret). The goal is to have Suk do the driving.
Ailin's Development
She is 8 1/2 months now. We just celebrated Halloween where I dressed her as an angel. I must have a very high opinion of her.
She enjoys looking at books, playing with her blocks, knocking down any towers that I build, eating anything she picks up like tissues and papers, petting and watching Max, going for walks with Max every day, and attempting to crawl.
Her crawl is more of a sliding backwards type movement. She slides backwards until she gets her feet stuck under the couch or other piece of furniture and then she cries to be rescued.
She eats like a little piggy, loving just about anything I give her. Last week, I went to a seminar to learn how to make baby food, the Japanese way. That was informative, and since then, I have tried several of the recipes - basically things like carrot/spinach/fish mixture, carrot/spinach/chicken mixture, mashed potatoes, etc. All very interesting, but I do often cheat and feed her jarred baby food anyway. She seems to like pretty much anything.
Mama's Free Time
Now that I have chosen her day care for next year, and just have to apply within their application period in December, I am a bit more relaxed, relatively speaking.
From 6:30 am to 8:00 pm, my minutes revolve around entertaining Ailin, watching Ailin, feeding Ailin, preparing Ailin's diaper bag, cleaning up after Ailin, playing with Ailin, preparing Ailin's and my meals, taking dangerous things away from Ailin, dressing Ailin, going out with Ailin, bathing Ailin, etc. You get the picture, anyway. I really marvel at mothers who have more than one child.
During nap times or when she is (thankfully) playing contentedly by herself, I steal a few minutes to do email, search the internet for something, clean up something, use the toilet, put on make up, etc. Granted, this never lasts very long. (Luckily, she really enjoys playing with my make up bottles, so that is a safe thing to do in her presence.)
After Ailin goes to bed, I have to make dinner, eat it, clean up the kitchen, tidy the apartment up, do laundry and then collapse on the couch. Lately, because Suk is making special efforts to come home early and spend time with me, he usually arrives home right about the time I collapse on the couch, so needless to say, I must "cheerily" warm up his dinner, keep him company while he eats, then clean it up. Oh my god...I am just so tired these days.
But, once or twice a week, I make a special effort to do something for myself. For one thing, MIL is more willing to babysit now that Ailin is older, eats baby food and doesn't cry the entire time I am away. So, for a few hours a week, she usually babysits while I sneak out to meet a friend for coffee, get my hair done or just do some errands that take half the amount of time without you-know-who around. My next major goal is to get someone to babysit her so that I can thoroughly mop the floors in our apartment, but I don't want to waste my precious alone time. This is what hired help is for, if only I could afford it.
Also, once or twice a week, I make a very simple dinner for myelf, and I reserve the right to do scrapbooking rather than all the other chores that await me. Right now, I am working on a couple of projects and would like to get a couple more started, so I need some time to concentrate.
That's it for now!
Suk and Me
Suk and I came close to throwing in the towel, but decided to try therapy instead. I wish I could say it was massage therapy or something to that effect, but it is your run-of-the-mill marriage counseling type of therapy. He was really reluctant to go because he had this image of some dull politician-type Japanese guy choosing sides and telling the other one to fuck off. We chose the therapist together through the list provided by Tokyo Mental Health Professionals, an organization which refers bilingual and English-speaking therapists from various backgrounds.
It turns out she is a life-saver, extremely intelligent and fairly neutral. And, though I wouldn't say she can take full credit for miracles happening, Suk and I are in a much different place then we were 2 months ago. He has been making some major changes, and I guess I have to (but I always felt like I was making all the changes before), so this makes a big difference.
I really don't want to get into details about such a private issue, but I will say that it has been worth the money in our case. We have to trek all the way to Omotesando in Tokyo (about 1 hour and 15 minutes by train) on Saturdays, leaving Ailin with her Grandma for the afternoon. These afternoons in Omotesando, although they consist of a 15-minute stop off at Starbucks, a one-hour therapy session, and 2 1/2 hours on public transportation, do kind of seem like a date.
Now, we have been prescribed to twice monthly therapy sessions, and gradually, we'll taper down to once a month, and then just once in a while - like when there is a big change in our lives.
Family Activities
For us, I consider it a family activity when the dog is included in our outings. Thus, Suk and I have to find places which accommodate doggies. We have not been too successful on this front because of Suk's level of conservativeness. For example, when we take Max to a park, we cannot let him loose like every other dog owner does. This is partly due to Max's overzealousness. He simply loves people and other dogs and he wants so desperately to make new friends. This is also due to the fact that he seems to be attracted to small children who happen to be playing with bouncy, round objects, like balls.
So far, we have taken Max and Ailin to Mother Farm in Chiba, Inage Seaside Park in our town, the Flower Museum restaurant, Starbucks and other smaller parks in our neighborhood. My goal is to stay at a resort hotel which allows dogs. That is a pretty big goal, actually.
Outings without Max have consisted of Ario shopping mall in Soga, Narita Temple, Roppongi, & Azabujuban. My goal there is to go on more drives to see other parts of Chiba prefecture and perhaps even venture outside of Chiba with the car. I have done this on my own (with Ailin and while I was still pregnant, but shhhh....that's a secret). The goal is to have Suk do the driving.
Ailin's Development
She is 8 1/2 months now. We just celebrated Halloween where I dressed her as an angel. I must have a very high opinion of her.
She enjoys looking at books, playing with her blocks, knocking down any towers that I build, eating anything she picks up like tissues and papers, petting and watching Max, going for walks with Max every day, and attempting to crawl.
Her crawl is more of a sliding backwards type movement. She slides backwards until she gets her feet stuck under the couch or other piece of furniture and then she cries to be rescued.
She eats like a little piggy, loving just about anything I give her. Last week, I went to a seminar to learn how to make baby food, the Japanese way. That was informative, and since then, I have tried several of the recipes - basically things like carrot/spinach/fish mixture, carrot/spinach/chicken mixture, mashed potatoes, etc. All very interesting, but I do often cheat and feed her jarred baby food anyway. She seems to like pretty much anything.
Mama's Free Time
Now that I have chosen her day care for next year, and just have to apply within their application period in December, I am a bit more relaxed, relatively speaking.
From 6:30 am to 8:00 pm, my minutes revolve around entertaining Ailin, watching Ailin, feeding Ailin, preparing Ailin's diaper bag, cleaning up after Ailin, playing with Ailin, preparing Ailin's and my meals, taking dangerous things away from Ailin, dressing Ailin, going out with Ailin, bathing Ailin, etc. You get the picture, anyway. I really marvel at mothers who have more than one child.
During nap times or when she is (thankfully) playing contentedly by herself, I steal a few minutes to do email, search the internet for something, clean up something, use the toilet, put on make up, etc. Granted, this never lasts very long. (Luckily, she really enjoys playing with my make up bottles, so that is a safe thing to do in her presence.)
After Ailin goes to bed, I have to make dinner, eat it, clean up the kitchen, tidy the apartment up, do laundry and then collapse on the couch. Lately, because Suk is making special efforts to come home early and spend time with me, he usually arrives home right about the time I collapse on the couch, so needless to say, I must "cheerily" warm up his dinner, keep him company while he eats, then clean it up. Oh my god...I am just so tired these days.
But, once or twice a week, I make a special effort to do something for myself. For one thing, MIL is more willing to babysit now that Ailin is older, eats baby food and doesn't cry the entire time I am away. So, for a few hours a week, she usually babysits while I sneak out to meet a friend for coffee, get my hair done or just do some errands that take half the amount of time without you-know-who around. My next major goal is to get someone to babysit her so that I can thoroughly mop the floors in our apartment, but I don't want to waste my precious alone time. This is what hired help is for, if only I could afford it.
Also, once or twice a week, I make a very simple dinner for myelf, and I reserve the right to do scrapbooking rather than all the other chores that await me. Right now, I am working on a couple of projects and would like to get a couple more started, so I need some time to concentrate.
That's it for now!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Neglecting my Blog for Better Things (like Fish and Facebook)
Okay, I admit it. I have been neglecting my blog for FACEBOOK, which is a totally addictive interactive way to communicate with your friends without actually meeting them face to face, because let's face it, that takes way too much energy for the modern person. (How many times can YOU use the face in a sentence?)
Face Face Face Face. I am loving that word, especially when said with a faux french accent - fa-chay, my darling, fa-chay.
Now, I am going to write about something real.
I am getting busier now that Ailin is more mobile and talkative. I am also getting my mind set on going back to work in 5 months, so I am searching a decent day-care center for her. Luckily, in Japan, there are so many to choose from just in our immediate surroundings that the main problem is discerning the slight differences between each one. It keeps me busy, anyhow. I also need to figure out how I am going to make this kid bilingual while working a full time job. It certainly won't happen by dumping her off at day care every day.
Now, I am also working on expanding my reportraire of recipes. I am, in fact, a Martha Stewart addict, but I prefer low-carb cooking, so I usually use a cook book written just for this purpose. Last week, I decided to challenge myself and make fish every day. I bought 5 different types of fish, chose 5 different recipes...and by Friday, I was so sick of fish, I wanted to kill myself. I asked SUK to please, please, please treat me to a grilled-your-own-meat restaurant on Saturday night.
Anyway, here is a list of what I made, in case you ever get the inkling to cook some fish.
Poached salmon with ginger
Tuna with wasabi sauce
Cod with lemon mayo sauce
Louisiana grilled shrimp
Fish with creamy dill sauce
Sometimes, I buy fish but have no idea what kind it is. I choose it because of its color or texture. Most of the time, it really doesn't matter. What matters most is how the fish has been cut up by those fish-cutting people in the back of the store.
I don't think I will necessarily do a Meat Week any time soon, but fish will definitely not show up on the menu for a couple weeks. That is for sure.
Face Face Face Face. I am loving that word, especially when said with a faux french accent - fa-chay, my darling, fa-chay.
Now, I am going to write about something real.
I am getting busier now that Ailin is more mobile and talkative. I am also getting my mind set on going back to work in 5 months, so I am searching a decent day-care center for her. Luckily, in Japan, there are so many to choose from just in our immediate surroundings that the main problem is discerning the slight differences between each one. It keeps me busy, anyhow. I also need to figure out how I am going to make this kid bilingual while working a full time job. It certainly won't happen by dumping her off at day care every day.
Now, I am also working on expanding my reportraire of recipes. I am, in fact, a Martha Stewart addict, but I prefer low-carb cooking, so I usually use a cook book written just for this purpose. Last week, I decided to challenge myself and make fish every day. I bought 5 different types of fish, chose 5 different recipes...and by Friday, I was so sick of fish, I wanted to kill myself. I asked SUK to please, please, please treat me to a grilled-your-own-meat restaurant on Saturday night.
Anyway, here is a list of what I made, in case you ever get the inkling to cook some fish.
Poached salmon with ginger
Tuna with wasabi sauce
Cod with lemon mayo sauce
Louisiana grilled shrimp
Fish with creamy dill sauce
Sometimes, I buy fish but have no idea what kind it is. I choose it because of its color or texture. Most of the time, it really doesn't matter. What matters most is how the fish has been cut up by those fish-cutting people in the back of the store.
I don't think I will necessarily do a Meat Week any time soon, but fish will definitely not show up on the menu for a couple weeks. That is for sure.
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