A Sad Sad Story about Supermom and her Superkid

A sign has been made as part of the decorations. I used my new Cricut machine for the first time!


The table is set. The serving plates ready for their arrays of delicious baby-friendly finger foods that would have have been handmade by Mande, the Supermom.



The cake has been baked and frosted. All it needs is a little decoration.



Oh, but then something terrible happens. Supermom Amanda comes down with fever. She can no longer deny the sad fact...both Ailin and Supermom have bad, nasty colds with hacky coughing, sore throats, fevers, headaches...the list goes on. What to do?

Superdad to the rescue. He advises that the party should be cancelled or postponed.

Postponed? You mean, Supermom has to do this all over again? The cake? The decorations? The food? Impossible...

But, can we just fake it? I mean take some photos of Ailin with the cake, at least? At the very least?



The next morning. The party has been cancelled...decision about postponement to be announced at a later date. Right now, Supermom can't even think straight. (But she knows that if she were to attempt another party, all food and cake would come from Costco, and decorations would be miniscule.)

So, let's just set the table and pretend that a good time was had by all - minus the delicious finger foods which hadn't been made yet.




The sweetest cake in the world. Perhaps, Supermom thinks, this is a blessing in disguise. Japanese people would not really enjoy such a sugar rush.




Happy Birthday Dear Ailin...



Happy Birthday to me ... hee hee.




Oh, Supermom, you shouldn't have, really. You needn't have gone to all this trouble for li'l ol' me.




But, I do appreciate it and will cherish these photos always as the birthday party that never happened.

The End

Can I just say...

Can I just say that I am SO looking forward to going back to work next week?

Okay, I know this is hard for some people to believe, but I love my job. I was made to work there, and that job was made for me. So, to have been given the opportunity to work there and then to be able to take and entire year off to be with my baby, and then STILL HAVE THE SAME JOB when I go back - that is such a blessing!

I am a high school teacher - specializing in the Intercultural program - at a public school where the kids are actually nice and pleasant to work with, overall. And, we get a lot of freedom in our lesson planning, so this is just the kind of thing I love.

When I was a kid, because my dad was an elementary school teacher, I also wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Then, I started junior high, and I wanted to be a junior high school teacher. Then, I went to high school, and well, you get the picture. At some point, I considered becoming a professor instead because then you can teach students who actually choose to be there. But, at my school now, the kids in the intercultural program did actually choose to apply for it, so I kind of got what I wanted.

Okay, it is not all roses and My Little Ponies, because there are always a few kids who are total idiots or who have no ability in English. And, there are a few teachers who just plain annoy me and everyone else. Oh, and we have had some issues with getting good quality native teachers on our staff, but all that aside, I am happy with this job.

I never thought I would say that about a job. I was never happy at my part time jobs through college and after. And, when I graduated from college, it wasn't long before I was disillusioned by the reality of working and building a career. There was no joy in it whatsoever!!!! I really wondered, "is this it? Am I going to be doing this for the next 20 years?" I knew there was no way up, and I needed to find another route. I was looking into grad school until I decided to get married and move to Japan. I knew I was giving up certain things to do this - material things like a car, my furniture, etc., and relationships with friends and family might suffer - but I also knew that eventually we would be able to purchase material things as we build a life together, and that I would make new friends in Japan. But, giving up my job at the time was sort of a blessing in disguise. I didn't realize how much I disliked it until later...until I didn't have to do it anymore.

(I was a field rep for a certain publishing company...no, it was a certain division of a very famous publishing company, and I was on the road almost every day. I was dirt poor, barely able to pay the bills and I was in debt. I had only $50 a month to spend on groceries and most of my lunches consisted of a can of Pringles and a cup of gas station coffee to keep me awake while driving. I couldn't afford anything more than that.)

I think that the above description would explain why, after all these years since cutting ties with that publishing company and never having contact with those co-workers or bosses again might explain why I STILL HAVE FLASHBACKS!!!

I have flashbacks of driving around an unfamiliar town searching for an elementary school, of sitting in a school library chatting away with a cold-hearted librarian, of doing the same with a very warm, cheerful librarian who wanted to know all about my wedding plans, of eating those damn pringles!, of arriving home exhausted to an empty fridge and napping on the couch until it was time to go to bed...it's a wonder I didn't lose weight.

Certainly, that job was not my calling. I am proud to be a high school teacher in Japan, and that I can work at a school in the same area where I live, so there is not a long commute to work. Anyway, one reason for writing on this topic was to explain that though I will miss Ailin and being with her every day, I do think she will gain something from being at day care. I am not saying this to justify going back to work. It's great that we could bond over the past year, and I have put some systems into place which can maximize our time together, so I don't feel guilty about going to work and leaving her at daycare. Plus, the daycare system here is pretty good. And, I must admit that I like living on a double income...I still have fears about empty fridges and living on pringles!!!!

And, now I must mention how truly sad I am because my co-worker (close friend and godfather to Ailin) will be leaving Japan. He got into grad school, so he will leave his job at the high school and go on to start his new life. I don't blame him. He needs to work on the next phase of his life, get into the business world, make some money, etc. Not everyone loves teaching as much as I do, but he was a good teacher, and I (along with the students) will be very sad to see him go. It also makes me envious because I still have dreams of going to grad school. Suk said I can once the kids have gone to college. Ha ha. By that time, I will be 50 years old!

Good luck, Karl. Come back and see your god-daughter when you can. This gives me an excuse to go and visit you in Seattle.

I do have some standards, people.

This is something I find myself saying quite often...mainly I just mumble it under my breath when a friend/family member or my husband does something to annoy me, or when I am alone with Ailin and I stop her from doing something really stupid.

But first, I must mention something that happened today. God, I was so embarrassed! I was about to check out at the cash register during my weekly shopping trip. Usually, Suk goes with me on Sundays, but yesterday, we had a big snowstorm (no, not big, windy or violent, it was soft and pretty and we were left with a blanket of snow in which my husband was deathly afraid to drive. Figures.), so we couldn't go shopping. Today, I managed to get out there and do the shopping with Ailin. As I was placing the overflowing basket on the counter, a cheap bottle of white wine fell out and shattered on the floor. It rolled towards the feet of another customer and she yelled out in surprise. Oh, gosh, what has the idiot gaijin done now?! I was horrified. About 6 months ago, the same thing happened with a container of tofu, but that was tofu. It made a small mess and no glass was involved. I was embarrassed then too, but I had already paid for it, so they just brought me another one right away. This time, no one offered to bring me a replacement bottle of wine, and I was way too embarrassed to go and get another one myself. In this case, I had not paid for the wine and I offered to anyway, but they waved me off. I really would have. That "you break it you buy it" policy you see in American movies doesn't apply in Japan, I guess. Well, I am not sure it actually happens in the USA either because I have only seen it in movies.

Okay, the real subject for tonight. These are my standards when it comes to the safety of my daughter.

1. When the dog has licked her mouth for more than 2 seconds, I immediately put a stop to it.
2. When she starts to play with the dog's water or food bowl, I move it or shut the door to the dog's room. (Yes, he has his own tiny 2-mat room, which basically is just a place for his indoor toilet and his water supply, and where he stays when we are gone.)
3. When she is interacting with other babies and it looks like she is about to scratch their eyes out. Hey, it happens - babies don't have much control over their limbs, so they tend to reach out and slap or pull at other people's faces or hair. It doesn't mean she has a violent tendency, but I would gather that other mom's don't like it.
4. When she is playing at the jidoukan play spaces, and she decides the floor vent is her new favorite toy, I attempt to redirect her again and again.
5. When she tries to play with the computer cords, I put a stop to that. (There are no other cords within reach for her in our apartment, thank god.)

I know there are more, but my point is that I notice others being so vigilent and strict with their babies, and I am just too laidback about some things. I mean, if you have read my last couple entries, you have gotten the feeling that Suk is overly-careful with her, and he often admonishes me for letting her crawl across the room, or letting her stand near the TV, or letting her play within 5 inches of the dog, etc. But, even out in the community, I notice that Japanese moms seem to be really careful about not allowing their baby to cause trouble of any kind. Today, I took her to a play space in Jusco, and there were about 5 other moms there. Every time this one baby came near us, his mom was right on top of him telling him not to yell out or get too close to us. I guess she thought he should be quiet in the play space.

Well, I am having trouble explaining myself here, but it reminds me a conversation I had with a friend last month. She had decided not to hang out with certain moms anymore because they were just too careful with their babies. Being the laidback person she is, she always had a hard time finding topics to talk about with them, and she always felt like she was being judged by them. That whole, "I can't believe she gave her daughter a french fry!" sort of judgemental attitude I was talking about before, and I agree with her. It is hard to be around those people all the time.

(By the way, not to invite pity from anyone, but I was dumped by one of those judgemental overly-careful moms a few months ago. We are no longer friends, and I am not sure why. I don't think it is related to our mothering styles, but whether it is or not, I find that life is much easier with out her in it. I no longer need to worry about every little thing, and whether we are doing everything right or not, and let's research to find out if this is okay or not, and what if this happens, and what do you think of so and so who lets her kid eat french fries...I could go on and on about this little drama that played out in my life last fall, but I will spare you the details.)

Random but not thoughtless

I just re-read the little blurb at the top of my blog, and I was like - okay, that obviously has not been working for me. Old friends from the USA barely ever email me or correspond with me, and phone calls are as rare as a 3 dollar bill. I know some read it without commenting, and that is okay, but they could at least email once in while and let me know what they are up to. I should probably change the blurb to something else anyway. And, this sort of reminds me of my mutating Christmas card list which as way too many people on it, most of whom NEVER email, write, call, send Xmas cards or acknowledge our friendship in any way. Still, I keep the hope alive by sending them Christmas cards with the annual letter, but my hope is dying people. As the years go by, I have noticed that my Xmas list grows to include many foreign friends I have made in Japan, who do actually correspond with me on a more regular basis, but I still send cards to people from my past "hoping against hope" that it will inspire some sort of response to come my way. Rarely does it work, so I am hereby making the tough decision to cross them off the list. This is not a threat to any of you reading the blog...you see, I am sure if you know about my blog, then you are not one of those people. I am just venting a little bit here and wondering if others have the same problem.

Now, I am obsessed with many things, and I want to share them with you. My mom sometimes warns me when I "obsessing", and she is right. Maybe sharing with you will help me pull back a little.

1. Morning Routine Schedules and how to get everything done and get us out of the house on time.
2. Housekeeping schedule and how to keep the house relatively clean with little effort.
3. Hillary Clinton
4. Hillary and her health care plan
5. The fact that the democrats have offered up two candidates - a woman and a black man - and doesn't that mean our world is really changing? I shouldn't say "world" though because other countries do have female leaders. Doesn't that mean our country is really changing.
6. What Bill would be like as a "first lady". (Hopefully not as snippy as he has been lately.)
7. What Bill will look like in a red dress for the Fight Against Heart Disease campaign.
8. Blazers - looking to buy a couple of nice blazers for work, but can't find any on the racks yet.


Okay, that is only 8 things so I am doing pretty well this week. Here is what my husband seems to be obsessed about recently:

1. Himself
2. Food
3. Sleep and lack thereof
4. Sports
5. Making sure the baby doesn't get "dirty."
6. Making sure the baby doesn't get "hurt."
7. Smell Things

I warned him that I would blog about #7. He refers to anything like popourri, incense, room deoderizers, etc. as "smell things." So, whenever we go to the store, he always says we need to buy some smell things. It has been going on for so long an so often, that I forgot what these things are called in English. So, when I write a shopping list, I write "Smell Things" on it.

As for #5 and #6, can I just clarify that my husband thinks the baby will die or get seriously hurt (or dirty) at any given moment? And, when he is at home (which, thank god, is only in the early mornings and on weekends), he will not allow her to crawl around and explore the house for fear that she will ... god forbid ... get dirty. She is also not allowed to go near Max or touch him. So, he carries her around or keeps her confined to the couch, and when he can't do that, he puts her in the crib or playpen (and she screams and cries) or he hands her off to me. And, I am expected to carry her on my hip and do whatever the heck I am trying to do because anything is better than letting her crawl around. Of course, when he is not at home (and let's hope he doesn't read this), she has more freedom to explore, and since everything is child-proofed, there is little chance of her getting hurt. Okay, she might get some dog hair on her, and even some dust, but it's not going to kill her. Is it just my husband who obsesses about this? Or do others have similar experiences? Or am I just a really bad mother?

Ailin Stories

I know I don't write much about Ailin, but I thought maybe I should write a little bit about her sometimes. Here is something from just week.



Yesterday, Ailin was playing among her toys which were spread out on the living floor. She came upon Max's orange bone. She picked it up and looked over at Max, who was sleeping on the couch. Then, she crawled over to him, stood up, patted him on the back and handed him his bone. I was like, "watch that little brain work!!!"




Today, she went to daycare for the first time. She only had to stay for 2 hours. When I picked her up, her caregiver said that Ailin cried at first, but then they played some music and she was "singing" along to the music, and after that she was fine. As I was carrying her out to the elevator and we waited for the elevator, the first thing she said to me was, "Ma!" You know what that means, right? That was her first word, and no, it does not mean "Mama". She is talking about Max!

How They Met

I just want to call attention to my sister's blog. Her latest entry is the story of how our parents met, and it's pretty interesting. Please check it out! If you click on the title of this blog entry, it will take you to the right place, or just click on Hidden Passages in my Fave Blogs section.